Addicted
by Sarsaparilla
Summary: [SasuNaru] Lately, Sasuke's been having trouble keeping his eyes to himself, but when it becomes hands as well, what's poor Naruto to do?
1. Chapter 1

All righty, here we go. There will be **sasunaru**. Which means **slash**, obviously.

**THE Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters in it. **

Addicted - 1

Sasuke watched Kakashi watch Naruto, knowing full well that Kakashi had just been watching _him_ watch Naruto seconds before. Considering all the watching that was being done, it was really a pity that the blond wasn't in on it. He didn't even know about it. In fact, it seemed that his only focus was the ramen in front of him.

"Stop staring, Sasuke," Kakashi said just loudly enough for everyone to hear. Fortunately, no one seemed to care what Kakashi had to say about anything. "Eat your ramen."

A little surprised that his sensei had actually spoken to him, the dark-haird chunin narrowed his eyes. He hadn't wanted to be there at the ramen shop to begin with, and he _hadn't _been staring. It didn't help his already sour mood when he'd discovered that someone had been watching his watching (which was in no way like staring). He had been _analyzing_, damnit! He didn't want to be eating and he didn't want to be talking, and he didn't want to be there at all.

Uchiha Sasuke was good at analyzing, whether it be people or places or puzzles or ideas. However, he analyzed situations so completely that talking was almost painful for him. Every sentence was a well-planned move on the chess board. There was nothing casual about talking for Sasuke and he didn't like to do it. It was the same way with eating in public. People seeing him _eating_...Nothing good could come of such a situation.

Sasuke gave Kakashi a slightly heated look that said quite plainly _I wasn't staring_, before turning back to his untouched bowl of ramen. He couldn't have been staring at the orange-clad boy; it was impossible. Staring at someone as loudly dressed and as loudly voiced as Naruto meant risks. You risked your sanity and you risked your eyesight, and neither of them were good things to lose.

With his chopsticks, Sasuke clipped the noodles into tiny, pitiful pieces. He noted distractedly that Sakura was prattling on about something on his left side. One minute she was quiet and shy, and the next she was annoyingly chatty. On his right, Naruto, who was _always_ chatty, was swallowing his ramen at a terrifying speed. The Uchiha was fairly certain that he wasn't chewing...

With a "you gonna eat that?" the diced noodles were whipped away from him. Sasuke didn't even notice his eyes following the blond's arm until it was too late. Naruto caught the gaze and paused with the bowl nearly at his lips.

"Will you stop staring at me already?" he demanded loudly, adding for good measure, "Jerk."

Abruptly, the dark-haired shinobi pulled his eyes back to glare at the counter. He had _not_ been staring, and he said so.

"Yeah right. Your so busy trying to look cool that you don't even know what's going on," was insisted through a dribbly mouth of mutilated pasta. Sakura proceeded to reach behind Sasuke and smack the speaker.

Ugh. The people he had to put up with.

Sasuke hadn't been staring. Not only because it was impossible, but because he didn't stare. If anything, he'd been glaring. He wasn't one of _those _people Everyone knows the kind. Those people, strangers, that stare shamelessly at other people in the street or in the market or wherever. Typically, they would be staring at _you_, no matter who the 'you' was, and it was very unsettling.

Sasuke had never been, wasn't, and would never be one of _those_ people. Because he didn't stare, and even if he did, the target of his staring would never be the orange eyesore next to him.

Chancing a look at said eyesore, he slid off of his stool with Uchiha grace. Naruto had stolen his ramen, therefore he no longer had to be there. Not that he had been going to eat it anyway - I mean, people seeing him _eat_...

"I'm going home," he announced, to which Sakura responded by declaring that she, too, was going to blow this popsicle-err-ramen stand! and Kakashi nodded rather politely. There was something strange, though, Sasuke noticed, about the jounin's eyes, like maybe he was smirking behind his mask. The sixteen year-old shuddered, dismissed his unease, and walked home.

* * *

The next morning, every member of Team 7 arrived at the bridge to find their sensei waiting for them. Naruto reacted in the way only a Naruto could, somewhat obnoxiously. Sakura, on the other hand, withdrew into a very shy and polite form of herself that could almost be considered out of character for her.

"Kakashi-sensei," the girl said, barely audible beneath the orange boy's shouting. "You- you're...early?"

"-what the hell are you doing here? You're _never_ her on time! Hey! Wait! This _proves _that you can be on time! Why the hell aren't you _always _here on time!"

The silver-haired shinobi waited until a violent Sakura abandoned shy and shut Naruto up to speak. He cleared his throat. Everyone went silent, eager for the explanation. Why in the world had Kakashi decided to be early that day? There had to have been a very major shift in the universe, a glitch in the Matrix, a skipping of the great record of _life!_

"Well," Kakashi said quite passively, "It's the third of June. Does anybody know what that means?"

The pink-haired girl's eyes shone a glaring maybe-turquoise. "Third of June," she repeated, then guessing eagerly, "Nepotianus declares himself Roman Emperor! The First Crusade! Paris is bombed!"

Their teacher shook his head. "It _means," _he told them emphatically, "That yesterday was the second!"

Sasuke watched, leaning against a tree, unamused. He knew where this was going. Honestly, how could anyone miss it?

"Annnd?" Sakura drawled impatiantly. She had been right about the famous June 3rd's of the past and Sasuke hadn't even spared her a glance.

"And that, dear children, was the release date for the second Icha Icha movie! On DVD!"

Three stares, two blank, one just irritated.

"So the only reason you're here right now is because you didn't sleep at all last night," came Sasuke's voice.

Kakashi's crinkled eyes gave his grin away. "It was a time for celebration."

Naruto wrinkled his nose, "I bet you just watched that perverted movie all night! You almost worse than Ero-sannin!"

"You could ask Iruka what I was doing all night," the jounin suggested happily.

A small smirk broke on Sasuke's face as he watched his energetic rival stomp around miserably, yelling obscenities at Kakashi for making such crude insinuations about the beloved, the innocent Iruka-sensei. He took in the clenched fists, the flying blond hair, and the face looking caught between upset and disgusted. The blue eyes were narrowed defensively, their owner a blur of orange and blue as he waved his limbs angrily. The Uchiha's smirk grew - it was almost amusing.

So busy he was he thinking about just how mock-worthy Naruto was, Sasuke was almost surprised when Energy, personified, turned on him. "And what are you smirking at? Just _stop_ it, already!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow casually. "Stop what?"

"Stop staring at me! I hate it when you do that!"

"I do not," the Uchiha growled, "Stare."

"You know, I think Naruto's right, Sasuke-kun. You _do_ stare at him pretty often." Kakashi nodded his agreement with the statement as a line formed between Sakura's eyebrows. "Wait! Why don't you ever stare at me like that?"

"I don't stare at that moron!" Sasuke glared in Kakashi's direction. "Mission today?"

The sensei shook his head again. "Training. You'll spar with Naruto while Sakura and I work on her genjutsu."

The dark-haired boy nodded. Finally, this morning was going somewhere. His sparring partner ahead of him, he followed behind while trying to regain his cool detachment. He might have, too, had Kakashi not called after him.

"I'm here if you ever need to talk, Sasuke. Sometimes, when I find myself staring at Iruka..."

As he hurried away, Sasuke wondered what his chances were of successfully faking sick and being sent home.

* * *

Naruto was getting better. Of course, it didn't surprise the Uchiha anymore. Naruto was just always getting better, and now it was the genius who had to try harder to keep up. He clenched his jaw as he narrowly dodged another fist, this time headed to clip him on the side of the head. When he made to retaliate, an orange leg, which could be in no way attached to the body in front of him, shot out, kicking and tripping simultaneously. Rolling his flexible body into a clumsy sort of back handspring, Sasuke distanced himself from the twins in front of him.

"Dobe. I thought we agreed - only taijutsu," he said irritably.

Naruto looked at Naruto and then sent a smirk towards his sparring partner. "Have you ever made those sorts of agreements with, I dunno, an enemy you faced on a mission?"

Sasuke felt a smile tug on his lips, and he turned it into something a little more menacing. "Fine. I can play your way."

Naruto tipped his head to the side with a grin as the clone next to him shot off, disappearing into the trees. "You sure about that?"

The dark-haired boy didn't get a chance to respond, turning to face three more stunningly solid Narutos. The group through punches, kicks, and fire jutsu. The fight, five to one, quickly became smaller, and finally Sasuke found himself in front of one opponent again. The blond glanced the scorch marks marring the forest floor and chuckled.

"You're not as tough as you think, Teme,"

Sasuke, maybe a little offended, lunged forward with his left arm, feeling an incredible rush of satisfaction when his right fist caught the edge of his rival's jaw. And not just satisfaction, excitement, too. His being swelled with a masochistic anticipation; how would Naruto pay him back? There was always this thrill that went through him when they exchanged blows, whether he was on the receiving end of them or not, and this fight was no different.

"Bastard," Naruto muttered, having been caught off-guard. "That was cheap and you know it."

Smirking, Sasuke raised and eyebrow. "Yeah? What of it?" He watched as the other's eyes narrowed considerably. Just one more push, he thought. Just one more word and he won't hold back. "Dobe."

Needless to say, that by the time Kakashi had appeared in the clearing, both teenagers were tired and buzzing in the afterglow of their sparring session, Sasuke in particular.

"Well, boys," their sensei chirped, "I see that you've had a good time. Anyone object to breaking for lunch?"

Naruto suddenly found the energy to look enthusiastic. "Ramen?" he asked hopefully.

"Ahah, right," Kakashi rubbed at the back of his neck. "After last night, I thought it might be best if I left you all to fend for yourselves today."

Sasuke smirked at the other boy's slightly confused expression. "He _means_ he doesn't wanna have to pay for the ten bowls you're going to inhale."

"Coming from the anoretic," Naruto sniffed, knowing that it was the biggest load of crap he'd heard all morning. In fact, he had seen Sasuke shirtless, even nearly naked when they'd been at the hot springs, and though he was thinner and more refined, he was anything but unhealthy. He knew no anoretic could maintain such a perfect body, even if it was his or her goal to begin with.

But, of course, he voiced none of this and was faced with a rather huffy Sasuke. "What?"

The tanned boy didn't think he could help himself; he certainly couldn't keep the fox-like grin on his face. "You _are_ the Sasuke that refuses to eat, aren't you?"

Much indignance. "I just don't like eating in public!"

"So you save eating like a pig for home?"

"No!"

Kakashi glowed. He loved seeing them bicker now, when they were more friends than rivals. Especially when Naruto had the upper hand - it was so much more interesting.

"Is it an official Uchiha clan rule? No eating in public?"

"There are no rules! There are just things you don't do."

Naruto pretended to look interested. "Like lawn bowling? Do you not lawn bowl in public either?"

Sasuke's gaze was incredulous. _"Lawn bowling?"_

"Yeah, duh. Closely related to the sport of bocce ball."

"I know what it is, idiot! Stop being ridiculous."

"Refusing to eat in public sounds plenty ridiculous to me."

Smirking, Sasuke tried to turn the tables. "Well, for all we know, most things sound rediculous to you. After all, most things you say sound ridiculous to us, Dobe."

Instead of getting upset, like he normally would, the blond brightened. "I think you're just listening wrong."

Tables still in their previous positions, Kakashi noted.

"I'd like not to listen at all," the Uchiha quipped.

"It's not like you couldn't tune me out."

Sasuke sighed. "Believe me, I've tried. _No one_ is capable of tuning you out, Uzumaki Naruto."

"Like anyone would want to! A man with this much sex appeal? Yeah right."

"Man? Che! I don't think even-"

"Boys!" their sensei interrupted, reminding them both that he thought of neither of them as being even close to men. "Sasuke, it looks like your strange eating habits have lost you this verbal sparring match. It was close. My congratulations to you, Naruto. Now, I'm giving you forty-five minutes lunch break before we're supposed to meet with the hokage, and you've already wasted an eighth of that time. Ja."

And - pop - he was gone, leaving his two students, one first confused and then irritated, and one dancing a childish victory dance.

What was there left to do but go to lunch?

* * *

Kakashi had been quite intrigued when he'd been cornered by Hyuuga Hinata while relaxing under the shade a tree. He peered over the top of his newest favorite Icha Icha novel and gazed at her with a mild curiosity, waiting for her to speak first.

"Ah, K-kakash- er- Sens- H-hatake-san?"

The Copy Ninja grinned; Hinata was probably the only Hyuuga lacking in self-confidence. "Yes, Hinata?"

"I've seen that- it's- N-n-naruto's chakra is leaking," she managed out, obviously intimidated by the silver-haired man.

Now this was puzzling to Kakashi. Smile disappearing, he became the concerned sensei. "Just what do you mean? What did you see?"

"I saw N-naruto with Sasuke a few seconds ago. N-naruto's chakra...it-it looked like it was coating his skin. Nothing wr-wrong, really. Just too much, maybe. I-I don't know, I was worried-"

"Hinata," the jounin said, tone serious, "Do you think you could accompany me while I visit Tsunade? You would prove very helpful, I'm sure."

The girl's face immediately lit up at the prospect of being able to help her crush. "Yes."

* * *

A short time after Kakashi had disappeared, after Sasuke sighing that he had no idea what he was doing there and Naruto waggling his eyebrows and telling him that he knew _exactly _what he was doing there, they arrived at the Ichiraku stand.

That lunch, Sasuke ordered nothing, preferring to sit back and wait for his companion to finish. Which took a while.

At some point, the older shinobi was not quite sure when, he had this strange idea. It wasn't even idea, really, because, for maybe the first time in his life, Sasuke acted without thinking. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't eaten; maybe Naruto had gotten in more hits than he'd thought. Maybe he was still floating on his sparring-induced high. Whatever it was, he didn't think anything could come close to explaining why he actually _did it._

He was fairly certain that he was the only one who saw his hand reach out to brush Naruto's own, the free one gripping the bowl. The other boy didn't even notice

Sasuke did, though. Sasuke _really_noticed. Because he'd felt a jolt, like with electricity, only it was different. It was chakra. Pure, unrestrained chakra, straight from Naruto's hand into his, from one body to another. He had to fight to keep the smile off his face. Was this why he so enjoyed sparring with the blond? It had been invigorating, a rush of something so different from his own chakra. And he wanted more.

"Again," he pleaded, just a little too loudly, mind still out where it had been sent from that brief touch.

"What, Sasuke?" Naruto asked in between mouthfuls. "I thought I heard- Sas-! Sasuke!"

It was a surprised chunnin who lifted his gaze to a pouncing Uchiha. Suddenly, there was Sasuke, holding onto his hand for dear life, and breaking into what looked to be an unhealthy sweat. And then, just as suddenly, there was Sasuke, passed out on the Ichiraku counter

Oh man, Naruto thought worriedly, I should have made him eat something.

* * *

"The way I understand it," Tsunade was saying, "His chakra's gradual merging with the kyuubi's own has given him a temporary excess of it. I don't think there's anything to be worried about - no one should be affected, not even Naruto himself - and the safest way to deal with the problem is to simply wait it out."

"Will it affect his performance as a shinobi?" Kakashi inquired. "Should we treat him any differently?"

The hokage shook her head. "You shouldn't have to. I'll take a look at him when you bring your team in after lunch."

As they left, Tsunade had thanked both Kakashi and the Hyuuga girl. It was very reassuring to her to see their concern for Naruto; after all, it wasn't like the brat was careful or anything.

She put her head in her hands, peeking out at her desk from between her fingers. "So much paperwork..." She would have probably finally gotten to work, too, if she hadn't been interrupted a second time.

Not five minutes after his sensei disappeared, Naruto came crashing through the door with a limp Sasuke in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so here I am. I'd like to thank all the reviewers, you honestly made my week. Especially the longer ones. It's really, really great to know what I'm doing right. So, if I'm doing something right, please don't assume I know. I'm dense like that. If I'm doing something wrong, I know about it, I just haven't come across it quite yet, so please point it out. If you like it, tell me.

Review! Because a happy, healthy April makes a happy, healthy story! Special thanks to **AlterEthereal**, **KC Evans**, and **Incompetence** (who made my Saturday cool beans!). Oh, and Alana. And Desiree, because she actually says 'cool beans'.

Addicted - 2

When Sasuke awoke, he was extremely confused. He didn't know where he was, how he had gotten there, or why he felt so good. Hell, he didn't even know that he didn't know where he was. Usually this sort of thing would start him off angry before he even opened his eyes, only...

"-he was fine! And then he wasn't! He _fainted!_ If Uchihas don't eat in public, they probably don't faint in public either! Old Hag! Sasuke's dying! He just grabbed for me and _fainted!_ Uchihas don't faint! And he was shaking and sweaty! And he didn't eat anything! Kami, I _killed_ him! I killed Uchiha Sasuke, Tsunade! Just _look-_"

"Stop, stop, stop, Naruto! Calm down!"

Despite all the yelling, the boy on the carpet was feeling just fine. He opened his eyes and sat up just as the hokage was leaving her desk.

"For goodness sake, Naruto, he passes out and you come running in here and drop him on the floor?"

Sasuke's floaty feeling was starting to float away, and he was left with a general sense contentment. "Who?" he asked, to the shock of the others. "Me?"

"Y-yeah," Naruto answered. "But you're dead."

The dark-haired shinobi looked down at his body, which seemed to be all there. Then, he looked around the room - the hokage's office, he noticed, which was probably the reason that Tsunade was standing just over there. "You know," he said, "I don't think I am."

"But, Sasuke! You _fainted!_ And why are you so _smiley?"_

There was some sort of inner struggle, and then the boy felt his pride rise to the surface. Be offended, damnit! Sasuke's Pride was shouting. So Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

Naruto grinned. "Never mind, Old Hag. Look! He's fine!"

"I didn't faint," he growled. The fog clouding his mind was starting to disappear.

"So did. Like the girl you are," the blond taunted.

"I did not! I passed out because of low blood sugar."

"Because you refuse to eat in public like a normal person."

Sasuke sniffed. "I did not faint."

"Whatever you say, Princess."

Tsunade stood in front of them, hands on her hips. "_If you're finished, _I'd like to take a look at Sasuke. Brat, find Kakashi, and Sakura if you can. We're going to have our little meeting early."

As Naruto struggled out the door, which was now one hinge short, the hokage knelt down so she was even height with the Uchiha. "Low blood sugar, eh?"

Sasuke frowned.

"Hmm," she mused, moving her hands over a few chakra points. "You seem..."

To have stolen someone else's chakra? his brain supplied.

"..drained," she finished.

Sasuke stared.

"We can't have you over-exerting yourself at times like these. We're already growing short on reliable ninjas, and what with all the pressure of Akatsuki..."

"Drained?" the chunin asked, and Tsunade wondered if he'd even heard her mention the Akatsuki, of whom his brother was still a part.

"Yes, drained. Tell me, are you getting enough sleep? Taking the time to recover?"

His brain was feeling cluttered. This didn't make any sense. If, as he believed, he'd _passed out_ because of an overload of Naruto's chakra, why did the hokage seem to think that he was _lacking _in it? Drained - he certainly didn't feel drained. In fact, he felt much better than he had in a long time, like he had more energy than usual, not less of it. "Recover?" was the only thing he could pull from his heaving mind.

"How often do I have to tell you over-achieving, 'top ninjas'? The need for training _never_ outweighs the need for sleeping." She eyed him critically. "Nor eating. In your opinion, Sasuke, have you been eating enough? I want honesty here."

"I-I...But, it's not- I-" Was it him making these pathetic noises of confusion?

"Listen, I don't care how much Naruto tries to goad you into it, I will not have you working yourself to death. Er, well, sickness."

Sasuke had only enough time to wonder 'did she say goats?' before Tsunade was pulling up his shirt, and muttering "-don't _look_ malnourished; no wonder you've got all those little girls chasing after you." Feeling suddenly shy and maybe a little violated, a blushing Sasuke pushed his shirt back down and scrambled away.

"I'm fine," he stated coldly, only afterwards hearing it a little differently because of the woman's comment about chasing girls.

The Fifth grinned slightly. She could understand Naruto's slight obsession with the boy. It was all about the challenge - it always was - and prying into the mind of a tensai Uchiha was a challenge indeed. "You don't feel light-headed or dizzy?"

"No."

"Not at all?"

"No."

"Well," she drawled, "If you're _sure."_

Sasuke's Pride was enraged. He _wanted _to say "Of course I'm sure, you prying, perverted old bat! And _do not look up my shirt!"_ but his common sense would only allow "I am."

"Good then. I want you to go home and get lots of rest. And food. And, if you've any smarts at all, _Tensai,"_ she frowned, "You will not go out for meals if you refuse to eat in public." Tsunade chipped at the blue nail polish on her thumb. "You have the afternoon off, so use it wisely. You can go wait outside for your teammates, now. I'm supposed to be working." Then she made a little gesture with her hand that he interpreted as meaning 'your exhaustion has left me exhausted now leave me alone before I paper-cut you to death with the Eastern Fire Lord's land report and letters of complaint' and dropped into the chair at her desk

So he left the room, as gracefully as one could when one had to deal with an extremely uncooperative and broken door.

* * *

It was very shortly after that he was assaulted by a suffocatingly concerned Sakura and a still-rattled-but-trying-not-to-show-it Naruto. Kakashi, the only one looking nonchalant about the situation, was quiet and thinking. And definitely a little amused.

"Sasuke! Oh, Sasuke! Naruto said _dead!_ I thought you were_ dead_, Sasuke! I mean, I was sure something was really wrong! You're Sasuke! Sasuke doesn't just _faint!" _While the girl continued with her hysteria, Sasuke peered over the mass of pink in front of his face long enough to shoot Naruto a rather nasty glare, which erased the blond's worry completely.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan! Sasuke's back to his good old, grumpy self," Naruto chirped, flashing the V sign.

"Sasuke's not grumpy," the girl immediately defended, before stopping to think about it a bit. Despite her growth in terms of maturity, she still couldn't seem to part with the whole 'Sasuke-thing'. "At least, not most of the time. I see what you're saying, though, about the grumpiness."

He glowered at her. She shrugged apologetically, while Naruto beamed at him from behind.

Kakashi wasted no more time in herding them into Tsunade's office.

* * *

Naruto was extremely flustered. "W-wife!"

Sasuke didn't seem at all startled by the news, and Kakashi was, at most, slightly interested by the information. Sakura was stunned, but not nearly as much as her teammate. She'd never really known Gaara.

Apparently it was different if you'd actually fought the guy.

"Are you _insane!_ Gaara's coming here, with his _wife! What wife!"_

The hokage's efforts towards calming the blond down were getting them nowhere.

"He's seventeen! _Married at seventeen! _When did he get married? Who's the girl? _Why_ wasn't I invited to the wedding!"

"Naruto!" Tsunade cried. "Just _shut up_ and let me do my job!"

They were all surprised when he complied, clamming up and looking very unhappy about it.

"Now, I know this might have come as a shock to some of you," she said, Sakura nodding absently, "But you need to put that aside and be as focused as you can. Because of the visit, were really going to have to up the level of security around here. We want to make sure that the kazekage and his family are well protected."

"Family! Gaara's got _kids!"_

Sasuke fought the urge to roll his eyes. And lost. "She means his wife and siblings, idiot."

Naruto was still confused. "But why does Gaara need to be protected? I mean, that's just it. Gaara's _Gaara_. Of the Sand. He doesn't need protection. And you guys've all seen his siblings, right? Even if his wife's a useless ditz, they're more than ready to take on any bad guys!"

Bad guys? Sasuke thought. He's sixteen years old and calling them bad guys. Not enemy nin, but bad guys.

"But whatever, right? I mean, if Gaara and his girl need protecting, than I'm the guy for the job!"

Tsunade's eyes were stern. "No you aren't, Brat."

"What? Why not!"

Kakashi, who had been silent nearly the entire time, spoke up. "Because we're going to have to keep an eye on you, too. The Akatsuki have been very active these past few months. Very active. Gaara's visit to Konoha means two jinchuriki in the same village, making this a very dangerous time for the both of you."

There were awkward seconds of hush. "Then why are they coming to begin with," Sakura asked finally.

"Gaara and his wife were married while in their respective countries as a means to ally Lightening and Wind. They are using Konoha as a meeting point," the Fifth explained.

"Married without even _meeting _each other! How'd they do that?"

Tsunade sighed. "Over correspondence. They signed the marriage contract."

Naruto was just not comprehending the situation. "But _why?"_

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi cut in, "How is the Hyuuga clan taking this? Cloud has not been welcome here for some time, and, assuming that this girl is the raikage's daughter..."

Tsunade held up a hand and shook her head. "Things I need to worry about, as hokage. This alliance could be good for us, too." She sighed. "All I need is assurance from you that Team 7 will be one of the teams there to receive the girl."

"What? Can't we get Gaara instead?" Naruto complained.

Godaime allowed herself a smirk. "No. You're dismissed."

* * *

Come supper time, Sasuke found himself, for the third time in less than twenty-four hours, at Ichiraku Ramen, not eating. Because Naruto had wanted company. Which meant, under the circumstances of their weird little friendship, Sasuke not wanting to be there, Naruto talking, Naruto eating, Sasuke not talking, and Sasuke not eating. Not necessarily in that order.

"-and then, boom! You went down, Sasuke! And Gaara's _married_! Didn't see that one coming, that's for sure! Wait 'til I tell Iruka! 'Cause, you know what he always says!" Naruto peered over the counter to check the state of his ramen (future meal) before squinting curiously at the boy next to him. "Or _do _you?" He stopped, as if expecting an answer, and then shrugged. "Well, he doesn't always say it, but he has. He says 'love is love' and that 'everybody needs it' and not to live with anything less. But how could Gaara fall in love with his wife _after _marrying her? I don't think I could marry anyone if I didn't love 'em. Could you, Sasuke? But, then, you're _Sasuke, _and that makes things just weird."

Sasuke frowned slightly. "Thanks," he said sarcastically.

Naruto raised his eyebrows. "What? It's true, isn't it?" He then turned to see Teuchi place a heaping bowl of ramen in front of him and, with a cry of "yes! Ramen - _my _one true love!" he dove right in.

The Uchiha sighed. He really didn't want to be there. He wondered if either Teuchi or his daughter Ayame had witnessed his passing out, then tried to close his eyes against the embarrassment. _Of course_ they had. If they hadn't caught him slumping over, then Naruto's panic had to have caught their attention. Honestly, _dead?_

Sasuke snuck a peek at the blond. What had that been that afternoon? Well, he had a fairly good idea, but, as strange as it was to think it, he and Naruto _had_ touched before. And _that_ had definitely not happened.

It had felt something like taking a breath after holding one for an impossibly long time, like stepping into the cool evening after a fiery afternoon. At the same time, there had been this rush of danger that only a brush with the unknown and forbidden could provoke. Sasuke had never felt something so different. He knew it was chakra, Naruto's chakra, but it didn't feel normal. Rather, it felt exotic and thrilling. He could only wonder why. Why could he touch Naruto and feel this? Why was this chakra so wildly strange? Why, if it was Naruto with some sort of chakra leak, had Sasuke been the one to fall unconscious?

His fingertips itched to feel it again. Inwardly, Sasuke cursed. After all, this was _Naruto._ Blond, orange, and annoyingly ramen-obsessed. But he was powerful, and if that afternoon's experience had been any indication, very powerful.

Again, he glanced over at the boy. He was happily slurping up his second bowl, eating it so fast and focusing upon it so intently that anyone might have thought it his last meal. He wouldn't even notice. At least, probably not; he hadn't earlier. Sasuke still didn't even know why he was thinking about it, because he was, as most people liked to put it, a bit on the antisocial side. Antisocial people did not go around touching other people, unless violence was involved. And, again, _Naruto._

But it was like he needed it. He couldn't remember exactly what it had been like, and would it be terribly wrong to remind himself? It wasn't like he was stupid enough to cause a repeat of lunch. It wasn't like he was stupid at all. And he needed it.

...well, maybe he didn't need it. Not exactly...

But he really, _really_ wanted it.

Quickly, before he could change his mind, Sasuke gave in to temptation, he swept the upper halves of his fingers over the other's forearm. Just below the expected flood of intense thrill, he could feel Naruto's arm hair.

Making sure to pull back, the dark-haired boy bounced his gaze back and forth between his charged hand and the other chunin's face. No change. He was safe.

Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? he found it necessary to ask himself. Of course not. And he was buzzing and happy, and definitely appeased. Did he want more? Absolutely not! Because that had been a momentary lapse in judgement, and nothing else.

Lying both hands palm-down on the counter, he tried to suppress his smile. He felt like he could take on anything, anyone, and maybe he could. He was sure, somewhere deep inside, he was a little guilty about tapping in to another's chakra, but it had been worth it. So worth it.

"Sasuke?"

It had been like a combination of caffeine and adrenaline -

"Sasuke!"

- and it felt almost sinful. The fact that he didn't think he should be doing it made it so-

"Sasuke! What the hell is wrong with you? This isn't the same thing as what happened at lunch, is it? Like, are you going to faint again?"

The sixteen year-old was jolted back to reality to find the Ichiraku owners staring at him in concern, along with the blond who had his face up alarmingly close to his own. Sasuke scooted backwards and almost fell off his stool.

His face coloured. "Pass out, dobe. And no. I'm fine." He tried to say this as much to the half-stranger ramen shop people as to Naruto.

"Right. Pass out. Whatever, Princess."

The rug of wonderful feelings was pulled out from under him. Sasuke could have sworn he'd heard Ayame giggling.

_"Don't call me that!"_ he snapped, trying to be as quiet as possible. _Why_ were they staring at him?

"You know, I think Princess Sasuke would make a great nickname!" Naruto cheered.

"No."

"But you always call me dobe! I should get one too, you know. It's only fair."

"You already refer to me as 'Sasuke-teme', so you don't get to make another one."

Naruto pouted. "But, Princecess Sasuke, I haven't called you that in years! I've grown up and grown out of it!"

Sasuke gave a look. His face must have looked the same as if usually did, because Naruto hadn't said anything, but he knew that there was something a little changed on the inside. He felt freer. And sort of daring.

"Hey, can I get a bowl of what he got?" he found himself asking the ramen girl, jerking a thumb in the blond's direction.

Naruto gaped. "But I thought you didn't eat in public! What!"

"I don't."

"And haven't you told me a billion times how much you hate ramen?"

"Yup."

"So," Naruto waved his hands as he gesticulated. _"Why?"_

Sasuke smirked. "Felt like it, dobe."

The kyuubi-boy slowly smirked back. "I knew you'd come around, Princess!"

* * *

Ever since he could remember, Sasuke had been an insomniac. He'd seen too much as a kid, even before the massacre, to be able to sleep properly. As he got older, Sharingan had been his biggest problem. The Sharingan saw the smallest details, saw everything, and remembered it. At night, when memories of yesterday, last week, and eight years ago show up to lead normal people to sleep, they tormented him, and the mind of a genius never quits. That night, however, despite the hum of his body and mind, he was falling asleep before he reached his bed.

It had never happened to him before, and he might have pleased had he been conscious long enough to enjoy the beauty of it all.

Could it have been the ramen?


	3. Chapter 3

Addicted - 3

"So, Sensei, I have this friend..." Naruto began, then stopped. People always said it was a friend with an issue. It was always so obvious. Now, he was in no way a genius, but he did know that some sort of deception was necessary. Sure, he trusted Iruka just fine - how could he not? - it was just that it was so _embarrassing!_ Sitting at the academy teacher's kitchen table that early in the morning, Naruto was sure he'd just _die _if _anyone _knew what it was he was so worried about. He opted to try again, and to be more careful, more cunning, more- "Iruka-sensei, he's not really a friend. More like my friend's brother's godfather. Yeah, yeah, his godfather..."

The pony-tailed chunin held in his laughter and nodded for the boy to continue. He didn't want to hurt him by laughing at it him - Naruto really looked like he wanted to talk to somebody.

"Yeah, kay, he's been having trouble with...well with his friend. Who isn't the brother. And he isn't my friend. He's the godfather's friend, really..."

Iruka poured himself another cup of coffee.

"And this friend isn't exactly friendly. He doesn't make for very good conversation and he's kinda anal about touching other people unless he's trying to kill 'em, but he's still a friend."

Another nod. "I understand; go on."

"Well, what do you think my friend-er- my friend's brother's godfather should think if the anal godfather's friend starts getting all touchy-feely? I mean, it's not like I'm stupid! I totally felt it! Do you think he doesn't think I feel it when he touches me? He doesn't act any different, but it's not normal! Has Sasuke ever brushed his hand over _your_ arm, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto shouted. He then realized his mistake. "Er, I meant the godfather's friend." His shoulders sagged. "Shit. I'm just confused. Never mind. It's not even that big of a deal."

"Don't you think it is?" Iruka sipped at his coffee. "There's nothing wrong with being confused. You have every right to be."

Naruto raised hopeful blue eyes. It wasn't...wrong...to think the way he'd been thinking? "Y'think?"

The sensei tried to smooth out the wrinkles in an ugly, uneven, bunchy bit of crochet work - Kakashi's attempt at a doily and his first Christmas gift from the jounin. He smiled, hearing the man's words inside his head. 'Nothing says love like a homemade doily.'

"What exactly is the situation, Naruto? I want the story minus the godfather and his friend."

"Uhh. Um..." The blond tried to look everywhere but his former teacher, eyes roaming around the neat apartment. "Sasuke's been...friendlier than usual. Like he touches me casually and stuff. Usually on the arm. He acts like he doesn't even know it's happening - sometimes I think that I'm just imagining it."

"Does he seem to be acting any differently from the way he usually does?" Iruka wondered.

"W-well," Naruto fumbled, "He acts like a normal person sometimes. That's different, right? Like, he seems strange. That day when he fainted - I told you about that, right? - he woke up with this really funny smile on his face. And it wasn't evil or mean or anything!"

Iruka tapped his chin with a finger. "How often is he...touchy-feely?" he asked awkwardly.

"Maybe, uh, once or twice a day. More and more often, I think. And it's been almost a week since he fainted at Ichiraku. And, yeah, that's when it started, I guess." He sighed. "I just don't know whether it_ is_ a big deal or not. We've been kinda friends for a while, and I don't think he touches his other friends like that. I don't even think he really has other friends- I just- Sensei?"

"Hm?"

Naruto looked the man straight in the eye. "Is it wrong...to like it?"

Iruka's eyes widened in surprise and understanding. "L-like it? No! It's not wrong at all. You mean-"

"It's just that, well, I know it's not bad - I mean look at you and Kakashi-sensei - but he's a _guy_. And I'm a guy. And I never thought I'd, y'know...Plus, he's my friend, Iruka. We're not very close, but he's my best friend! I can't like my best friend touching me like that! It's not right to enjoy it for different reasons than he's doing it for, is it?" The sixteen year-old tried to hide his distress and focused on warming his hands in the sun that came in the kitchen window. Looking into the patch of light on the table made everything else seem darker.

"It's...it's not wrong, Naruto," the older chunin said, trying to figure out how to word it on the spot. "It isn't wrong to feel...attracted to whoever you're attracted to. Have you thought that Sasuke might be acting this way because he enjoys it the same way you do?"

"But," the boy bounced his knee up and down nervously. "I don't know how I feel about it yet. Maybe I want him to stop. What do I do if I want him to stop?"

Another cup of coffee for Iruka. It was too early to be having such a conversation. Six-thirty in the morning and Naruto was pounding on his door, demanding help. Sigh. "Well, if you want him to stop, I think all you would have to do is tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and that you'd appreciate it if he wouldn't do it anymore. I don't think Sasuke is so selfish that he wouldn't be considerate of your feelings."

"Er, but," Naruto's blush brightened, "What if I don't want him to stop. How do I tell him - without telling him - that I- that I think it's all right?"

The older man felt himself blushing too. "Ah, well, if that's the case, than you could let him know by...returning his...friendliness."

Despite being extremely embarrassed, Naruto managed a bright smile. "Thanks for listening, Iruka-sensei! You're a great friend."

He smiled back, secretly delighted at having been called a friend. "Anytime, Naruto."

* * *

Sasuke showed up late at the bridge for the third time in a row that morning. Later than their sensei. Kakashi said nothing, and all that Sakura and Naruto could have said had been said yesterday and the day before. 

His tardiness worried especially the Uchiha himself. Lately, he couldn't wake up on time. Hell, he could barely wake up period. It was all he could do to drag himself out of bed, let alone into his clothes and over to the bridge. To his aversion, Sasuke found his only motivation to be _that_ chakra. Just one touch, his morning pick-me-up, and he'd be feeling perfect. Better than perfect. Perfect times four, even, and feeling certainly well-rested enough to survive the day.

As he reached for the blond's arm with an alarming sense of familiarity, he sighed. When had morning coffee become morning Naruto?

It was only after that feeling of comfort and energy washed over him that he was startled by something incredibly unforeseen. Right _there. _This tiny, _tiny_ touch - fingers flowing down his inner arm and wrist, playing over his palm and then falling off of his own. A strong shiver ran up his spine, and there was a much stronger wave of chakra.

What?

He looked over to Naruto, searching for some sort of explanation. At first, Sasuke saw nothing in the boy's face, nothing different, anyway. Then he looked up, smiling. Not just that stupid fox-grin, either. A coy, 'I know' kind of smile. Mesmerizing blue eyes, mocking and inviting all at once.

_I know._

But what is it that he knows?

And then the blond disappeared from his side, moving to walk up ahead with the others to wherever they were going. He had been pretty sure that Kakashi hadn't mentioned a destination, though he might have zoned out. The boy looked down at his hand. Yup, definitely zoned out.

Sasuke felt very confused. Had that really happened? Suddenly Naruto was over chatting at Sakura. The Uchiha felt both tense and loose, over-excited, and frustrated in more ways than one.

What was that touch? What did it mean?

Sasuke had thought himself rid of all the confusion. After all, it _had _been a week, and he _was_ a genius. Or, at least, extremely intelligent, and well-educated to boot. He knew that there was something funny about Naruto's chakra. Something that made him like it. A lot. He knew that no one else felt what he felt when he touched Naruto.

Finally, he knew about addictions (well, he'd heard some stuff) and he'd come to the conclusion that that was what he had. The more he took, the more he needed next time. It wasn't like he had to worry, though. It wasn't self-destructive, and, judging by the way the blond acted, it wasn't Naruto-destructive either. It was, dare he think it, healthy.

But what was that return touch? It had never happened before, that's for sure.

Maybe Naruto hadn't been saying 'I know'. Maybe he'd been saying 'I noticed'. Or maybe, 'I noticed and I like it'. Or maybe 'I noticed and I like it and you should do that more often'...

Did he mean it in _that_ way? Was that the dobe's poor attempt at return flirtation? How could there _be_ return flirtation when there hadn't been any flirting to begin with?

Of course, it didn't matter to Sasuke, because he didn't swing that way (over the years he'd found he didn't really swing any way, just sort of was) and because if the only friendship he had went down the drain, then he'd have nothing. He'd be back at twelve years old - lonely, cynical, and apathetic. Not that he wasn't still a little cynical or a tad bit apathetic, even at sixteen. He just wasn't completely alone anymore.

That, and the fact that he couldn't jeopardize his morning rush by cussing Naruto out hypocritically about touching people without asking kept him from doing so.

The past few days had really put a strain on him, and he'd found himself not just wanting that tingling chakra touch, but needing it to get through the day. It wasn't the training, or anything. What training? All they had been doing was waiting for today, the _kazekage's_ arrival. And yet, he was so bloody tired when he could finally crawl into bed. Morning found him, if possible, worse than he'd been the day before.

So why scare Naruto away when he was still needed?

* * *

The boy in orange was feeling nervous. How well had that gone over? Sasuke had seemed...surprised. Which could be good or bad, depending. He himself had been surprised. The Uchiha had very soft arms. 

What did this mean to him? He hadn't actually been planning it, it had just happened. Like, he'd been thinking about whether or not he liked it, about what Iruka had said, and then Sasuke had touched him again, and he'd just reacted. Had he wanted to react? The question was still on his mind, but wasn't nearly as important as 'was that okay?', 'did anyone else see?', and, the biggie, 'what does Sasuke think?'

Never mind that he wouldn't dare call him Princess anymore. He'd tried while they'd walked to the eastern gate, thinking that maybe it would make things feel more normal.

"You wish, Princess!" was all he'd said about something unimportant, and the words screwed themselves up in his head. Suddenly, he found his head ringing with the rather interesting line of 'you can be _my _princess _anytime' _- insert suggestive eyebrow waggle here.

Sure, there was the whole touching thing, but Sasuke was still Sasuke, and he was still another guy. And, hello! Ew!

What bothered Naruto most was the fact that Sasuke didn't seem at all bothered by the touchy-feely business. The only thing that had caught him off guard had been the reciprocated touchy-feeliness, and that hadn't lasted very long either. And why? Why wasn't the dark-haired boy flustered? Probably just to upset him, damnit! He was being deliberately...stupid.

"Stupid Sasuke," he mumbled aloud.

Dark eyes flashed to focus on him. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing," stupid stupid composed stuck-up fainting touchy-feely bastard...

"Hn. Whatever, Dobe." And then there was another one of those tickling Sasuke-gropes.

While the dazed boy fell behind, Naruto sped up. Stupid groping bastard. He wasn't going to let himself react the same way he had earlier, no way. He couldn't even say what that had been. Stupid Uchiha. He was totally undeserving of the Seductive Uzumaki Smile. Also, it would be a terrible thing to complicate things further by throwing him another one, accidental or not.

Half the group was almost too out of it to notice that they'd reached the gate. In fact, Naruto had almost walked right into a group of people that weren't his people. He looked at their headbands - Cloud - and it clicked. Oh yeah, right, Gaara, married. Uh huh.

From the center of a group of intimidating Cloud nin stepped a tall young woman wearing civilian clothes. No vest, no visible weapons, and shoes that looked absolutely impossible to fight in. Naruto could already tell that she and Gaara would really hit it off. She was almost as scary as he was. And she was very beautiful. Beautiful in a fierce, 'I would kill you but you aren't important enough' kind of way.

At least that had been the impression he'd gotten when she'd stared rays of passive hatred through his skull.

Immediately, she identified the leader of their group. Offering her hand to Kakashi, she said quite simply, "I am Umiko." Great, Naruto thought, another person without a second name. If she's married to Gaara, does she get to be Umiko of the Sand?

Their sensei just smiled (or so they assumed) and shook her hand. "Hatake Kakashi. Welcome to the village of Konohagakure. It's a pleasure to meet you." He motioned for his students to step forward. "These are my subordinates; Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto, and Uchiha Sasuke."

Upon hearing Sasuke's name, Naruto saw this look appear in Umiko's eyes. It was frightening and familiar. Interestingly enough, it was a look that both she and Sakura shared - the Sasuke-fied spark a girl got in her eye when she knew exactly what she wanted and exactly how ruthless she'd have to be to get it. She didn't look like the typical Sasuke fangirl, and maybe this was a bad thing. She had a very murderous aura.

"Uchiha-kun," she said in a surprisingly serious voice, "I would appriciate it if you would show me Konoha."

Naruto watched her flip her long brown hair and flash him what was probably the Seductive Umiko Smile, and he frowned. What did she think she was doing? She was Gaara's wife! And he was still trying to figure out if he liked Sasuke touching him! Now, if he did, she was screwing things up! What if he decided that he _liked_ Sasuke _in that way_, and Sasuke decided that he liked _her?_ Interference!

And then she touched his arm. In the same place that Naruto had. And he switched willingly into his blantantly annoying mode.

"Anoooo, Umiko-chan? Once we find Gaara, _he _could take you! _Surely_ you'd like to meet your _husband _first!"

Umiko seemed very displeased. Hurt someone kind of displeased. "Surely," she quipped. Maybe she didn't want to meet Gaara at all. Inner Naruto laughed evilly, content with only having upset her.

Inner Sakura, on the other hand, was raging, while Outer Sakura looked displeased as well. Only this was more of a homicidal sort of displeased. Naruto found himself laughing inwardly at her too. Wouldn't it be great if he could make every fangirl this angry? Sure, it might be a _little_ dangerous, but it was oh-so rewarding.

"Or, Umiko-_chan,_ _I _could take you around," he said slyly, winking and really turning on the sickeningly fake charm.

Her grip on Sasuke's arm tightened, but instead of acting annoyed and glaring at him, she suddenly grew this malicious smile. "So it's you."

Something about her expression was very troubling. "What?" he asked cautiously.

Umiko released her prisoner and stalked slowly towards him. "I've heard about you. You're him. _It."_

Naruto dropped into a guarded stance, his face becoming serious. He knew what she was talking about. Did his obnoxious behaviour really make him that recognizable?

When she reached him, she lifted her hand and dragged a thumb across the marks on his cheek. "Not yours, are they?" she smirked. Then she was at his ear, whispering. "I've always wanted to see Konoha's monster for myself. So many stories..."she hissed.

Umiko's breath on his ear was even worse that her words. And he couldn't move, couldn't for his body to recoil.

Raikage's daughter, he reminded himself. Can't kill her, can't fight her, can't move her, can't touch her, raikage's daughter, raikage's daughter...

"What's it like to kill without remembering? I've heard the stories. Is it nice not to feel those kills?" Her lips were touching his ear, and something warm pushed against the front of his chunin vest. Her hand. "Would you show me this? Isn't it a spiral? Always wanted to see the seal..."

Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me, the raikage's daughter, please get off...

* * *

Sasuke shuddered as she made contact with his arm. He hated it when girls leaned too close like this; it made him feel so claustraphobic. Umiko was acting like Sakura at twelve, only with more of that killing intent, and it was making him uneasy. Her hand on his arm was really setting him on edge. With touch of any kind, he'd come to expect a rush of good feelings. There were no good feelings with her. Her entirely too-female hand rubbing in small circles was making him want badly to remove it. From _her _arm. 

He saw Naruto clench his fists and take a step forward, suggesting that Gaara take her around, then offering to do it himself, albeit in an irritating way. Now that was what a friend did, wasn't? That was proof of their friendship right there.

After a final squeeze on his forearm, Umiko disappeared from his side. Sasuke's shoulders sagged in relief. Thank you, Naruto!

But something was wrong. The dobe's eyes became wary, then panicked.

"-him. _It."_

What was she saying to him? Was she talking about him as a jinchuriki? He knew that Naruto had been a sacrifice, had saved the village from the Kyubi, but that was all. And he knew there was more to know that what they'd told him. Did this girl know?

Sasuke watched her touch the whisker marks that he'd been so curious about - what did she think she was doing? - and then step closer to Naruto than he'd ever seen a girl get before.

As she got right up next to his ear, he wondered if she was feeling what he felt, what he'd started to think of as strictly his.

Konoha's Number One Loudmouth Ninja was silent and looking fearful. What did he have to be afraid of? Some weaponless girl who was too arrogant for her own good? The blond was shaking, and so, Sasuke realized, was he. Why?

His head was a mess and he didn't know why. He did know that he should stop it, do something, be a friend. But he couldn't think. His mind was whirling - his, she was touching what was his - and he couldn't do anything. And Naruto was looking like he was having some kind of mental break down.

Some friend he was.

Luckily enough, all that was happening was not invisible to the others. While Sakura looked a mixture of angry, concerned and confused, and stood stalk still like the rest of them, Kakashi was movement. In one quick sweep, he plucked Umiko of his student and plunked her down right back into the middle of her growling Cloud nin groupies.

Sasuke took in a few breaths of much needed air.

"Umiko-san, you haven't been to Konoha before, but I'm sure that you have been briefed on our laws," Kakashi said calmly. "Haven't you?"

The brown-haired girl narrowed her eyes, looking short next to the Copy Nin. "I have."

One eye curved upwards. "Then I hope that you will respect them, for your own sake." Despite his once again cheerful voice, Kakashi's words were laced with serious warning. "Now where is Kurenai's team? She's not one to skip out..."

For the rest of the day, the Uchiha watched his teammate, searching for something that he didn't find. Naruto spent a good amount of time staring at the ground before smiling and going completely back to his normal, loud self.

And Sasuke wasn't sure why, but he wanted to know what was wrong, what had happened, and why it had.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again!

Thank you so much for all of your reviews! They're really really great, and they really help me better my writing. Well, at least they help better the story. Especially useful and motivating people include **KC Evans, Gold Silk, BlueRedemption, Miss. Jenetari, Tea, Lee, Mountain Blue, Authot sama277, antagonistic, Failing Mentality, and Alana. **But **everybody** made me happy. Maybe a little too happy...

Anyway, this chapter made me angry, though not nearly as angry as the last one. I apologize if it's subpar. I went on a small trip to Edmonton (too much family!) and never really recovered. Now I'm in a week-long writing workshop that is sucking the energy right out of me. In a good way.

Addicted - 4

Though he'd never admit it, Sasuke had been rather disappointed that he hadn't gotten to see the meeting between Gaara and his wife. Not for either of their company - _definitely _not - but to amuse himself by bathing in the tension, awkwardness, and general unpleasantness of their situation.

The entire situation had served to make him momentarily grateful for his freedom in choosing whichever girl he wanted to settle down with. The moment ended with the mix of arrogance and nausea that followed said idea. He knew that he really did have the option of _whichever_ girl, which reminded him of all females' (from ages ten to twenty) persistence when it came to the position of Uchiha Sasuke's Future Bride.

He would also never admit to that shudder of fear he so commonly felt while thinking these thoughts.

Regardless, he had expected much more of a production from Naruto. Tsunade had insisted on privacy for the young kazekage and his beast-girl during their first meeting. Kakashi had voiced his opinion on the subject, being that they wanted as small a group as possible bearing witness to the bloodshed. Sakura had growled upon mention of Umiko's name, while the youngest Uchiha had winced involuntarily. But Naruto's silence had been very worrisome.

The blond boy hadn't been without a smile, though. A very unconvincing, 'I smile because any other expression would attract your stupid, unwanted questions' type of smile. Despite his relatively low EQ and very rarely used powers of empathy, Sasuke was all too aware of what that smile meant, and what those blue, blue, blue eyes - like, really _really _blue - the deep, dark, light swirly blue beautiful-ness? and the way they just _were_ so... so...blue...?

Wait. What?

He was never eating ramen again. He now blamed it for all things, including his failing thought process.

"Don't care, don't care, don't care," he mouthed. Because he _didn't._ Quite honestly, the only eyes he'd ever felt the need to worry about were his brother's. And maybe Neiji's once or twice. But mostly Itachi's.

Never Naruto's. Why should he care if Naruto had admittedly beautiful blue eyes? If it upped his oh-so manly sex-appeal (not appealing to Sasuke in the least) it really would give him reason to notice. After all, more girls after Naruto meant less girls after him. This had actually begun to happen after puberty, though during the first few months of admirer conversions he had felt a little jealous. Losing something you'd always had was a difficult thing either way; suddenly others were sitting up and taking notice of a boy who'd always needed to be noticed, and it wasn't fair!

"Stop. Stopitstopitstopit." He didn't want to think about it. Thoughts like those were not only unwelcome, but probably illegal too.

He needed to relax. Sasuke hadn't noticed when he'd needed relaxing before his teammate's body had started to do this weird, chakra-dispensing thing, but now he noticed all the time. If it was before training, he needed to relax. Unwinding was good after training too. No missions to speak of? Don't feel like training? Relaxation is one's only option!

He liked to ignore his actual method for relaxation.

Sasuke squinted his eyes in the waning light. The group, having returned to the bridge after leaving the beast-girl with Gaara, was done for the day. There was nothing left to do and no reason to be there and the Uchiha was surprised that they still were.

Then Kakashi finally showed some indication of leaving. "Well team, you're expected here tomorrow, same time, same place, as always," he said in a bored tone. "And Naruto?" - the boy hmmed to show he was listening - "You'll probably be able to see Gaara now, if you want to. Ja." And then the man disappeared with his customary 'pop'.

As Sakura left for the Yamanaka Flower Shop - probably to warn Ino about Umiko and her interest in her two teammates - Sasuke slid smoothly over to Naruto's side and reached out for his favorite spot on the blond's arm.

He was startled when he seemed to miss completely and tip off balence. Stumbling, he went to try again. Naruto had just started moving at the wrong time; how could a ninja not be ready for that? The second time, the other boy's movements were much more deliberate, and he swung around. "Don't, Sasuke."

There were more surprises, it seemed. "What do you _mean _'don't'?"

Naruto put more distance in between them. "I mean what I said. I said don't, and I mean it."

"Then what was earlier?" he demanded venomously. "You weren't saying don't then! If anything, I'd say you were enjoying yourself."

There was a pause, then, "That was a mistake. I don't want you to touch me like that. I don't want anyone to touch me like that right now."

The brunette felt shook with anger and confusion, a feeling of burning rejection turning in his gut. He watched his rival turn his back on him and leave. And he couldn't shake the feeling of awe that was beginning to creep over him. Uzumaki Naruto had been the first one to ever flat-out not want Uchiha Sasuke, even if it hadn't been in a romantic way. Now his biggest rival had presented a different sort of challenge. I'll show you, Sasuke thought vehemently. I will get better than you, I will get to you, and I will get you, Uzumaki.

That wealth of chakra was as good as his.

He would start his going about getting it as soon as he'd taken a nap.

* * *

"Why did you marry _her,_ Gaara? Of all the awful girls out there, why did you have to pick the _worst one?"_

The kazekage didn't bat an eyelash in the face of his Leaf friend's whining. It wasn't anything new, and neither was the boys ignorance.

"I did not choose her to marry, I chose to marry her."

Naruto shook his head. "What the hell are you talking about? I hate you, you know that? You should just say what you mean!"

"And you should mean what you say," Gaara countered calmly.

"Stop that! Just tell me why you did it already!"

There was a silence that filled the room, and Naruto allowed himself a glance or two around the red-head's chambers. It was nice in there, he decided, if not a little dark. The décor might have needed a little work, though it might have just been the ugly clash between Gaara's hair and the mauve curtains, but other than that, the room was perfect. Fit for a village leader.

When the other didn't answer his question, the blond felt his impatience growing. Is he thinking about an answer or is this his 'that question doesn't deserve a response' reaction? Naruto wondered.

Just as he was about to remind Gaara of his question in an overly loud and obnoxious way, the staring green eyes shifted, their focus now on something out the window. "Being kazekage has changed things, Naruto. My life is for my people."

"The same people who hated and hurt you!" He couldn't help the rush of anger.

"They hated me, but they couldn't hurt me. No one could ever hurt me. I couldn't hurt myself."

There was no answer to that. Naruto knew what it was like, had felt that same pain. There had been a point in his early, angst-y teenage life when he'd resented the Kyuubi's healing powers. The fox could not let his host die.

"I am ruler of those people now. They fear me, but they also fear other things. Things like war."

Naruto snorted a laugh. "There hasn't been a war around here in ages! They don't have anything to worry about, then, since I'm pretty sure you're not gonna take 'em all out!"

The other jinchuriki cracked a small smile as he admired the chunin's expressive voice and face. Naruto was like the sand - always changing under the hand of the wind or the rain, different all the time, but always the same. Always Naruto.

Then the subject on hand sobered him. "This is much tension between countries as Akatsuki members run free and Orochimaru has been very quiet lately. Marriage to Umiko secured the alliance between Sand and Cloud, building with it a stronger bond between Cloud and Leaf."

"You didn't have to do that, Gaara. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your happiness!"

The kazekage's eyes narrowed. "Don't you see? That is what the title of Kage means."

Naruto's blue eyes flashed, angry with him, angry for him, and knowing perfectly well how right he was. Hokage was his dream and he had had years to ponder what that would mean for him if it panned out. Which he was certain it would. "You are married at seventeen!" he raged uselessly. "Doesn't that bother you? Doesn't it bother you that you will be stuck with that bitch for the rest of your life? You're too young for that. People like us, we shouldn't have to take anymore than what we already have."

"I'm Suna's youngest kazekage, and every kage, regardless of age, does what is best for his village."

"But she's _evil!"_ the blond spat. "She hates me! She hates _us!" _He then clapped a hand over his mouth and held it there. There was another pause. The conversation had stopped and changed directions.

Gaara narrowed his eyes. "What did she do?"

"Nothing."

His voice was angry and eerily quiet. "What did she do to you, Naruto?"

"Nothing! She didn't do anything, okay? I just hate her! I just hate the way she looks at me is all." He quieted. "I just don't like her. I don't think you should have to live with her for those people."

The chunin stood to leave, straightening his vest, avoiding those intense green eyes. "I should go. Sorry, Gaara. I'm just kinda stressed out right now."

As he reached for the door, Naruto was stopped by a quiet voice. "They still fear me as a jinchuriki, but now they rely on me for protection as well. It will be like that with you one day." Gaara's attention then turned back to the window and whatever lay outside it, and Naruto sighed. The conversation had ended, as he'd wanted it to, but Gaara would always have the last word.

* * *

It had been a peaceful walk home, quiet and in the dimming light, and Sasuke's own footfalls nearly lulled him to sleep right there. It had been almost enjoyable how completely uncluttered his mind was that evening. 

Sasuke had been really close to content.

Then, of course, it was ruined. The calm was shattered by a 'pop' and a 'yo!' and the teenager had to fight the urge to run home to his bed so that he could remain unbothered. Instead of this ideal scenario playing out the way it had in his mind, the Uchiha's tired steps ceased in front of a bored-looking jounin.

"What do you want, Kakashi?"

The man looked as though he'd expected such a response. There was a shrug. "Walk with me."

Sasuke complied, knowing without knowing that his team leader would follow him around regardless of whether or not he protested. Submitting is easiest, he thought, only afterwards realizing how close he was to turning into Shikamaru.

The two Sharingan-users strolled silently through the early evening. Though they were headed in the direction of the Uchiha district, that probably wasn't the destination Kakashi had in mind. Sasuke was waiting for his sensei to say what he had to say and leave. He fought the fatigue that slouched his shoulders and dragged his feet, but he knew that if he didn't get this over with quickly, he would lose badly and have to curl up and go to sleep in the middle of the road. Stupid Naruto, playing hard to get. Well, hard to get chakra from, at least. Still, he felt he was above breaching the blond's boundaries. They had a sort of understanding. They pushed each other, got under each other's skin, but they never pushed too far. After all these years, Sasuke knew exactly where the line was, what was too far and what was safe.

Besides, harassment just wasn't the Uchiha's style.

When Sasuke shot a look at his (tor)mentor, he saw nothing but a mask , forehead protector, and one impassive eye. No indication as to what he might want, Kakashi looked for all the world like was just enjoying a turn around the village. A headache bloomed at both temples. This guy was really cutting into his sleeping time, and, lately, he was needing as much of it as he could get.

Finally, Kakashi cleared his throat. Sasuke perked up expectantly. He remained in that state of anticipation for maybe a minute before he realized that the silver-haired man had no intention of voicing his thoughts just yet. The younger fisted his hands; he wanted nothing more than to demand in a Narutoesque way exactly what Kakashi's problem was. That, or take of running towards home, something he was still considering. He couldn't, though. That was probably exactly what his sensei was waiting for. He wanted Sasuke to give up.

Nevaaah! Inner Sasuke cheered wildly. He would wait it out. It was like training, an excercise in endurance. Only this time it was his patience that was being tested. The patience that was feeling maybe even more worn than the rest of him.

Kakashi would speak first. He would win. It would be just one more victory, and it would be happening any time now.

They walked onward (1).

Any time now, Inner Sasuke assured him. Any time.

Five more minutes passed and, though he hadn't seen it, the chunin knew that they'd passed the mansion by quite a bit already. Perfect shinobi posture abandoned him, his back curling over. Five more minutes and it felt like work to even breathe. A ninja worked hard, but once his day was over it was over. Sasuke's day was over, even if he hadn't done much, and he really, _really _wanted his bed.

Five more minutes and Sasuke's body gave up. He allowed himself to crumple to the ground while trying hard to maintain that Uchiha grace, but rest took priority over both beauty and pride, becoming a heap of black and chunin vest green. "I stop here."

Kakashi stopped too, eyebrow raising. "I think we need to work on your stamina," he said noncomittally.

Sasuke's glaring black eyes were blinking more than they usually did, and he was trying to hold his eyelids up while maintaining a threatening, very unhappy look. "Shut up."

The jounin crouched down beside him. "This is why you've been late. Overtired, can't get out of bed, can't wait to get back into bed, correct?"

Sasuke the Heap nodded slowly.

"Do you know why?"

A shake of the head. "Why, do you?"

Kakshi's eye upturned happily. "Maybe."

Sasuke felt like groaning. He didn't, of course. Inner Sasuke was already upset over his inelegant position on the gravel of the road, and he tried to ignore both this and the pebbles digging into his backside.

"Tell me Sasuke, do you consider yourself a selfish person?"

Immediately his thoughts shot to Naruto. "No," he lied.

"Do you ever place your own interests above the best interests of your team?"

"No."

Kakashi sighed. "Listen, Sasuke, you're going to have to start sorting out your priorities. Your attraction to power is really going to get you into trouble some day."

The boy's eyes narrowed suspiciously. What exactly was that supposed to mean? How much did his teacher see with that one eye? "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Then you're going to have to figure it out on your own. I'm pretty sure there's a lesson to be learned through all of this."

"What? What do you mean you're pretty sure?"

"Walk's over, Sasuke. Do you think you can crawl back home on your own?"

"Screw you."

Kakashi shrugged. "Sorry, not interested. I'm a one-man kinda guy, know what I mean?" He raised a hand. "Ja!"

And then the jounin was gone, leaving an exhausted Sasuke sitting in the middle of the road. He hadn't gotten anything out of their little jaunt, was still a little confused by it, and was a fair ways away from home. He was cold, and his legs didn't feel like working.

Somehow (he would never remember the journey), the Uchiha made it to his own bed in his own room in his own house. Well, mansion. He fell into a heavier sleep than he'd ever experienced before, hating Kakashi with every aching bone in his body. He didn't have any time to remember to hate Naruto, too.

* * *

(1) - ONWARD COW! No, I don't own Inuyasha either. I don't even own that movie. It's a sad thing, but I had to say it. 


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for all of your reviews! If I try to say anything about them, I'll really just be repeating myself. I hope that you guys like this chapter, because we had a sort of love hate relationship going on. It was fun, though.

The kitchen calls! Enjoy!

Addicted - 5

Only the best become great ninjas. Everyone said it, and that's because it's true. Only people that really, really want it get anywhere at all in ninja life. And _that's _because it's tough, trying in patience, boring sometimes, and all too interesting at others. Perseverance, that indomitable spirit that keeps every ninja wanting to put in all that effort, exists as the foundation for a few key unwritten rules that every good shinobi binds himself to. Pride helps, too.

Amongst all of these unwritten rules, only two concerned Naruto the day after his talk with Gaara. Firstly, a ninja never gives up, and, secondly, a ninja never runs away. It really doesn't matter what your ninja way is like, giving up and/or running away is blasphemy!

But one had to break a few rules sometimes, right? Especially if one was dealing with a stalking, touchy-feely Sasuke.

Naruto had been headed over to Iruka's when he'd come under (very subtle) attack. His raven-haired teammate was just standing off to the side of the road, looking like he wanted to look like he was going somewhere but not, and the other chunin had simply passed right by. He wanted to avoid the awkwardness that there might have been after he'd told Sasuke not to touch him anymore. Avoid the person, avoid the issue, yeah? Well, unfortunately that plan is dependant upon avoiding the person. If Sasuke didn't want to be avoided, he wouldn't be. He and the rest of the world had gotten used to the fact that things just fell into place if he wanted them to. Sure, he hadn't gotten Itachi on a platter yet, but he was determined and he was the last honourable Uchiha. And he was just plain cool.

It had seemed easy; spot Sasuke, skirt around him, disappear. Then the bastard had to get in there and mess things up like he _always_ did, and force Naruto to break the rules.

Rules built on pride and determination!

And pride, damnit!

The skirting around had actually been very uninvolved. And easier than he'd calculated for. Sasuke hadn't made a sound, hadn't even looked like he remembered yesterday at all, and the blond had simply marched past. Barely any skirting at all.

The small pebbles of the road tripped along underneath his feet as the sun shone warmly down on his back, and he was flooded with relief. Issue successfully avoided!

Or was it?

He turned around, expecting to still find Sasuke there. But he wasn't. His touchy-feely friend wasn't there anymore, and instead of relaxing about everything, Naruto tensed up again because he could still feel Sasuke's chakra signature out there. They were close.

So close that it couldn't have been possible for the Uchiha to disappear to begin with.

Iruka's place, Iruka's place, Iruka's place, Naruto chanted inwardly. He did _not_ want to have to talk with Sasuke, or fight with Sasuke, and he really didn't want Sasuke touching him. So, safety was with Iruka. He broke into a jog, despite the confused stares that were now added to the mix of hateful and disgusted.

He could feel the distance between himself and his stalker, and it wasn't changing. He was being followed by one of the only people he could identify from this far away, and that was his advantage. His one advantage. Sasuke, on the other hand, was hidden, faster, and had been acting weirdly. You never know exactly what can change when someone starts acting _that _oddly. Oh, and that bastard had _another_ thing over him, too. Sasuke probably knew where he was going.

Naruto's blue eyes widened and some part of him wondered what he was so panicked about. But the fact was that his rival would probably set up a one-man stake-out over at Iruka's building.

Or maybe the jerk was planning to keep it simple and attack before they even got there. This possibility should have been more apparent earlier, but it became very clearly the most plausible of situations when the distance between both boys changed, and Naruto really was attacked.

The dark form of his best friend flew towards the ground, and the blond almost expected some sort of wings to catch before the boy hit the ground. Instead, though, there was a rougher than usual landing, and Sasuke tripped into a sprint. Straight for him.

And in comes the rule-breaking. Normal rules were meant to be broken, while unwritten ninja ones were not, but Naruto didn't care. It was now a choice between running away and giving up! If he didn't run away, it would be giving up, forfeiting, and basically saying 'Sasuke, you get to do whatever you want to me.' Though that did sound good in his dreams sometimes, when he wasn't really focused so much on that it would be Sasuke he was saying it to, the sixteen year-old didn't like the idea that it could play out like that in real life. He had the right to say no, and running away instead of giving in would be laying down the law in an 'I'll deal with you later' kind of way.

Besides, most of the bad guys he met tended to run away whenever it was convenient for them and nobody gave them any trouble about it.

Naruto was good at running. Sure, he wasn't faster than Sasuke, but he'd always had people chasing him after pranks, before pranks, and just because he was himself. He was used to that rush of fear-adrenaline mix. He didn't get as freaked out because of it as other people might, and so was able to keep his head in these types of situations.

The two chunin jumped in and out of trees, circled both each other and the smaller neighbourhoods, and were soon spotted careening through the market area of Konoha. Instinctively, Naruto headed towards Ichiraku first. Iruka's apartment was farther away, and he was hoping to shake Sasuke before he had to resort to his last resort. Hey, ramen saved him from hunger, maybe it would save him from his latest pursuer. Maybe Sasuke would just faint again.

He hoped that Sasuke could just learn to keep his grubby hands to himself and stop confusing people, but, as a shinobi, he didn't rely on hope often.

Ayame the ramen girl wore a very frightened expression when an orange blur, followed closely by a black one, appeared and flung himself over the counter.

"Help! Somebody! Sasuke's finally flipped!"

"Dobe! What the hell's wrong with you?"

Naruto nearly choked on his own laughter. _"Me?_ What the hell's wrong with _you?"_

"Stop moving!"

"No way! I'm not stupid, stupid!"

"Actually, you are."

"Get away!"

Ayame, one hand raised to cover her mouth, looked on in horror as two of the village's most well-known chunin chased each other around the tiny shop. Her father leaves on a bathroom break and _this_ is what happens! She let out a squeal of fear when what began as a fairly innocent chase quickly escalated into a sparring match and more. When Sasuke started getting a little too bold for Naruto's liking, the blond let a few shuriken fly in his direction. When his prey tried to drag the battle out of his favorite ramen restaurant, Sasuke used a very low level chidori to kindly redirect the poor boy. All the while, the younger of the two was trying desperately to avoid coming into contact with him.

It was chaos.

"Stop throwing those things, idiot!"

"I'm..." - dodge - "_not_ an idiot!"

"Yes." Kick. "You." Jump. "Are!" Small chidori. "Give up!"

_"Don't touch me!"_

"Who would want to touch _you?"_

"Uh, _you,_ obviously!" Dodge. "Just how crazy are you?"

The fighting paused as both settled themselves at opposite ends of the long counter. At least until Naruto flung two kunai at his friend to prompt a quicker answer.

"Che. I don't _want to."_

"Then what-?"

"I have to! It's not my fault! Now hold _still!"_

Upon hearing that, Naruto's tan face paled and he actually _did_ hold still. Of course, it was not because Sasuke had asked him to. More because Sasuke was acting weirder and weirder, and kinda like some crazy...weirdo.

Ayame was not the only one surprised when three kage bunshin appeared to toss the fourth and real Naruto through the shop's roof in a spectacular display of orange, blue, and blonde.

* * *

"Now hold _still!"_

Umiko, on a walk to escape the 'unsettling silences' competition she and her husband had been having, was acutely aware of the disturbance over at one of the local restaurants. It was a cheaper one, one that served cheap food and one that had a cheap little lamp hanging out front. She'd heard of it once or twice before actually arriving in Konoha. By the way most people were walking widely around Ichiraku Ramen today, she could guess that its popularity only waned when a couple of well-trained young ninja began kicking around inside of it.

One of them really held her interest.

Not the Kyuubi boy. He did pique Umiko's interest, but it was an interest borne from hatred - a disgusted fascination. The Uchiha, on the other hand... Well, his name _was_ Uchiha.

Sasuke. Beautiful, beautiful Sasuke. When she'd first met Gaara, that quiet anger, terrible uncontrolled fire that burned behind his green eyes had dampened his looks. It was a turn off, an added turn off to the whole jinchuriki thing.

But then she'd met Sasuke, and he had had that very same angry fire blazing just behind his collected face. The raikage's daughter had discovered a whole new level of attractiveness. Dark, brooding, and dangerous. Very handsome, too.

And right now, he was chasing the fox boy around a ramen stand. Her eyes widened and she jumped slightly as said fox boy erupted straight out of the roof, landed, and sped away. A ragged-looking Sasuke then set out to follow him at a much slower pace. He, however, did not leave through the roof.

The girl's feet, pulled by both curiosity and attraction, started her trailing them both. What could Sasuke want with such an animal? Maybe he was just going to play with him a bit.

If he was, Umiko wanted to be there.

* * *

When Sakura had heard the commotion from over at Ichiraku's, she knew immediately that it was going to be just another day of fun for Team 7. Though she didn't even know what her friends were fighting about, the fact that they were fighting at all meant that normality was returning. After their confrontation with Umiko the day before, and then with Ino just after that, the pink-haired girl had been feeling pretty terrible.

She headed towards the shouting, was one of the only ones walking towards the noise instead of away from it, and smiled. Life was good. It had always been like this, and she took comfort in the fact that her team would continue to live life this way until Sasuke's stoic mask finally broke and he swept her away to be married on the Uchiha grounds, preferably under a large sakura tree while it was in full blossom. Or until her resolve finally broke and she settled for Naruto.

Sakura didn't really like to think about what post-Team-7-life would be like. She planned to just go on living as if things would turn out all right in the end.

_"Don't touch me!"_

Now, that _had _to be Naruto. No one else could be that loud. She could see Ichiraku in the distance, and long with the large group of people who had chosen to walk on the other side of the street, and the young kunoichi was almost skipping. It couldn't be normal to find things like this normal, but it really was.

Inner Sakura's happy rambling stuttered, though, upon spotting her newest enemy standing not far from her intended destination. Gaara's beast-girl was standing there, calm, watching the events unfold.

And she probably had her horrible, snail-brown eyes glued to Sasuke!

The spring in her step disappeared as she strode meaningfully towards a new target, chuckling evilly when Umiko was startled by Naruto throwing himself through the roof. Sakura was used to these sights.

Gaara's wife stood there for only moments after the explosion of wood and Naruto before following after Sasuke who was walking briskly after Naruto, and the chunin decided it was the perfect time to catch her off-guard. That bitch needed to be taught that nobody messed with Naruto. And nobody - _nobody - _touched Sasuke without _her_ permission.

This was, obviously, permission that she would never give, but all was forgotten as she joined in the chase.

* * *

Naruto was both distraught and very pleased with himself. Sure, he had run in the wrong direction, the one that led to a place he liked to think of as Very Very Far From Iruka's Place, and sure, he could now profess of Sasuke's state as a total maniac and feel absolutely no guilt, but things were looking up. He had finally gotten faster than the bastard! Either that, or Sasuke had gotten much slower, which he severely doubted.

He was sure he'd lost Sasuke the moment he'd flown through that roof! He might be running away, but he was doing a damn good job of it.

As he sped towards the outskirts of town, he refused to allow himself to even think of slowing down. If he did, he could never be sure whether or not Sasuke wouldn't just find him again, mask his chakra, and get him trapped.

And then what? the blond wondered. What would happen if he caught me?

Well, Sasuke would, for one, start confusing his sexuality again. Naruto could admit, at least to himself, that Sasuke's open affection felt good. It made him want to be affectionate back, and it made him want to see if the Seductive Uzumaki Smile really worked.

But all this also scared him. The way Gaara's bride had touched him had made him feel like filth, and he didn't want that. He didn't know why something so small seemed to matter so much, because the entire Umiko incident had barely lasted two minutes, but it had really affected him. People had said mean things to his face before, and that was nothing new. What was new was the touching.

_Why _did everybody suddenly seem to want to touch him?

Sasuke had said, though, that he didn't want to. He'd said that he had to. And that was like needing to, right? And wasn't that pretty creepy?

A combination of the hypnotizing blur of the trees and his own thoughts left him unalert and suddenly wondering why the world had gone all sideways. And then upside down.

Naruto lay there winded and on his back, too shocked to struggle properly as something dark draped itself over him and let out a contented sigh.

"Sasuke? Sasuke, _get off!"_

"No," came the calm voice, and the jinchuriki wondered how his rival could be acting so out of character and so normal at the same time.

"No, I mean it! Get off! I'm warning you!"

There was another sigh. "Stop moving, Usuratonkachi."

"NO! No I will NOT stop moving, sicko! Leave me _alone!"_

Battle recommenced with a knee jerked in the direction of one of Sasuke's more sensitive spots. Granted, it was a low blow, but no one could tell Naruto that it was undeserved. He knew when someone over-stepped his boundaries, and Sasuke was _really _over-stepping them. Hell, his boundaries had been crushed underfoot, trampled even, and now lied very far away, completely forgotten.

The raven grunted and rolled over on to his side. "Damnit!" he cried, gritting his teeth. "That hurt!"

"I'm sorry I had to do it, Jerk, but you're my friend, _not _my boyfriend."

"Moron! I don't..." Sasuke buried his head in his, before re-emerging, cheeks red with pain and anger, the thrill of the fight, and maybe something else. "Are you saying you don't want me?"

The blond's jaw dropped in disbelief, and he barely registered the dual gasps that fell in through the trees. "I-" He swallowed. "I- Wha- No! No!"

* * *

Now that Naruto was still, Sasuke was finding things much easier. He leaned over him and trailed his fingers down the other's arm, hoping to replicate for his teammate what he'd experience the day of Gaara's arrival. "Then what was this? What was that smile?" Sasuke knew he could get what he wanted this way. And Naruto would get over it when things ended, because he was unbreakable and bounced right back. He wasn't worried about their friendship so much any more, because, contrary to what Kakashi thought, Sasuke _did_have his priorities sorted out.

"I want you, Naruto." Only a partial lie. And he knew that they had an audience, so it was best to lay it on thick.

While the boy on the ground gaped like a fish, Umiko and Sakura crashed through the undergrowth and into the space between the trees. What they'd landed in hadn't been a clearing, so there wasn't enough room for one person let alone four, but they made it work. His other teammate looked crushed and incredulous, while the girl from Cloud appeared to be both interested and simmering with controlled rage.

Things were quiet for a long time, the silence broken only by Naruto's heavy breaths and the small sips of air Sakura was taking in. She wasn't breathing out though, and her already pink face was growing to be a lobster red.

Sasuke could didn't even try to suppress his smirk, and wore it proudly. There was something to be said for flooring people like that. He'd never really tried it before and found it to be a real rush. Maybe not a Naruto rush, he thought wryly as he remembered his returned strength, but a rush all the same. He might even consider doing something like that again, if it weren't for the fact that he was already addicted to something and it wouldn't do for him to get stuck to something else.

"So," Umiko finally broke the silence. "He's not just a toy to you? That's too bad. I was hoping we could have some fun."


	6. Chapter 6

Naha! Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad that I'm getting feedback, because, believe me, I'm taking it all into account. Also, WHOOP for 100+ reviews!

Here we go! Chapter 6!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

Addicted - 6

The only thing Sakura's shocked brain could really register was that, one, she wasn't breathing normally, and, two, she couldn't remember how. Her lungs burned, and she tried to move air in and out at a healthy pace. Unfortunately, the pace she _did_ achieve was one that verged on hyperventilation.

She saw Sasuke glare up at Umiko from his place on top of their mutual blond friend. Instead of questioning the death glower or the tension, her brain stuck on the fact that Sasuke - _her _Sasuke! - was sprawled rather sensually over Naruto.

_"I want you, Naruto."_ Not "I want you, Sakura" as it should have been. Naruto. That was what she'd heard. And it didn't look like a joke.

Her two teammates had betrayed her and then decided to get busy on the forest floor. Breath escaped through her lips in a harsh gasp of pain while the first of many angry tears trailed down her cheek.

As the hurt and sadness built up inside of her, the kunoichi watched the scene playing out before her. Umiko was saying something, and Sasuke looked almost like he would get up and kill her if it wasn't for the terrified-looking Naruto trapped beneath him. Naruto himself was turning his frightened eyes around the group gathered there in that too-small space, as if each and everyone of them was a lunatic.

"He's a monster. There is nothing human underneath that shell," Umiko said with certainty, and Sakura didn't even bother trying to understand.

"He doesn't deserve you, Uchiha-kun...Sasuke."

These words were easier to get. The pink-haired girl fought the nearly identical ones that ran through her thoughts along, of course, with _what? how? when? why? HOW? _and _WHAT?_

Of all people, _Naruto?_

_Sasuke_ and _Naruto_.

He wasn't even competing! Ino was expected competition. So was most of the female population of Konoha. The Uchiha heir had had a number of fanboys before most had given up and accepted the fact that he wasn't gay, or even bi.

The pink-haired girl, whose blood had already run very cold, became slowly aware of a dark, uneasy trickling feeling that was occurring in her stomach. She wasn't certain exactly what it was, but knew that it had to be tied to the sudden realization that the entire event she was bearing witness to was one that would crush dreams and hearts across the country. By the time Naruto had finished throwing the world into a chaotic yet bleak bout of depression, Sakura knew that people might not notice her suffering at all.

Perhaps the trickling was one of premonitious qualities. Or maybe she'd eaten something bad at breakfast that morning. Whatever the reason for it, it pushed an already on-the-edge Sakura straight over said edge, and she began punching wildly at the person nearest to her. Hell hath no fury like a kunoichi scorned and then pushed over the edge by a trickling sensation.

Umiko, apparently, hadn't heard, and was caught off guard when the female ninja's fists whirled towards her. "I _hate_ you, you stupid bitch!"

There is a definite difference between being Raikage's daughter, and being Kakashi's student. The difference is also very distinct when it's between Raikage's daughter and Tsunade's part-time apprentice. Gaara's wife hadn't been trained from a young age to throw sharp, pointy things acurately, nor how to swing chakra enhanced cuffs and had never felt inclined to take it up as she grew. Even when her father had forced her into some variation of ninja training adapted to be used solely for self-defense, Umiko had shirked the first half of every lesson, and the entire hour on weekends. There was no way she could have foreseen such a potentially disfiguring attack in her future.

"You come here and screw everything up! I hate you! You've been oggling Sasuke-kun since you got here! And even _Naruto!_ You even went after _Naruto! _You adulterous scum! Whore! All your fault! You show up, and _this_ happens!" With every accusatory word spat came an equally violent blow. Umiko kicked up a leg and arm to defend herself, but Sakura's misplaced rage was white-hot and invincible.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

On the sidelines, Sasuke couldn't hold back a sadistic smirk. What was it people said? Two birds with one stone? He mentally went over the course of events. Maybe even three birds with one stone! Then he had to pause, so as not to get ahead of himself, and compromised. He'd killed two birds with one stone, and another bird with another stone. Whichever way you looked at it, Sakura was still beating his latest annoyance to a pulp, and Naruto's shivering body was still caught underneath his own. The greatest part about all of this was the constant flow of beautiful energy he got from every point where that tan skin made contact with him. Almost as wonderful was his increased tolerance for it. He didn't feel like passing out, he didn't feel like getting up, and he sure as hell didn't feel guilty for being the cause of such a commotion.

It was nice, he decided, having his rival cowering just because he was acting a little unpredictable. All it took was a blatant come on and a few ulterior motives, and he could win anything! Any spar, any infuriating spat that the blond felt like provoking, could be won at anytime with a few sexy words. He'd had no idea that an embarrassed Naruto was so weak.

"G-get off, Sasuke-bastard!"his friend pleaded, reverting back to the old nickname in his time of panic.

The other boy just chuckled deep in his throat, half-dizzy with pleasure and a hazy happiness that seemed to be coating everything.

"Sasuke!_ I said get off!"_

Things were good. Really good. Birds were dropping faster than the stones they were shot down with, and all the energy Sasuke had lost during the chase for his blond friend had been reimbursed in one fell swoop. The sun was probably even shining brightly on the people and things outside the trees, and he knew this because he was up close and personal with Naruto's blond hair and could easily spot the places that caught the sun and the shadows.

Later, when they were both laughing about this over a few bowls of ramen, Sasuke would have to remember not to mention how beautiful the explosion of sun and hair looked up close. Silkier than he'd thought it could be while still maintaining its shape. He'd really have to forget about the strands of hair that were almost like rays of sun themselves, sparkling and shining, even in the dampened light in the trees, and those eyes. Even now, in Sasuke's shadow, Naruto's eyes gleamed, the blue darkening and lightening like the ocean changing under moods and weather. Very pretty. But when he was rubbing the sunny-haired chunin's face in his fear later on, his brief fascination with what should have been quite simply blue and blond had to be edited out. Way, way out.

"Sakura!" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke almost chuckled evilly again, just to show he meant business, before he realized that it hadn't been a warning call of his own name, but an alarmed shout of somebody else's. He looked up a little too late. That was what had ruined his day. Had he been a little earlier, he might have been able to roll both Naruto and himself out of the way of a suddenly airborne Umiko, followed closely by their pink-headed teammate, but, as it was, he had only enough time to execute a replacement jutsu. His slower-than-usual thought process hadn't gotten to figuring Naruto into his plans before his body reacted and he was cut off from his energy source.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

When Sasuke disappeared from on top of him, a lot of the heat did to. Naruto's body still hummed where they'd been touching, but he could hardly think much about that. Instead, he pushed himself as far into the ground as he could go and watched Umiko sail over him. He winced as Sakura flew passed too.

Everybody had gone absolutely insane, and, judging by the weak responses his childhood crush was prompting from the Beast Girl, she was going to need someone new to beat on fairly soon. Naruto had a feeling that his head would be the next one up on the chopping block.

Which wasn't fair at all! Had he _asked_ for Sasuke to go all hormonal? It wasn't like he'd actively tried to seduce him or anything! No, on his own, the bastard had decided to make Naruto the target of every girl alive. Just thinking about it, his life flashed before his eyes. Even Sakura was probably going to try and kill him, accusing him, most likely, of turning her dearest Sasuke-kun gay!

Scrambling out of there, in a direction that was no where near where Sasuke had ended up, was obviously Naruto's best chance.

Thankfully, he could use the present mayhem to escape relatively unharmed, and soon he was moving towards Iruka's house faster than he'd ever gone before. Halfway there, he realized that he was being followed by no one. Still, he dared not slow down. Normal people were hard enough to predict, but Sasuke! Trying to predict the actions of a crazy Sasuke was damn near impossible.

He was in such a hurry when he arrived, that he forgot to be loud and forgot to knock, and so ended up catching Kakashi and Iruka engaged in rather explicit activities on the couch. The door exploding inwards sent such a shock through both participants that they rolled off the sofa in the middle of their love-making into a heap on the floor.

"Help me! Hide me! Get dressed and save me, Iruka-sensei!"

The academy teacher sputtered, found that there were no words, and hid himself underneath his partner. Kakashi, on the other hand, did find words which he growled dangerously at his student as soon as he'd covered his face with the mask around his neck. "Get. Out. Now."

"I wasn't talking to you! Iruka! Iruka! Sasuke molested me!"

The jounin's anger at being interrupted was suddenly replaced with an amused curiosity. "Sasuke molested you?" he asked, sounding intrigued.

_"Yes!_ I was violated! And he's after me, damnit! He's gonna catch me and do it again!"

"If I let you talk to Ruka-chan," Kakashi began bargaining, "Can I watch?"

Iruka, hair disheveled, hair elastic long gone, could not believe what he was hearing. There he was, naked from the waste down, sitting underneath his boyfriend, who was completely naked save for his mask, and listening to him try to get in on watching his student get molested by another of his students. Kakashi was horny all the time, the reason for most of their sexual activities, and this particular afternoon had started no differently. Now, though, the sex had stopped halfway through, and he was going to be left like this because Sasuke had the hots for Naruto?

_"What?" _Iruka breathed incredulously.

"What?" Naruto repeated much louder. "I need to be hidden! You just want to feed me to him so you can watch, don't you?"

"Well, I do admit," Kakashi said rather sheepishly, "That was what I'd been thinking initially, yes."

The man beneath him was shaking with both rage and barely restrained passion. _"Kakashi!_ We were stopped, in the _middle, _and I still have a _problem _that you've neglected to _fix. _If you do not follow me to the bedroom _right now_, I will _cut your problem off!"_

Sakura and Sasuke arrived just in time to hear Iruka's last sentence, and, while Sasuke didn't look any worse for the wear, the girl next to him looked even more traumatized than she'd been before. Today had just not been her day. She prayed fervently that she would wake up from this nightmare to a world that was normal - a world in which Sasuke did _not _"want" Naruto, a world in which Umiko did not exist, and a world in which kind academy teachers were never caught with their pants down.

Sakura had tuned the world out while she wished for the normalcy of yesterday. Unfortunately, she tuned back in in time to hear her sensei's next phrase.

"You know, you're acting fairly aggressive for an uke."

Iruka, sweeping his gaze around the room, was suddenly mortified and hid his reddening face in the space between his lover's neck and shoulder. "Can we go to the bedroom please?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"Oh, don't worry," Kakashi consoled, understanding Iruka's misery, eyes upturning happily in the face of stares from all three of his students. "They already know you're the uke, I think. Everybody does."

Sasuke, looking pointedly in the other direction after noticing that he'd been staring, had to nod in agreement to that. Everybody _did_ know.

"See? Sasuke knew."

"Bedroom, please."

"Sasuke, do me a favor? Can you molest Naruto quickly? Iruka wants to go finish up the sex."

"Kakashi!"

"I knew it!" Naruto screamed, pointing a finger. "I knew you just wanted to feed me to him! Just so you could watch!"

The silver-haired man wasn't fazed by this. He nodded with a serene contentment. "Yes. I admitted that to you."

Iruka began pulling on his boyfriend's shining locks. Hard.

Sakura was feeling another trickling sensation and was on the verge of another break down. This time she would go for Naruto, the real problem. Inner Sakura cheered her on.

Naruto, eyes panicked, scanned the room for a way out. His teammates would be after him any second, and Iruka was too busy wanting sex with Kakashi to save him!

All the confusion and distress was Sasuke's fault, but Sasuke could have probably cared less. The Naruto-high he'd been on had worn off, and now he was even less amused with the havoc than he would have been usually. Without another thought, the boy turned and jumped out the window through which he'd come, taking with him half the room's tensions and unease.

Having seen Sasuke leave without even trying to molest him, Naruto immediately felt a little better. Maybe he could make it to his own apartment safely. He might be able to shake Sakura and lock himself in before the news of Sasuke's sexual preference got around. Without another thought, the blond had bolted out the door through which he'd come.

After Kakashi's latest sources of excitement had disappeared, he found himself giving in to Iruka's wishes. Grabbing an afghan off the back of the couch, he wrapped it around his lover's waist and left, still naked, for the bedroom. Iruka, by the time he'd started pleading miserably to be taken to the bedroom, had been only wanting to hide. Maybe he'd gone a little too far that time and had really hurt the man's feelings. Kakashi doubted he'd escape the ire that would surface later on. However, he lived by the philosophy that an apology and make up sex could fix anything, and so wasn't too upset by the situation.

Sakura, left to a living room smelling of men and sex, didn't know what to do. Inner Sakura's chant - "Kill Naruto! Kill Naruto!" - was dying down, as there was no Naruto to kill. The trickling feeling receded. The girl, at this point, had no idea why she'd even gone to Iruka's apartment to begin with and walked, with an air of gentle bemusement, right out the door. Once at the bottom of the stairwell, she cracked her knuckles. Punching that Umiko-bitch had made her hands a little sore.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

Over at the Hokage Tower, Gaara was quite pleased upon hearing that Umiko would be spending the night in Konoha Hospital. He'd never really like Sasuke, or that girl with the funny-coloured head, but things had really gone his way that afternoon. And, from what he'd heard, he owed it all to their stupidity.

In the quiet darkness of his room, the kazekage almost smiled. All of this probably tied back to Naruto. He could feel it. Honestly, how often did something as unforeseen as Sakura putting Umiko into the hospital happen completely without any influence on Naruto's part?

He shook his head, amused. Being in Konoha was certainly helping him adjust to married life better than he thought he ever could. Maybe he'd agree to go to that supper Tsunade had been planning. In light of the circumstances, and the fact that he might not have to deal with Umiko if he was around Sakura, it was sounding better and better.


	7. Chapter 7

Addicted - 7

He was in a happy place, barely felt his body while he drowned in Sleep's warm hug. Then the unpleasantness began. The trigger? Waking up.

Slowly, any comfort Kakashi may have been in was sucked from him. Things then sped up as he registered the sound of his lover's annoying alarm clock - the one he was sure he'd destroyed long, long ago - and he remembered very quickly why he'd always hated the very space the clock existed in. It jackhammered his foggy head and made waking up an experience that could only be described as having one's soul ripped from one's body.

Tired eyes narrowed as he remembered exactly why Iruka would have felt it necessary to resurrect something that brutal. They'd had an argument, but the unthinkable had happened.

Make up sex hadn't worked!

Not that Iruka had refused to participate in it. Facing the facts, they were both horny ninjas with _needs. _The not-so-innocent academy had indulged in post-argument love-making and then forced Kakashi to sleep on the couch.

On. The. Couch!

And now this immature alarm clock warfare? As the jounin's ire rose, he realized that this was definitely not a game. He would admit to having embarrassed Iruka yesterday, and he could understand the hurt his lover was feeling. Unfortunately, a hurt Iruka will always mean an angry Iruka. An angry Iruka will always mean hell.

With all the grace of a half-asleep shinobi of Konoha, Kakashi rolled of the couch. His goal was the bathroom, and, despite all the muscle strength he _knew _he had, it wasn't making itself apparent that morning. He was prepared to stop at a midway point. Should an enemy ninja attack, he or she would just have to wait for him to finish brushing his teeth first.

Upon entering the bathroom, he blinked blearily at his reflection, saw that he needed a shave before 'work', remembered that no one would see his face there anyway, and grabbed for his toothbrush. In his haste to remove that stale, itchy feeling from his mouth, he toppled the toothbrush glass. The porcelain treasure - hand-made by one of his chunin's long dead aunts - plummeted to the tile where it was smashed into what Kakashi approximated to be around a hundred billion pieces and three large, razor-sharp shards.

Shouldn't he have been able to catch it with his crazy ninja-fast reflexes? Probably.

He glowered at the one nearest to him, cursing the floral design that mocked him from the floor. "I hate you."

It said nothing.

"With my soul," he emphasized, only to have it strike him the next moment that, if being awoken by that alarm was really as soul-tearing as it seemed, he probably hadn't a soul to hate anything with. So he left the shattered cup on the floor, stepping over and then away from it in disgust.

That was one more strike against him when it came to making up with Iruka. He'd probably be accused of breaking it on purpose at some point in their relationship, just because they lived in a very honest partnership and Kakashi had mentioned the toothbrush glass and its ugliness at least twice. This was definitely not going to go over well.

As he grasped the toothpaste, though, the calm of just before the teeth-clean washed over him. What nicer way to start one's day than by brushing one's teeth while musing about life? How long would he make his dear students wait today? This was one of the Questions of Life pondered while grooming oneself in the bathroom. Another was: how do chickens become chicken powder? Do all dogs really go to heaven?

_Why _will the toothpaste not come out and _stay _out?

That was not a Question of Life, but rather a Question of the Day. It seemed that even daily dental routines were to be disrupted that morning. Every time he tried to put the paste _on_ the brush, it would barely make it out of the tube before been sucked straight back in. Kakashi tried again and watched in frustration as the glob of white disappeared the moment he stopped squeezing it out. Maybe it was suction. Maybe it was Karma. Heck, maybe it was magic.

It was damn annoying, though, and there were no 'maybe's about that. Out-in, out-in. It was so frustrating that Kakashi almost considered swiping his toothbrush across the mouth of the tube while the paste was in the 'out' position. He didn't actually, though, because he'd always been rather obsessive whenever germs were involved. Touching the tube with the brush was almost as serious an offence as drinking from the milk carton, or sneezing near the table, or breathing on the food.

In his frustration, while the toothpaste was being put through that torturous out-in routine, there was a power-surge of previously dormant muscle strength and his infuriating tube of toothpaste exploded minty fresh all over the bathroom mirror. He stared in shock. Then he stared in anger. The sight of white mess was familiar, and mocked him and his inability to solve relationship problems with sex.

"I hate you with my porn," he said to it at last, meeting his own glare in the spattered mirror. At least this time he was hating with something that he knew he had. Porn was also reliable and important.

Once both mirror and toothpaste seemed thoroughly put out, Kakashi was sure he would feel better. When they did and he didn't, he threw a handy sleep-safe shuriken before thinking, landing it in between Reflection-Kakashi's eyes,

"Shit!" He watched his eyes widen. "You are so screwed! Iruka's going to kill you! And then burn all your erotica!"

Events and circumstances had convinced him that it was not going to be a good day.

When he cut his foot on a piece on a piece of porcelain and was forced to sit pull himself into an awkward position to get it out, he found himself feeling very ashamed. The famed Copy Nin of Konoha had been brought down by bad Karma and a bathroom. Where was that crazy ninja grace? Nonexistent, apparently, in everyday life.

He traced the lines of mud between the tiles as he thought. There had to be someone he could blame this on, some way he could justify having destroyed Iruka's bathroom. Someone smaller than him, preferably. He traced yesterday's events back to the main problem. Just before Naruto had interrupted them, he and his boyfriend had been involved in an extremely passionate exchange. It would be so easy to end things there and get on with life, but there were two problems with that.

One, Iruka was, for all intents and purposes, Naruto's father figure. The teacher would turn him into Kakashi powder if his childish blame-game ever reached the man's ears.

Two, it was really hard to make anything Naruto's fault after all these years of knowing him. Especially when there was someone who'd actually caused all of yesterday's trouble and truly deserved to be punished.

Bandaging his foot, Kakashi grinned a nasty grin. "I guess it's D missions for Sasuke."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

Sasuke was the first to arrive at the bridge the next morning - something that had been the norm before the norm had had to go and get itself all screwed up. Naturally, he was only a little thrown off. One look at the sun told him that he'd arrived even later than he had in the days before, and so how was it possible that he'd still shown up before anyone else?

Then he remembered yesterday - not like he could have entirely forgotten the fiasco - and had to catch himself before he sighed in exasperation. Of course his teammates were being idiots. They were all ninjas; could they not handle a little chaos now and then? Naruto, in his infinite cowardice, had probably sought refuge in his apartment, having assumed that the dark-haired boy would pursue him again today. Despite that the dobe was dead on with his assumptions, Sasuke still felt that he should take it like a man. What sort of shinobi just runs away?

Obviously the straight kind, the Uchiha mused.

And then there was Sakura. Dear, dear Sakura who was so very shocked by Sasuke's own open display of homosexual love. Not that he was gay. He would vehemently deny any and every accusation that suggested otherwise. He would probably also make the accuser disappear. Painfully.

Still, that face she'd made when he'd rubbed up against their teammate and mutual annoyance... It was not strange, he supposed, that she hadn't shown up yet - that she wasn't going to show up at all today. Sakura was heartbroken, it was sad but true. She'd gotten slightly less clingy over the years, but seeing Sasuke's interest in anyone other than her was sure to give her a start. The fact that Naruto had been the focus of his affections had probably given her a heart attack.

It was almost funny. He'd had a lot of fun yesterday, an unhealthy amount for any dedicated avenger of his clan, but he really couldn't help but see the humor in it all. Sasuke looked around, taking in the bright afternoon, the puffy white clouds. The upside to his no-show team was that he'd get some one-on-one training with Kakashi. After all, what else would they do in the absence of Konoha's two loudest chunin?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

One-on-one training hadn't been exactly what Kakashi had had in mind. Instead, the Uchiha heir found himself cleaning rain gutters that hadn't been touched in decades. His gloved hands pulled the moldy leaves from their home in the gutter and dropped them over the edge of the house where he hoped they would land in a pile. After he was done that, he was supposed to bag them and get rid of them. Instead, he was planning on burning the hell out of them before anybody saw him.

It was ridiculous! A chunin assigned to a heap of D missions? A _genius _chunin?

The silver-haired jounin had seemed disturbingly pleased as he doled out the punishment for 'antagonizing one's teammates'. As if. He was just bitter about not getting any last night.

Another handful of leaves and other crap joined the growing pile with a plop.

Nearby, Kakashi was supposedly watching to make sure Sasuke was doing things well - it didn't do to have a ninja doing half-done jobs. Another as if. He was reading Jiraia's smut. It wasn't even like he had to lie.

And since when were Konoha's talented chunin the answer to household chores? Genin, sure, but Sasuke?_Uchiha_ Sasuke?

Plop.

This D mission wasn't even a _real_ D mission because there was no way in hell Iruka would consent to something quite this embarrassing. Well, maybe if he knew the reason behind his advances upon Naruto, but he didn't. No one did. Iruka was bound to be very angry at Kakashi, regardless, and wouldn't put up with the man for long enough to ask about any such D missions as rain gutter cleaning.

Plop.

He only hoped that one day that little orange book would finally melt his sensei's perverted brain.

Finishing off the second side of the house, Sasuke sighed. Sliding along the roof, getting as close to the shade as he could, he relaxed against the shingles. He could really do with a Naruto boost just about now. Wouldn't it be nice if some day they could just bottle and sell Naruto's chakra? It had its own unique feel, a Kyuubi taste to it that made the whole chakra-stealing experience undeniably pleasant.

After a small rest and more of wishing the orange nuisance was around, he peered over the edge of the roof, down at the dark pile at the ground. Time to go take care of that. The sooner he was done, the sooner he could attack Naruto, the sooner he'd be feeling much better than he was.

Sasuke dropped to the ground, fully aware that Kakashi's nose was out of his book for this brief moment in time, and prepared to blast away. It was only a second of thought and preparation before he put his Gōkakyū no Jutsu to work.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Up in the trees, surrounded by the dark green leaves of late summer, Kakashi watched one of his student's favorite techniques fizzle and die. The teenager seemed suddenly dizzy, falling to the ground where he held his head in his hands.

Interesting, the man mused. It's exactly as I suspected. And Sasuke taken down by D mission work?

If the boy learned his lesson quickly, the Copy Nin could probably avoid getting directly involved. To help ensure this, he had a long list of tiring missions handy. If the Uchiha was half the genius he was said to be, he'd eventually pick up on what was going on and stop things before they went too far.

"Hurry up down there! A lot of genin were vying for this mission, you know!"

He smirked behind his mask when his ears registered the angry "che!" Provided things continued to unravel the way they were, and that Naruto's ability to hide himself had improved over the years, there would be no need for anyone to worry about anything! Excepting, of course, Kakashi, who still had to win back fair man's heart.

At the thought, his mood soured slightly. "Put your back into it!"

Sasuke threw him a vicious glare.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

Tsunade tried to bite back her laugh, but the idea was too crazy to manage it. Her wide eyes shone with glee as she regarded the Cloud nin. "Haruno Sakura put Umiko in the hospital?"

A nod.

"Because Sasuke's gay?"

Another nod.

"And wants to get into Naruto's pants?"

There was a rather uncomfortable cough. "So we've heard, Hokage-sama."

Shizune's giggles drifted in under the door. Even Gaara seemed amused, if not a little disgusted by the idea. Tsunade regained her composure and smiled apologetically at the ninja. "Had I known what she was capable of, I would have made sure Umiko wasn't anywhere near her. Are you sure Sakura wasn't provoked?"

"Er...well, not as far as we know, no."

"So none of you witnessed the 'attack'?" Her voice was harsher now. She would be damned if Cloud exploited something like this. "What proof do you have that it wasn't self-defense?" Tsunade congratulated herself. Self-defense almost always worked, in her own experience.

The previously confident ninja shifted from foot to foot. "Umiko-san certainly doesn't have a past history of violence-"

"And neither does Haruno-san," she lied. "She's very smart, studies hard, and got top marks during her time at the academy. She's from a respectable family. Both her parents are upstanding citizens of Konohakagure."

"Oh, I was not suggesting that she wasn't!"

"No?"

"Well, it's just that we don't know this girl. We only have your word, and though you are the village leader, we can't help but feel that you aren't completely impartial."

Tsunade's lips twisted into a smirk. "Why don't we ask her husband? Kazekage-san, please tell this gentleman what you know of Haruno-san's character."

The fiery-haired teen's eyes softened slightly in his enjoyment of the moment. "I do not know Haruno-san well, but I do know that she is honourable and a proficient konoichi. I do not think she would be one to start a conflict."

The godaime grinned behind her hand. From what she had seen while training Sakura, the girl was extremely prone to fits of rage which she every so often took out on Naruto. Sure, she was a little pissed off about all the trouble that Sakura had caused, but nobody here had grown to like Umiko anyway and her fate at the pink-haired girl's hand was just too funny.

"There you have it," she said in her no-nonsense voice. "Even Gaara-san believes that Umiko's situation could only have been her own fault. Do tell her that we are very sorry that she will not make it to the supper tomorrow night. Our medic nins will take good care of her."

The man seemed lost for a moment, looking from side to side as if he wasn't quite sure what to do, but then seemed to come to his senses, bowing in respect before exiting quickly. As soon as he was gone, Tsunade turned to her fellow village leader.

"Thank you."

Gaara's green eyes burned into hers. "I like her no more than you do," he explained simply, and she felt suddenly very sorry for this young man. For a seventeen year-old to give up his freedom and sentence himself to a lifetime of difficulties... It was more than anyone had asked of him, and certainly more than anyone had asked of her. She thought back to her reasons for at first turning down the position of Godaime - they all seemed petty in comparison to what this boy was bound to suffer through in the future.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Will you be coming tomorrow? I know that Naruto will want to see you, especially in light of this new Sasuke issue."

For a moment, she was sure she saw a wry smile light his face, but it disappeared as she blinked. She realized for the first time exactly how dark the rings around his eyes were.

No sleep, she thought. The boy who doesn't sleep.

"I will be coming. Thank you, Hokage-san."


	8. Chapter 8

Hiya people. I love you all, have I told you that? I hope that you all come back to read this. I'm so busy. And yet I could have written this whenever I wanted to. I just didn't feel like it. Woo for that, eh? It was really hard to write this end part. If it makes no sense, well, oops.

C ':

* * *

Addicted - 8

"Go to the supper, stay home," Naruto debated. "Supper versus home. Food versus safety. I really like safety..." If he went to the supper, goodness only knows what terrible, Sasuke-induced troubles might befall him. Here, in the safety of his apartment (where he had hidden all of yesterday and most of today as well), there was no Sasuke. Not yet, anyway.

Sasuke was a good a ninja as he was, and he would admit to being the less focused one of the two. Although he'd grown up a bit from the blinding ball of energy he was when he was twelve, he was still blinding and still far too energetic, whereas Sasuke was calm, cool, and calculating. He was most of those c-words, actually. Callous, cold, cloyed, clever... What a discovery. Sasuke's character revolved around depressing words beginning in the letter C.

After thoughtfully scratching his chin, which, he still liked to notice to himself, had a little bit of a prickle to it, he continued his argument with himself. It's not like he didn't know how it was going to turn out.

"If I go to the supper, I'll have to be near Sasuke. And he'll probably try to rape me. Again. Then, if I stay home, he'll eventually decide to smash through a window, or maybe even the front door - to catch me off guard. In that case, he'd just rape me in my house. If I don't go to the supper, the old lady will kill me. And there are a lot of people who're going to be there that probably won't let Sasuke get me. Right? And food. There'll be a lot of free food. Probably food like ramen, just because the hag knows what I've had to go through lately."

Naruto smiled. Even if Sasuke jumped him, at least it wouldn't be at his apartment! And, really, being a ninja always involved doing things you didn't want to do and taking risks for the good of the team and the success of the mission. At present, he was the team, and the mission was what to eat for supper.

Just to make sure there wasn't any ramen left hanging around in the immediate area to change his mind, the boy went to his tiny chipped cupboards. One had a door that came right off with a little pop, and this was the ramen cache - when there was any. Bright blue eyes peered into the darkness. No ramen. Well, he was definitely going, then. Carefully, he fitted the hinge pieces of the door back into their other halves.

It was time to start psyching up for what he expected to be yet another chaotic episode. And how very chaotic it turned out to be.

* * *

Sasuke didn't know if he could go. It really wasn't a matter of whether or not he wanted to - he was just _so _tired. Especially after Kakashi had attacked him with D missions, which led to his passing out in a pile of soggy, rotting leaves. 

Sasuke hated being soggy, and he especially disliked smelling like rotting leaves.

He'd woken up, soggy and smelly, on his couch, alone and tired. Instead of getting grossed out and going into a cleaning frenzy, he just fell back asleep. Later on, he woke a second time, cleaned, and went for a shower. There, he fell asleep standing up, his head leaned against the white tiles and the grout digging into his forehead. He was lucky he didn't like baths, because he probably would have drowned in one.

Ever since...Well, for a long time now, Sasuke had been half-awake all the time, the exceptions being, of course, for when he was in contact with Naruto. And he really liked that fantastic boost of energy and happiness, and he really wanted more. However, Naruto was probably the most terrified he'd ever been, and it was of him. The spastic blond probably wouldn't let Sasuke get anywhere near him.

Then again, it _was _a supper. An imagined scene appeared in his mind. He tried to ignore imaginings of he and Naruto and hands under the table and Naruto's thigh and other things, and skipped straight to what he expected could happen.

Naruto wouldn't place himself right next to him, but he'd be just close enough that when Sasuke said, "Naruto, would you please pass the rice?" Naruto _would_, with his_ hands_. And all the Uchiha had to do was reach out, grab those hands, and try not to drop anything.

What a good plan. "Almost..." he yawned. "Almost perfect."

Maybe he'd have another nap or two before he went.

* * *

Three hours after the creation of the Almost Perfect Plan, Sasuke found himself seated at a very long table in the very long hall in the Hokage Tower. The table was only half-full (although Sasuke was NOT secretly an optimist very deep down inside) and it already seemed like it was going to be the most awkward dinner he'd ever attended. 

At the head of the table was Tsunade, the woman who had decided it would be a good idea to plan everything herself. She'd even made a seating plan, with little name cards and candies at every place. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten that Gai and Kurenai had taken their teams on a mission, and that all of Team 10 was visiting Chouji in the hospital. Down one side of the table, where Hinata, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Gai, and Lee should have been, was a giant gap between the hokage and those people down at the end. Namely, Neji, Tenten, and two cloud nin whose faces were statues of bored distain. Shino, Kiba, Kurenai, and Asuma's absences put those on the other side of the table so far away from her that nobody could hear anything she said. One of the first things she realized was that it probably would have been a good idea to position Gaara a little closer to her end of the hall. If Tsunade was seated at the head of the table, then the kazekage was presently seated at the butt of it. Which, if she thought about it, was actually pretty rude...

Naruto had arrived early to move his place from next to Sasuke to the other side of Kakashi and Iruka. He was on edge. He wondered where the food was, and why Tsunade had chosen such a long table. He wondered again what had possessed Gaara to marry that twit. The blond took time to chuckle at his own pun and inside joke - but not too loudly. He was sure that Sasuke was listening. He wondered most of all when Sasuke would finally try to pounce on him and whether or not Gaara's sand would be fast enough to save his virginity. Until that terrible moment, Naruto intended to continue cowering behind his sensei and former academy teacher.

Said sensei and former academy teacher were not talking, and it was really the only thing bothering Kakashi. Well, that and the fact that Iruka kept folding and unfolding his napkin viciously, every once in a while stopping to twist it into a death knot in both directions, and tug at it violently until it was wrinkle-free before starting the folded-unfolded-death knot cycle anew. The jounin couldn't help but assume that that napkin was symbolic of at least one part of his body. His partner had not taken the destruction of his aunt's sacred toothbrush glass well.

Gaara did not seem amused, but then again, Gaara's seeming amused usually meant something bad along with someone's impending doom. Neji didn't look too enthused either, but Tenten was obviously trying to make up for her boyfriend's indifference. Initially, it had been by attempting to make small talk with the cloud ninja next to her, but he glared her into backing off. Now she was exhibiting politeness with wide, slightly insane smiles and pleasant remarks like, "These tapestries are stunning, Hokage-sama!" and "How old did you say they were?" Unfortunately, the echo distorted almost every sound so severely that it was impossible to recognize any speech by the time it got down to Tsunade's end of the table.

"Welcome friends!" Tsunade greeted. "I am so pleased to be dining here with you tonight!"

Sasuke actually allowed himself to look confused as a wave of vowels washed over him. "A...a peas fight? Peas shining ear to flight?"

"No, Teme! She said dining! Pleased to be dining with us tonight! Perverted jerk!"

The Uchiha poked his head out past the crazy napkin frenzy and shot his prey an interested look, just as Naruto clapped his hands over his mouth (and most of his face, landing one finger in his eye) and pulled back to hide behind Kakashi.

Gaara nodded, making the motion bigger than usual for his isolated fellow leader.

"We are all so glad that you and your wife have come, Kazekage-sama!" she half-shouted.

When Naruto looked expectantly at him, Gaara nodded again.

* * *

Needless to say, everyone was very relieved when the soup came. Tsunade had almost given up conversation, and although the near silence was strained and uncomfortable, Tenten continued to grin widely at the group. Sometimes, someone would cough and "ahem" or maybe even sneeze, in response to which Kakashi placed a panicked - and pathogen-free - hand over his steaming tea. After the third or so cough and the first sneeze, the man declared the tea unfit for human consumption and tried to stop Iruka from drinking it, too. Which is incidentally what got them talking again. 

"Kakashi! What the he-" Iruka risked a glance at Konoha's guests. "There is _nothing wrong with this tea!"_

"You mean there _wasn't_! Ruka-chan-"

"Don't call me that in public!"

"- twenty thousand droplets are released with every sneeze or cough. Twenty_ thousand_, Iruka. Maybe you should think about that the next time you-"

"My aunt! Did you think about my aunt?! She practically raised me!" Iruka whispered frantically. "You killed that vase! The only thing I had left, and you _killed_ it!"

Kakashi's one eye gave him a confused look. "But...I thought it was a toothbrush glass."

Iruka stared incredulously. "What the hell do you mean, 'toothbrush glass'?"

"Oh, you know," the silver-haired ninja said good-naturedly. He could tell anyone about a toothbrush glass. "You use them hold your toothbrushes. Some people also put water in them so that they can swish it around in their mouths to get rid of the toothpase! And some people! Some people will leave that same water there over night and use it the next morning, too. It's actually quite funny - I used to do that when I was younger. Before I knew the dangers of putting any amount of still-standing water into my mouth."

"That isn't the point! That isn't the point at all!" Iruka exploded, before burrying his face in his hands and sighing deeply.

"Oh." Kakashi stared into his soup, which smelled great, but was an upsetting green-brown colour.

Naruto, on his other side, kept sneaking looks around the couple to check on Sasuke. So far, so good. Sakura was jabbering on and on, probably about nothing, and had a tight grip on Sasuke's sleeve. His other teammate looked completely out of it, which only encouraged the girl. The more she spoke, it seemed, the stranger the look on Sasuke's face became. His eyebrows started raising a lot, and he swayed a little on the spot. Naruto could only conclude that his molestor had finally completely lost it. Just as Naruto was coming to accept the fact that Sasuke wouldn't be much of a threat that evening, his dark eyes turned in his head and drilled creepily into Naruto's. Once again, the blond retreated, fixing his eyes on the table in front of him. Instead of eating his soup, he waited to see what Kakashi would do with his own.

Neji, on the other side of the table, was seeing things he had never seen before. Never having used the Byakuugan on soup, he felt almost silly. Still, he had to be sure. The veins and arteries around his eyes bulged, and what he saw almost made him gasp. He looked over to his girlfriend, wondering whether or not she had noticed what had passed between him and the soup. Tenten was smiling happily, talking about the weather as she had been for at least five minutes now, eyes wide and face aglow with genuine excitement. Every once in a while, she would make a terrible joke and rap her knuckles on the table in glee.

"Oh, oh, that's a knee-slapper!" she cried, oblivious to her soup and the reactions of everyone else. "Or should I say a table-knocker?" Rap, rap, rap.

The Hyuuga was fairly certain that Tenten had missed his staring contest with the soup. Sure, she was making a fool of herself, but he loved her just the same. In fact, he may have loved her because, despite how seriously and intelligently she could deal with things, she was just as socially inept as he was, in her own way. Before he got too caught up in the Rainbow World of Tenten and love and flowers, Neji was brought back to earth by the bubbling soup goop in front of him. He needed to alert the rest of the table, and fast. The soup had chakra! The soup itself! Soup should never have chakra, not in any place in the world ever. Everything in his bowl ('_everything!_' Neji cringed) was alive and well.

He worked on signalling to Gaara, the only one looking in his direction. The problem was that Gaara's face continued to be blank even after he'd mouthed the words "soup's alive" and Neji could not tell whether or not the kage had understood. Who else could he alert? Surely not Tenten. She would tell everyone immediately, cause panic. Who knew how the soup would react? When his teammate absently reached towards her bowl, he gently pushed it out of her reach, and then pushed her tea toward her instead. She took it and drank, oblivious and talking about the "good ol' days".

Kakashi had not yet touched his soup, but Naruto had decided that the stuff was probably all right. He dug in. It tasted a little off, but good enough to continue eating. Besides, he was hungry!

The jounin next to him had been staring off into space, had finally managed to zone out, when something caught his eye. It was Neji. He had zoned out while staring at Neji. He started mouthing an apology - he knew how weird it was to have someone stare you down like that - but stopped. The boy was trying to say something. The soup. Something about the soup. White eyes looked meaningfully at Kakashi, then down at the soup, then back to Kakashi. Neji pointed discreetly at the covered Sharingan.

Slowly, Kakashi lifted the band covering his eye. What he saw may have scarred him for life. Little things, microscopic things, were swimming around quickly in an organized push and pull. They were actually making the soup move. Dropping his leaf band back over his eye, Kakashi watched, horrified, as a little wave was created and moved across the surface. Then, a bubble formed gradually, building until it popped, and the soup pulled back into itself.

With a hand over where his mouth probably was, he cautiously slid the bowl away. Naruto suddenly caught his attention. Alarmed, Kakashi yanked the soup from his student, careful to keep the bowl pointing towards Naruto in case of a spill. No contamination-fearing ninja would risk touching something that disgusting.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?! You have your own soup!"

Kakshi swept his eyes around the room. Everyone was staring but Tenten, who was still telling some story about "the way things were," including Tsunade. Did he really have the heart to put down her efforts in front of, not only Tsunade, but some of the most highly respected ninjas of the village? In front of the kazekage? Granted, half of the people there would not be able to hear him anyway...

"Naruto...I don't think you should eat that- that soup."

The chunin raised an indignant eyebrow, having seen Sasuke's apparent infatuation with the soup. "You'll stop me from eating it, but what about Sasuke? Why not bother him about it?"

Kakashi spared a look in Sasuke's direction, saw that he was not touching his soup, and whipped back around to face Naruto. "He isn't eating his soup. He's... Well, he's-"

At that moment, drowsy Sasuke was leaning over, folding into himself, heading face-first towards the bubbling bowl of microscopic goodness. Kakashi's entire being was wrought with panic, and his first reaction happened to be the same as Naruto's.

Naruto suddenly realised what his friend was doing. He had to save him from the soup! Sasuke could drown!

The next few seconds were very long. As Kakashi leapt up and began pushing Iruka out of his way, Naruto was making his own Sasuke-saving attempt. He shot towards his teammate, smacking Kakashi in the face with one hand. This turned into a banging of elbows and shoulders. Kakashi fainted immediately, landing in Iruka's lap just as the chunin was beginning to stand up, hot tea having been splashed all over his front during the commotion. Kakashi's weight forced Iruka back into his chair which then tipped over sideways, dumping them both on to the floor. This made Iruka the closest conscious person to Sasuke thus far. Unfourtunately, he was still one of the people least aware of what was really going on.

During his collision with his sensei, Naruto was knocked off course, sliding down along the table, and across towards Neji. Tenten's soup spilled into her boyfriend's lap. Naruto slid to a stop. That was it. The end. Damn. He had been sure he was going to make it.

The entire table watched as Sasuke's head landed in his soup, making a soft "thap" sound.

Nobody moved.

And then: "Shit!"

"Sasuke's going to drown in his soup!"

"Get him out of there!"

"It's alive!"

Gaara was silent. He stirred his soup his finger, and then stuck it in his mouth.

Alive or not, he decided, it was actually pretty good.

* * *

What think you? Love me? Hate me? Do tell! 

Ehee.


	9. Chapter 9

Allo. Back. Again. Boy that was a long wait. Sorry lovelies! I'm lazy. Guess what! I broke my thumb a few months ago by slamming it in a car door. That's not an excuse, just an interesting thing that happened to me between when I last updated and now.

Also, this whole story omits the Orochimaru I GIVE YOU **POWAH**, SASUKE! thing, for those who asked. And I read over the beginning of this story and found a few inconsistancies, typos, and grammatical errors which I'll fix after I've finished the story. There are probably some in this chapter, too, but I got tired of looking at it.

Happy reading!

* * *

At first, Tsunade had been surprised and shocked by the terrible turn of events. A few minutes into Dinner Disaster Relief efforts, though, not so much. Really, what else had she expected? She knew all of these ninjas very well, and was thus very aware of their individual capacities for weirdness. Together, in one hall, it was natural that a fiasco of this sort would take place.

When the movement had stopped, and the shouting had started, Tsunade rushed to the other end of the table. Despite all the yelling about Sasuke drowning in the soup, and the soup eating his face, the hokage had to be the one to save him. Grabbing first his hair, and then the bowl, she fought against suction and popped his head out. The goop made a satisfied smacking sound, the brown bits of it settling back on to the bottom. All eyes turned to Sasuke's face, which was covered in green. Sleeping Sasuke's lips parted as he gave a tiny cough, sending a small glob of soup towards the floor, where Iruka's head was. The teacher, to tired and squished to bother moving, wrinkled his nose as it landed in his hair. Kakashi was still out cold on his chest.

"All right," Tsunade sighed. "I guess we'll skip dessert, then."

The silence that followed was interrupted by a slurping noise, as Gaara had brought his bowl to his lips, and was just now emptying it. After he was finished, he stood.

"Thank you for supper, Hokage-san. I liked the soup."

Tsunade shot a few embarrassed glances in the direction of the Cloud nin, and put on a strained smile. "I am very sorry about all of this. Thank you for coming, though. We really enjoyed your company, and I hope we will see more of you during your last few days here."

Gaara looked to the disgruntled Cloud nin. "Actually, Hokage-san, Umiko has expressed a wish to leave tomorrow morning. She is not as injured as we might have hoped."

One Cloud nin cleared his throat, and Gaara almost smiled. "Excuse me - as we had assumed. She is not as injured as we had assumed."

The hokage's smile became genuine, and she clapped her hands together. "Well, you're always welcome here. If you need anything tomorrow morning, don't hesitate to ask for it."

It really had been the most absurd evening.

* * *

After washing up as much as he could in the hospital room's bathroom sink, Iruka returned to the uncomfortable chair at Kakashi's bedside and the knitting he'd left there. The jounin was still unconscious, and lay in a pool of sunlight. His silver hair sparkled, soft and only a little greasy after these four days in bed. Iruka had been there to watch it get that way, regretting, worrying, and knitting the hours away.

What if Kakashi never woke up? What if the last thing they had done together was fight? After talking to Tsunade, though, Iruka felt better. Kakashi would wake up. It was only a matter of time. The man had been almost completely drained of chakra. The same had happened to Sasuke, who lay in a bed across the room. It was reassuring that they would both be okay after a lot of rest, but worriesome that no one could figure out how they had become so drained.

Iruka had spent the last three days living in the hospital, leaving the room for no longer than five minutes at a time, and as infreaquently as he could manage. He wanted to be there when his boyfriend opened his eyes, but Kakashi was tricky, and would probably pick the most oppertune moment to wake up.

For Iruka, this meant being constantly on his guard and rarely getting any sleep.

Naruto was taking a different approach. He had spent a lot of time in that room with Iruka over the past days, but bolted out of the room at any sign of a ramen craving. He was always bothering Tsunade about Sasuke, and running about the hospital, disturbing the other patients and driving the medic nin's insane.

It happened that that afternoon, three days after supper with Gaara, two days after the kazekage's departure, and about a minute after Iruka had gone for coffee, Kakashi woke up.

He was very confused at first. He didn't often wake up in hospitals. What was he doing there? He consciously checked his arms, legs, and torso for pain. The Copy Nin brough a hand up to stroke his masked chin thoughtfully. Today, at least, he was pain-free. He actually felt quite fine.

Sitting up, Kakashi noticed Sasuke's still form in the bed across from him. There was a chair pulled up next to each bed, and in the one closest to him lay a pair of knitting needles and a pile of yarn that could have been the beginning of a scarf. Probably Iruka's. He wondered where he'd left his porn. It had been in his pocket...

He quickly checked under the covers to make sure he was wearing all he'd come in with. Apparently, no one had dared slip him into a hospital gown while he was asleep. His pockets, however, were empty. Kakashi rolled around, rumpling the white sheets as he checked all of the places he usually hid his weapons and dirty books, and found that he wasn't carrying any of either.

Where did they usually put a patient's things? Some drawer somewhere, probably. It was in searching for this drawer that he came across his little yellow book, on a table too far away to reach. Well, he didn't have to have it right now, but it is important to know where these things are.

He thought back to supper. It looked like it couldn't have happened today, seeing as it was only the afternoon. Maybe that was yesterday, then. What had happened? Sasuke was falling into his soup. Kakashi dove in to save him, and Naruto came flying in and smacked him in the face. This was followed by a tingling sensation, and most likely, Kakashi's black out.

Huh. So Naruto had smacked him in the face. Kakashi grinned. Maybe he should have told somebody about his suspicions sooner. He'd tell Iruka when he got back. In the meantime, the jounin was determined to teach himself how to knit.

* * *

When Iruka returned with his coffee, Kakashi was sitting up in bed, ruining his scarf.

"Kakashi! I _knew _it!"

The silver-haired man looked up from his work. "Knew what? I didn't tell you anything. I didn't."

Iruka gave him a funny look. "I knew that you would wake up while I was...gone?" he dragged out suspisciously. "Wait, what didn't you tell me?"

Kakashi furrowed his brow. "What day is it today?"

"Maybe Wednesday. Or something. So what didn't you tell me?"

"I don't think I know what you're talking about," Kakashi said nonchalantly.

"Kakashi..." warned Iruka.

"I might not tell a person about it if that person still had issues with an accidentally broken toothbrush glass."

The chunin sighed. "I've forgiven you for killing my aunt's beautiful porcelaine vase, Kakashi. I'm sorry I got so upset. But you did humiliate me in front of the kids."

Kakashi threw the knitting back into the chair. "It's only retrospect and emotional attatchement that's making you think it was beautiful. Really, it was probably the most unattractive porcelaine vase you've ever seen."

"I'm going to assume that you mean you're sorry, too," Iruka said dryly.

A sigh and one smiling eye. "I do."

"Now what is it you wanted to tell me?"

"Well, it's about Naruto. And Sasuke. And me now, I suppose."

Iruka moved the knitting and sat down. "What do you mean?"

"Kakashi gazed out of the window on the other side of the room. "Well, it's a little strange. You remember How I told you about Hinata? What she saw on Naruto?"

Iruka nodded slowly. "Yeah. Vaguely."

"And surely you've noticed Sasuke's odd behaviour towards Naruto."

"Yes. Who hasn't?"

"And you know about what Naruto's excess of chakra right now, right?"

"Get to the point, Kakashi!"

"Okay, okay. I think the Kyuubi's chakra is replacing his natural chakra." Iruka was wide-eyed. Kakashi continued, "And that the fox's chakra, which seems to be stronger and different from our own, is all over the place. I think it's sort of 'eating' any regular chakra it comes into contact with, including Naruto's. And I think Sasuke's become addicted to the feeling of Kyuubi's chakra, which is easy to tap into with Naruto having all this excess right now."

Iruka seemed worried now, which wasn't surprising. "So that explains Sasuke's coma. What, exactly, explains yours?"

Kakashi gave him a blank look. "The Sharingan takes a lot of chakra already, and Naruto's hand smacked me in the face."

"So what did Tsunade say?"

"What?"

"You did tell her, Kakashi," Iruka said warily.

"Well, no."

"Have you told anyone other than me?"

"Well, no."

"So you just let Sasuke chase Naruto around like a madman for no reason?! You didn't tell anyone?!"

"Well..."

Iruka's eyes were dangerous. "Well, no?"

Kakashi chuckled nervously.

* * *

Naruto had just been returning from a ramen run when he heard the shouting. In his experience, his old teacher had always a very kind and tolerant person - shy, mild-mannered, and never openly hostile against any man, animal, or plant. Umino Iruka was often the very opposite of violent, despite his status as ninja academy sensei, and didn't believe in raising his voice. His face rarely coloured with anger, only with embarrassment, which he always took well, and he was chipper and bright, and one of few people Naruto knew of in the ninja world who was not often depressed (although there were days). He was a gentle, sweet soul who enjoyed spending Sundays picnicking with his boyfriend, and every other day teaching wild children ABC's and how to throw shuriken.

His former, prank-adoring student snorted into his cup of ramen. The mothers of Konoha had been lying to themselves determinedly for years, but even as Naruto thought on the image of Iruka that they'd burned into existence, he really couldn't see where they'd gotten it from. Iruka, while kind and gentle, was also a little high-strung, and downright frightening when he was pissed off. The only one who really ever saw Iruka's cute side was Kakashi, but, sadly, the man was also the only one who'd ever had to witness Irritated and Violent Iruka at Breaking Point - not once, but multiple times - and had managed to survive it.

In truth, Iruka was a complete and utter spaz, and seemed to stress out even Kakashi sometimes because of his completely unpredictable episodes during which he flew completely off the handle. Like now, for instance.

"You _knew_!" Iruka howled, face flushed with anything but embarrassment.

"Not on purpose!" Kakashi shouted desperately. Naruto couldn't help but snort again from the doorway, finding the Copy Ninja's quick switch from bored to panicked endlessly amusing.

"You knew and you didn't tell me? You didn't tell Tsunade? What the hell were you _thinking_?"

The jounin leapt from his hospital bed to escape the wrath of his partner, who, after putting down the knitting he'd been attending to while waiting for Kakashi to wake up, began approaching with a menacing glint in his eye. "I didn't mean to!"

"What do you mean you 'didn't mean to'?! This is _Naruto _we're talking about!"

"And Sasuke," Kakashi pointed out. "Don't let your favoritism get the best of you."

The chunin watching from the door winced at the words with which his team leader was digging his own grave and allowed his gaze to sweep over the reason he was at the hospital to begin with. A sleeping Sasuke was lying very still between the crisp white sheets of one of Konoha's hospital beds.

"My what? _Favortism_?"

"Uhm, I didn't mean it like that?"

"Kakashi! Get back into bed! And wipe that grin off your face right now!"

As Naruto stood observing his best friend, he also observed that his teachers needed more communication in their relationship. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and when there are no words, don't say them with exactly the emotion that you're feeling at the time.

"But you can't even see my face!"

"Don't give me that! I know it's there!"

Kakashi's grin might have grown.

"Didn't I tell you to get back into bed?"

"But I'm not tired."

Iruka scrunched his face up in anger. "Yes. You. Are. That's why you're in here!"

"I was in here because I wouldn't wake up. But I'm awake now, and really not tired at all, so you can leave if you want. Pass me my book on the way out," Kakashi stated calmly; his word choice for the rebuttal could have been a little more effective, but who was keeping track? He won this round, fair and square.

Then his one eye widened comically, and inevitably drew his blond student's attention back to the battle.

Iruka-sensei, the harmless and beautiful personality that he was, had just pulled the knitting needles from his half-finished scarf and was holding them like giant senbon. Probably deliberately.

"You want me," he said slowly, and maybe too calmly, "To pass you...your _porn?"_

Kakashi nodded with a conviction that wasn't there anymore.

This was all the answer Iruka needed, and with a horrifying cry of "WOUND!" the knitting needles were hurled at the space where Kakashi's head had been just moments before.

Naruto, empty cup of ramen rolling on the floor next to him, was laughing so hard he couldn't manage to stay upright and had to resort to leaning on the white hospital wall for support. He then slid, gasping for breath, down until he met the floor. This was where he stayed in absolute hysterics during the next few minutes as chunin chased jounin around the hospital, threatening bodily harm should the man continue to refuse to climb back into bed.

* * *

Even after everything had gotten to Tsunade, Naruto still wasn't sure what was going on. He had actually had a "very important talk" with Tsunade about Sasuke. No one had told him anything important, of course, only that he wasn't allowed to touch the boy anymore. Well, he was more than okay with that. The Uchiha had been acting like he'd gone insane and he wasn't sure what to think about him anymore. Could they still be friends if Sasuke was really and truly crazy? If he continued attacking him and falling into dead faints... Well, Naruto just wasn't too sure what was going to happen.

He thought it would probably make a lot more sense for everyone to simply tell him what was wrong with Sasuke. It's a little hard for a person to handle when said person's best friend suddenly goes batshit crazy.

The blond had returned to the hospital room, now empty except for he and Sasuke, as Kakashi and Iruka were having their own very important talk with the hokage. Naruto hovered over his unconscious friend. He wasn't supposed to touch him, so poking Sasuke in the face with his finger was out of the question. However, Tsunade had said nothing about touching Sasuke with a knitting needle.

When Sasuke woke up, there was something up his nose. It was cold and pointy, and wiggled around just inside his nostril. Someone was giggling. He knew that giggle.

Opening his eyes, he saw that he was in a hospital bed, and Naruto had stuck some pointy piece of metal up his nose. As soon as he figured out what was happening, he shot a hand out and pulled the thing out of his nose and out of Naruto's grasp.

"What-" Sasuke's voice cracked, so he cleared his throat and tried again. "What do you think you're doing?"

Naruto smiled widely. "Wow, Sasuke. If I had known that'd wake you up, I'd have stuck something up your nose earlier! How do you feel?"

Sasuke scowled, then considered. He felt a little off. "Tired," he replied.

The other seemed to think that this was funny. "I guess you're tired. Did you know you fell asleep at dinner the other day? Your face landed in the soup! You almost drowned! You're very lucky I saved you, you know that?"

"Actually," Kakashi remarked from the doorway, "That was Tsunade, according to the story I heard. Good to see you're awake Sasuke."

Sasuke nodded.

Kakashi gave Naruto an evaluating look. "I trust you remember what Tsunade told you, eh?"

The blond's smile lessened and his face became wary. "Yeah. I do." Don't touch Sasuke. Right. Got it.

"Good. I'm going to find Iruka, and we should be back in a few minutes to talk to you guys. It's very important that you not do anything," he looked to Sasuke, "That Tsunade wouldn't want you to do."

With that, Kakashi disappeared, and Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his friend. "What's going on?"

Naruto shrugged. "Old hag wants me to be more respectful and whatever," he lied easily. It seemed like Sasuke wasn't supposed to know about it yet. "You know, for me to control myself better. Nothing to do with you, really. Just me. Not even to do with me. It's all the old hag and her demands."

Sasuke sat up. Then he raised a hand, reaching for Naruto's tanned arm. In a split second, Naruto was halfway across the room, and out of his reach. Hmm. Interesting.

"I better go find some ramen. I'm starved!" Naruto laughed nervously. "You should probably get some more rest Sasuke." And then he was gone.

The Uchiha pulled back the covers of his hospital bed. He didn't know what day it was, and wasn't sure what all that had been about. It seemed that no one wanted him to know, which was odd. It wasn't often that things were kept secret from him and not from Naruto. Strange. It made him feel a little jealous, truth be told. And a little like the secret might have been about him.

* * *

There you have it, folks. Chapter 9. And the soup is just alive. It just is.

Thanks! I HEART REVIEWS!


	10. Chapter 10

Now that he had escaped from the hospital, Naruto was breathing more easily. Outside, all of Konoha sparkled, bright and colourful, under the afternoon sun. In direct contrast with it were the hospitals suffocating halls, dulled under florescent lighting, and stifling. He felt free again, like a burden had been lifted, and tripped down the street towards Ichiraku. He felt the sunlight seep into his skin, warming even the coolest, darkest places in his heart - the places afraid of his future, the places fearing the truth of his own identity, and fearing all the tension he now felt around his best friend. Uncertainty and confusion tainted his image of Sasuke now, but outside in the fresh air and heading out for an ordinary bowl of ramen, things seemed less complicated.

The blond boy hopped up to the ramen stand, taking in its familiar menu with relish, greedy for any sort of normalcy. Ayame, spotting him, quickly moved over to take his order. "No one paying for you today, Naruto?" she asked with a smile. She was one of his favorite acquaintances, because she never changed.

"Just me today! Smells great in here, though. I might be forced to fork over some cash!"

She gave him a look that said she doubted he could avoid it, especially now that he was sitting down and drooling over the menu. "So where's the rest of the gang today?"

Naruto choked a little on his saliva. "At the hospital," he chuckled nervously, "Where else?"

Concerned, Ayame leaned forward. "Nothing bad, I hope. What happened? Who is it?"

"Well," Naruto spread out his fingers, counting them off. "Kakashi's not gonna be out for a while, Iruka's gonna be there for as long as Kakashi is so he can keep him in line, Tsunade's probably still hanging around there, and I'll bet you anything Sakura and Ino are right there at Sasuke's bedside now that he's awake. As for what happened..."he trailed off, trying to find the best way to explain it. "Well, the long of it is long. The short of it is that, when Tsunade throws dinner parties, people die."

"Die?!"

The blond sighed. "Not really die. I was trying to be emphatic. It's more like people just end up in hospital for a few days."

Ayame rolled her eyes before looking at him expectantly. "So whaddya want?"

* * *

Kakashi was having the time of his life. Seated in the best wheelchair the hospital had to offer and sporting a grin that would make Naruto proud, he careened down the hallway and around a corner. It was almost like playing tag!

"Hatake Kakashi! When I catch you, you are DEAD!"

The jounin giggled. Well, death tag. That was one of the reasons he loved Iruka; the man was just so much fun!

"Kakashi, bring that kid's wheelchair back!" The pony-tailed teacher flew down the halls after him, not gaining any ground, but not losing any either. It was more apparent now than ever that Kakashi had an amazing amount of upper-body strength.

Kakashi turned his head slightly, "Tell her to come and get it!" O ho! Score one more for Never-Had-A-Childhood-Hatake!

Iruka was running out of words. He'd used all of his threatening ones, and his convincing ones, and even his pleading ones. Maybe there were some guilt-trips left. "You're being a bad role model!"

Wow. He shuddered to think about how stupid he sounded. Kakashi just laughed, and put on speed...noticeably. Which made Iruka feel that something very bad was about to happen.

The jounin was feeling good. Very good in fact. However, Main 3 was getting old - he'd already been around the floor at least twice - and they were coming up to an elevator. He thought about it for a moment, silver hair blowing in the breeze, before fixing his gaze upon the stairwell at the end of the hall, directly in front of him. Well, he was feeling very energetic what with all that rest. Actually, he felt like he'd had a whole lot of caffine. And the stairwell DID have a push door.

Suddenly Iruka understood. It was like he had been granted the power, for a mere half a second, to read minds. "No! No no! Don't you DARE!"

"Ahahahaha!"

The stairwell door flung open and down went Kakashi in the wheelchair - the best wheelchair the hospital had to offer - laughing all the way.

* * *

Having finished his ramen, Naruto had decided upon returning to the hospital. Sure, Sasuke was acting strangely - VERY strangely - but what kind of flake just left his best friend to suffer the boredom of the hospital alone? Let alone the agony of being visited constantly by girl after girl. Oh the horror! Certainly, someone would have to save him. And who else but Naruto? The Best Ninja Ever?

It wasn't always fun being a ninja. Sometimes people were killed. Or were forced to commit suicide. Or were captured, or defected, or were psychotic. Most of them had sanity issues, actually. Anyway, most of the time it wasn't fun. However, Naruto liked fun. Sometimes he was very aware of his amazingness as a ninja, particularly his ability to be sneaky. For one who wore orange, he was a very stealthy ninja. That thought alone was enough to bring a smile to his face and a tune to his lips. He began to whistle one of those good ol' familiar tunes that few people actually know the name of. Then he added words.

"Stealth...stealth. So sneakeh! Oh yes," he found himself whispering. "Stealllth, stealth. How is he...so sneakeh?!"

And so he sneaked and sang all the way back to the hospital, in through the front doors, and over to the elevator where he pushed the button and waited. "Ohhhhhh yes. It's 'cause he's sooooo sneakeh" he sang under his breath.

He tapped his toe in time to the beat of his theme song, growing impatient with the elevator shaft's inability to procure an elevator. Meanwhile, there was a lovely stairwell RIGHT next to him. Wasn't it a little shameful for such a sneaky, stealthy ninja to be sitting around, waiting for an elevator? Hadn't he already disgraced himself enough by using the door as a means to get into the building when it had always been covered in windows? And didn't he want to remain toned and in shape?

"Sneakeh..." The song died on his lips. Who would respect a fat ninja? Well, Chouji was sorta fat, but he made it work for him. Who would respect a fat Naruto?

The answer was immediately clear. Not even Naruto could respect himself if he was to lose his very sexy, very manly physique.

"Guess I should take the stairs..."

* * *

"Ahahahaha! You'll never catch me now!"  
Thunk-ity-thunk-ity-thunk-ity  
"Kakashi, this is a BAD idea!"

* * *

As he approached the stairwell door, Naruto could have sworn he heard a burst of maniacal laughter that was slightly familiar. Eager to walk off any weight issues, he didn't even hesitate before throwing the door open. Push doors were so convenient!

* * *

Kakashi rounded the corner expertly, passing the second floor with ease. He was actually handling the ride quite well, considering that he was still admitted to the hospital and was flying down a few flights of stairs in a wheelchair. He was going to make this last corner really count!

* * *

Naruto really couldn't believe his eyes as the opened door revealed a scene straight out of his worst nightmares. Out of the blue came Kakashi, bearing down on him, and there was little time for any sort of escape.

* * *

Somewhere, an elevator dinged.

* * *

"Quarantined?!" Naruto found himself shouting in disbelief.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Yes! Quarantined! Look at this mess!" She gesticulated angrily towards the busted wheelchair, the jounin sprawled out on the floor, and Iruka who was sitting against the wall with a twisted ankle.

"Hey, it's not like I was the nut who stole some girl's wheelchair and flung myself down a million flights of stairs!"

Tsunade had to acknowledge, to herself at least, that Naruto was right. She turned her wrath upon poor Kakashi, with a "You-!"

The blond boy perked up. "He's unconscious!"

The hokage leaned over and gave the man a tap with her foot. So he was. "Well, I think we should have him quarantined, then. And Sasuke."

Iruka couldn't help himself. He had to ask why.

"Because!" the woman bellowed. "I want to quarantine somebody, okay?!"

The hospital staff joined the two ninja seated on the floor in a questioning look.

"What?" she demanded.

Naruto looked pleadingly up at her. Then he whined. "I don't wanna be quarantined. It's not my fault two out of the ONLY three people in possession of the Sharingan attack me ALL THE TIME."

Tsunade rubbed at her eyes. This entire issue was getting to be so...well, she didn't want to think it, but seeing as she had little choice...it was just so tiresome. She could practically feel it aging her. Slowly, she turned her head to face the loveable little annoyance. "Yeah, yeah kid. You have a point. You really mean to tell me you didn't hear the freak coming?"

The student stared at her face. "Wait, which freak?"

"Kakashi! You didn't hear Kakashi and his, well, her wheelchair coming?"

Naruto gave her the most sarcastic glance he could manage. "Yeah, I heard him. Then I flung open the door and jumped into his lap."

"Thanks for that, brat." She found herself rubbing at her eyes again, and then stifling a yawn. This had to stop. Was this what old age felt like? It was only three o'clock, and she was already prepared to crawl back underneath the covers. Dealing with Naruto was, occasionally, even more painful than dealing with politics. "Well," she drawled tiredly, "You should just...stay out of trouble. Go eat some ramen, or something, away from the people you keep putting in the hospital."

Naruto found himself frowning and raising a hand to his blond locks. "But Sasuke just woke up. How many good friends do you think I have?" He realized how pitiful this sounded when Iruka looked up from rearranging his boyfriend's limbs long enough to shoot make concerned eye contact. So he changed tactics, adding a carefully crafted smile. "Besides, they've both really only been in for one visit each this time, so far."

Tsunade cocked an eyebrow, and she did not look amused. He stood up quickly, waving his hands to placate her. "That was a joke! I'm going to follow all the rules! Just after I go save Sasuke from the girls!"

Iruka hoisted himself up on his good leg and looked down - well, not down anymore, but it still felt like it - at his student. His little Naruto was growing into a man! But no cute thoughts; he had to be serious. "Naruto, you should put a little distance between you two." At the boy's contemplative look, he wondered whether or not he was being insensitive. "It's just that I think he really needs to recover. And I think you need some time to get your head together," he finished, his voice managing to sound very wise even to Tsunade.

Naruto knew immediately what Iruka meant by "getting his head together." Figuring out what Sasuke wanted from him really, that was a priority. But even harder to achieve than that was figuring out what he really wanted from Sasuke. It was just so confusing!

The hokage started waving her hand and him. "Off with you! You can see them all when they've gone home." Then she began snapping her fingers at the few medic nin lazing around in the barren hallway. "Why aren't these two being taken care of?"

In response, a small group gathered around Kakashi and checked him over before putting him on a stretcher and wheeling him back to the room he came from. One man approached Iruka who, after spending a minute or two swatting away hands and insisting that he was "fine," relented and allowed himself to be taken away as well.

"Wait." Tsunade stopped Naruto as he headed for the door. "What happened to Iruka?"

The boy looked thoughtful. "You know, I'm not sure. I think he was running after Kakashi, and-"

"Figures. Okay, now you can go home." The fatigued hokage began drifting further into the hospital, towards the elevators, before she stopped, back up several feet, and took a good look at the stairwell door. Maybe she should take a look. She had to wonder what the skid marks looked like.

Having watched her go, Naruto debated whether or not to try sneaking in to see Sasuke. The receptionist, whom he hadn't noticed earlier, was watching him warily. He sauntered over to her. "You know," he began, turning on the charm, "I have to wonder what a pretty girl like you is doing down here all alone."

She gave him a dry look. "I'm too old for you, kid."

Putting his hands on the counter, he peered over to look around at the things on her desk. "You're in league with the old hag, eh?"

The woman reached over and gave his hands a little slap before going back to work. "We're all in league with her. It's a conspiracy. Some people say she's the hokage," she quipped. Then she gave him a look that said quite plainly 'I'm watching you' and scuttled over to sit at another section of the desk.

Naruto sighed, turned himself around to face the doors, and rolled his eyes. It really was a conspiracy. Despite having a lot of respect for Tsunade, he couldn't help thinking that she was more than a little insane. "Quarantined!" he whispered in disbelief, just as the automatic doors opened in front of him.

That entire fiasco had lasted only a half hour, and he had no idea what he was going to do with the rest of the day. Usually he sparred with someone - usually that someone was Sasuke. Of course, he usually also had the option of sparring with Kakashi, or even Sakura, when she wasn't busy. Naturally, most of Konoha had to be in the hospital. What was he supposed to do? Spar with himself? That sort of practice, as one advanced as a ninja, became more and more useless. How was he supposed to surprise himself? In the end, against anyone, it was the element of surprise that made one successful, or terrible.

Maybe he'd go home. And eat more ramen. His stomach rumbled at the thought, but then he remembered what he'd been thinking just prior to the collision with Kakashi. Naruto looked sternly down at his stomach. 'Behave,' he thought. 'We just ate. Lots. And if we keep eating, you'll get big and we won't be nearly as sexy as we are now.' After that mental chastising, his insides seemed to be sobered. He felt the need to offer it some kind of reward.

"And," he added aloud, gazing down upon his abdominal region, "tomorrow you can have whatever you want for lunch!"

A passerby shot him an odd look, and, finally taking note of the fairly busy street that he was stopped in, he decided to brainstorm back in his appartement where there was no one around to mind when he chatted with various body parts.

* * *

Back at the hospital, Sasuke was feigning sleep. Sakura and Ino, after cooing for a moment or two over how adorable he was when he slept like that and wondering aloud how long it would take him to get feeling better, left him in peace. He heard their chatter fade away as they entered the hall, and then their exclamations of surprise.

"What happened?! Iruka, is he okay?"

So it was Kakashi, obviously. Probably injured. Which meant they were bringing him back into his room, probably to tuck him back into bed. Which meant there was little time left and he had to act quickly.

Making as little noise as possible, the Uchiha slid out of bed and left a flimsy clone in his place. It was no Kage Bunshin, but it just barely held up the sheets. That was all he needed. Along the floor he went until he reached the window. He gently pulled it open, threw himself gracefully out of it and closed it after him. A moment later, he could hear them moving Kakashi back into his bed.

Now that his escape was made, it was only a matter of time before someone figured it out. Given that this was a hospital filled with ninja, his time was very limited indeed.

* * *

Naruto was at home, desperately trying to "get his head together." He just had this feeling...like he had to have a plan of action. He needed to figure things out. So that's what he was trying to do. Sasuke was being all...aggressive. And...well, flirty. That was the biggest thing throwing him off. He was always the flirty one! What business did Sasuke have, molesting him and flirting with him? He was the king of put-people-on-edge flirtation. It made them uncomfortable, and touching certainly added a bonus to their reactions.

Maybe that was what Sasuke was trying to do. Make him uncomfortable...put him on edge. It was definitely working. That one day...when the dark-haired boy had ended up on top of him...well, he hadn't even really been sure which way was up.

How would he respond when Sasuke did it again? He just knew that it would happen. That kid wasn't acting strangely without reason, and he didn't think it was a simple chakra imbalence. When those black eyes looked into his...there was a fire in them.

Just thinking about it made him jumpy.

With that thought in mind, Sasuke's imaginary gaze searing into his skin, he got up from his seat at the small table and locked the door. Then he checked the windows throughout his house. The only open one nearly gave him a heart attack he was so anxious, and after shutting it he had to giggle. What was he afraid of? Sasuke was in the hospital, and boy, if he did show...

"I'd show him a taste of his own medicine. Nobody messes with Uzumaki Naruto." He felt secure, having made some decision.

But then there was a voice from behind him. "Is that so, usuratonkachi?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Oh yes. What's this? Another update? And it has only been a month?! I know. It shocked me too. You should check it out.**

Note: anoretic is the word I was looking for when I wrote it in some chapter that is not this one. It was more acurate than anorexic for the situation.

And yes, I will admit that this chapter is shorter than most. Then again, I am shorter than most, as well. We are perfect for each other!

* * *

Caught off-guard, his senses were suddenly hightened. Naruto focused his gaze on the wall across from him - built into it were his few cupboards and his counter and sink. He steeled himself. He took a deep breath. His thoughts flitted to the glasses in the cupboards, as well as his sudden, inexplicable thirst. After a line like that one, spoken aloud, he had to turn around and face the music like a man. How could anyone even begin to deal with this sort of situation?

Another breath. Focus on the wall, on the cupboards. Look straight ahead.

Turn around.

He started the movement in his shoulders and tried to summon some shinobi courage, but he was stilled by a firm, cool hand on the side of his neck.

"Think, dobe, before you do something stupid."

Instinctively, the blond repeated his friend's words. "Think?"

In that confused moment, there was nothing to fall back on but Sasuke's voice. Scrambled, half-formed words and ideas pulled his attention in all sorts of directions as the Uchiha's slightly calloused thumb stroked the skin beneath his ear. Abruptly, he was struck by the darkness of his apartment. When had the sun begun to set? Or had it gone behind a cloud? Or were the blinds closed? He couldn't quite recall. He knew the windows were locked. Why had be been checking that again?

The sound of rumpling fabric was loud as Sasuke bent his lips to the shorter boy's ear. "Yes," he half-whispered, voice gruff. "Think."

Naruto couldn't think. Sasuke hadn't moved his mouth, and that hot breath made him shiver and squirm. He felt light-headed. The hand on his neck had stopped its movement, having settled, instead, into a possessive about the side of his throat. The Uchiha was right: Naruto needed to think, and he needed to do it as soon as possible so that the situation didn't get out of hand, as all situations were tending to lately. There was another gentle, scalding caress of his ear. Maybe, once he had forced Sasuke out of his home, and on his merry way back to the hospital, Naruto would be able to get some water. He was feeling so very dry, and a little too warm.

How? How does one get rid of a persistent Sasuke? Well, he wasn't too sure what he was going to do, but he did know he had to get away from that seductive voice, from that hot breath, from the tingling sensations he felt so deeply.

With the dexterity of a ninja cornered, the blond flew from that sinfully delicious hold, turning to face the intruder with the bravest gaze he could hold. The place where Sasuke's hand had been was left feel cold and bare.

What to say? Looking at his friend in the dim light, he found him to be more attractive than ever. The white glow of the window emphasized the dichotomy of his features: the beauteous, delicately pale skin of his face, nearly translucent, framed by inky-black hair. He was a vision so otherworldly that, for a brief moment, Naruto actually gaped. It was, however, one very brief moment among a sea of other moments that would make up their encounter. There was no way he could predict the outcome of this particular occurrence.

* * *

"What are you doing here, Teme?" came the uncharacteristically calm voice. And it took that many words, that many glances, for Sasuke to know exactly what kind of game they were playing.

So, he decided, he would play.

"You know why I'm here," Sasuke replied. "I know you aren't that stupid." He watched as Naruto's eyes, focused so intently on his own, narrowed in response. The ferocity of the dobe's defense was surprising, as was his confidence.

Oh how Sasuke was starting to wish Naruto would 'show him a taste of his own medicine'. Not because he was attracted to him, and not because the dark-haired chuunin had finally been faced with his long-dormant homosexual urges.

He just knew that it would feel so good. Better than anything else ever could. He just knew.

Happily, Naruto seemed to bend to his will. With a calculating stare, the blond caught his wrist in a commanding grip, those long, tanned fingers snaking around his own cool skin. It was warm, and already he was feeling that rush. He couldn't help but observe, as he was led to the kitchen table, that they were very close to holding hands. Of course, it was good that they weren't. Whatever they were, whatever they would be, they would never be _that_, Sasuke was certain.

"Sasuke, we need to talk," he declared, settling himself into a chair.

Talking was not what Sasuke had had planned, but he could deal with it. "Fine." He would stand, thank you.

Naruto's eyes were fixed again on his. "Frankly, Teme, I don't know if I can trust you anymore." The slightest of sighs followed the admission.

This, Sasuke observed, seemed to upset his friend. He understood that there needed to be trust between teammates, while on missions and in danger. It was important in a world like theirs, in which people betrayed one another, and enemies could take on the shape of any friend. How did one even know who to trust to begin with? When it was safe to trust? He didn't know how he was supposed to respond, so he didn't say anything.

"I don't know what's going on," Naruto said with a bitter smile. "You know how nobody ever tells me anything."

With that, Sasuke had to chuckle. He relaxed a little, pulling out a chair himself. Maybe he would sit after all. But he would not drop his guard.

"You know as well as I do why no one tells you anything, idiot."

* * *

Naruto found himself laughing along with him. "Yeah. Yeah, I have to say I do. The old hag thinks I'm loud-"

"I wonder why that is," Sasuke interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

"-and that I've got too much energy-"

"You do.

"-and that I'll get excited and start yelling about stuff-"

"Which happens every time."

"-and then everyone'll know," the blond finished with a grin.

Sasuke was sporting one himself, but it quickly vanished. Naruto forced his away, as well, heaving an annoyed sigh.

"What do you want from me, Sasuke?!" he finally cried.

An awkward silence followed. Naruto had expected some sort of reply, some explanation. For what seemed like minutes, there was nothing. No movement from either of them, and no speech. Sasuke didn't seem to be considering what he'd said. He simply sat, eyes dark and unreadable, waiting for something. It went on for so long that the orange-clad boy wondered whether or not to restate his one truly assertive question. Would it get him answers? Or would his teammate just scoff? His blood heated at the thought. He would not be dismissed. He would _make_ Sasuke see and respect him. He would force him into submission.

* * *

When that long and painful wait ended, it ended loudly, echoing against the bare walls of the apartment. Sasuke stood, deliberately knocking the cheap wooden chair to the floor, and strode over to his friend. He bent over him so that their faces were close and nearly at the same height.

"Naruto," he growled, savouring the dobe's shock at the use of his name. "What do _you_ want, Usuratonkachi?"

A fire ignited in those cerulean eyes, and Naruto grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. In one fluid motion, he pulled Sasuke even closer, and the pale boy had to brace himself against the table in order to remain standing. He didn't resist – this was exactly what he wanted.

Naruto glowered at him. "Say that again, Teme."

Sasuke glared back, a challenge in his words: "What do you want..." he drawled mockingly.

The hand at his collar tightened.

"...Usuratonkatchi."

Naruto clenched his jaw, and smirked back at him. He then yanked Sasuke's ear to his mouth, and the dark-haired chuunin felt the tables turn with that menacing whisper.

"I want you."

* * *

After Kakashi had been returned to bed, the hospital had been quiet. The trouble trouble-makers were either comatose or at home, which meant rest and relaxation for the staff. Tsunade had returned to her office over at the hokage tower and was happily playing a game of solitaire. Whenever she found herself losing, as she often did, she found a way to cheat through her problems to avoid having to shuffle and re-deal the cards. She did, of course, do this inconspicuously so that, had someone been watching, that person would not have percieved her dishonest tendancies.

As the sky clouded over outside, the light within her office dimmed. The hokage then searched around for her lamp, hoping to avoid straining her eyes.

She had laid the cards out over a tablecloth of paperwork. Unfortunately, cards would occasionally slide underneath requests and signatures, and fishing around for them caused even greater problems, and a general feeling of unrest among the cards. Feeling particularly unmotivated that late afternoon, she left them there. As she continued her games, the deck shrunk progressively until it was very hard to make any kind of legitimate progress whatsoever. She would eventually give up and begin a nap.

It seemed to take very little time for Iruka to sense the napping occurring within her office. The door was opened by Shizune who appeared to be displeased with Tsunade's state of extreme relaxation, and Iruka followed her in, speaking very loudly. She couldn't really follow what he was talking about. She was that the words he was speaking made sense to him, but once they reached her ears it was all gibberish.

The older woman raised a hand to her head in reaction to the sudden noise. "Iruka," she said in a warning voice. "If you don't calm down and stop ranting this second, my head is going to explode."

The teacher did as he was told, seating himself with a distressed expression. Given the moment of silence, Tsunade took a deep breath, before nodding to her assistant. Yes, she affirmed mentally. I will get on that paperwork.

Satisfied, Shizune retreated.

"Right then." The hokage turned her attention back to the panicked academy sensei. "What's wrong, Iruka? Tell me slowly this time."

The man squirmed a little. "Sasuke's gone."

* * *

It was better than he had imagined. There was this fantastic combination of Naruto's perfect skin, soft hair, and eager lips, and the explosion of feeling that was his chakra. Later, the clearest memory Sasuke would have of the aggressive experience would be of a select few sensations: that slick tongue that dominated his mouth, the confusion induced by the chakra high, and the smoothness he encountered as he slipped a hand up the back of Naruto's shirt.

Hands were in each others' hair, or gripping a shoulder, or pushing and pulling in a battle for control. Currently, the blond had him pinned on the tabletop, panting, his back digging uncomfortably into its edge. Naruto loomed over him. For that moment, they were more separate than they had been during the entire encounter. Sasuke could look into his face.

In the shadows, Naruto seemed less innocent than he had before. Less human, too. There was a wildness about him, this animalistic quality that the Uchiha couldn't quite place.

It didn't matter. He didn't have much time to think about it.

The moment did not last long, and soon Naruto's body held him prisoner. With on knee up on the surprisingly sturdy table, the dobe brought them even closer. Giving in for the briefest of seconds, he allowed him a deep, domineering kiss. Then, Sasuke forced his way free. He pushed the smaller boy off of him, and they landed hard on the floor, a mass of legs and arms and voracious mouths.

Once on top, Sasuke resumed their make-out session, leaving bruising kisses and bites wherever he felt brave enough to venture. Naruto fought back with equal vigor, his hand shooting out to connect with Sasuke's shoulder and reverse their positions again.

It was, in the dark-haired boy's opinion, the best sparring match they had ever engaged in.

* * *

Naruto was getting warmer and warmer as time passed. With Sasuke's mouth burning his skin, there was no way to escape the heat. He couldn't remember what had possessed him to instigate their passionate embrace. All he knew was now. He vaguely remembered an order to avoid touching the boy at all costs, but it was quickly losing any power it had once had over him. Everything that had happened in the past week or two was dwarfed in comparison with the immensity of this one struggle.

The fever of their bodies was contrasted acutely with the cold linoleum floor, that Naruto knew. They were in the dark. They were together.

It felt like he had been waiting for this his entire life, like every moment of their rivalry had been building to this apogee. This intense sexual attraction would explain that sweet tension that had coloured their encounters since their genin days. Now that they were together like this, he knew that this had been something he had wanted all along. He was unsure why he had spent so much time running from it.

He didn't know what he felt, exactly. He felt empowered. He felt angry and fierce, but also triumphant and exhilarated. He felt Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, all over. Sasuke's hands against his skin, underneath his shirt. Sasuke's tongue, drawing warm paths across his neck, or over his lips, or his teeth firmly grabbing hold of an earlobe. Then there was also Sasuke's thumb, dipping slightly below his boxers and tracing patterns around his hip. He was everywhere at once.

But then he felt Sasuke flagging, giving up maybe, and relenting. Without missing a beat, Naruto controlled their situation. At once, he had a tight grip on a head of black hair, and his lips on heated pale flesh. It was all about them.

It was all about now, and he couldn't see anything ruining this.

* * *

Iruka knew that Sasuke could be in only one place, and while Tsunade agreed, she didn't want to leave anything to chance.

Instead of trying to force the teacher to go with the others to check out the Uchiha complex, the hokage allowed him to lead the way to Naruto's apartment. She could definitely empathize with the strung-out chuunin.

When they arrived at Naruto's place, they came in through the door. Iruka hadn't knocked, had simply swung the thing open, and they met with a darkened room. On the floor, she could make out two figures, one on top of another. Her cohort wasted little time, crossing the room in a quick, determined strides. As she flicked on the light, she caught the severe curve of his lips.

Naruto's wide eyes took in her presence before focusing on his former sensei.

Tsunade ran to Iruka's side, but it was too late. With one smooth tug, he drew them apart. Sasuke's body went limp.

Before the man could do any more damage, she put herself in between he and Naruto.

"I told you not to touch him!" she shouted. "I told you!"

The brat looked up at her, confused. She watched as he took in the situation, his eyes filling with hurt and rage.

"You never tell me anything! What's wrong with him?"

He grabbed his friend's hand, trying to pull them closer, and Sasuke gasped, opening his eyes. Iruka tore them apart again, severing their connection, and the Uchiha seemed to collapse once more.

"I told you not to touch him, Naruto!" She hurried forward, pushing Iruka out of her way. Tsunade placed one hand on Sasuke's chest, and one next to his mouth. The boy's breaths were very weak, almost non-existent. Upon checking his pulse, she found the same thing. It was fluttery and barely there.

"What's wrong with him?! Why won't anyone tell me?!" Tears of fear and anger trailed down Naruto's cheeks.

Sasuke was almost dead. Pulling the boy into her arms, Tsunade made for a quick exit, leaving Iruka with instructions to take care of the brat.

That was how Iruka was left to pick up the pieces.


	12. Chapter 12

**I am so tired it's not even funny. I need to sleep. Why did I do this tonight? Probably 'cause I knew I wouldn't do it tomorrow.  
**

In other news, a former best friend of mine got hit by a car while crossing the street a few nights ago. If you are religious, I would like to ask if you'd pray a little prayer for Chris. He's in a coma with significant brain damage, and might die if they don't the swelling down. Thanks in advance for any kindness you show on his behalf -** I really appreciate it.**

* * *

They say at Naruto's kitchen table, in the combined light of a late, cloudy afternoon, and a hundred Watt bulb. The teenager was seated across from his former sensei, exactly where he had been plopped down three quarters of an hour before, and was sipping some tea Iruka had prepared in an effort to calm him down and shut him up. An anxious Naruto was much more grating than a pacified Naruto, and, given Tsunade's dramatic entrance, Sasuke's speedy exit, and Naruto's heartbreaking pleas, the anxiety was rather understandable. Iruka's hands shook as he poured himself another cup - the anxiety seemed to be rubbing off.

"So _what's_ going on again?!" A little bit of tea jerked out of the pot and sloshed on to the table.

The kid had always asked too many questions, which, ironically, led to far fewer answers than one might think. Naruto's often irritating tendency to ask so many questions resulted in a reluctance to tell him anything at all. In addition to the incessant questions, Naruto had subconsciously decided to systematically remove all the paint on his mug with his thumbnail, making the most awful scraping and screeching.

Iruka heaved a tired sigh. To be fair, the entire situation was so odd, so unheard of, that he could understand where the boy was coming from. Despite all of his teacherly patience and his fatherly (motherly?) feelings, however, he could not help but wish that Naruto would grow out of his irritating habits. Why on Earth was he always so confused?!

"And _why_ did everyone decide it was a good idea not to tell me?" the blond prompted, eyebrows screwed up in frustration, gaze boring into Iruka's soul.

Of course, the sensei reasoned, it could be that Naruto was merely a product of his environment. The fact that nobody ever _did_ tell him anything probably contributed to his excessively confused state.

"Well," the older man began, "your chakra is probably in the process of being destroyed and replaced by Kyuubi's chakra-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know! What about-"

"-and although it would seem to be the result of a weakening seal," Iruka muscled through, "We're pretty sure that's not even an issue."

"Not that, Iruka-sensei! Look, just tell me why-" Naruto began in his characteristically loud voice.

"Kyuubi's chakra is just pouring off of you, and it's killing off not only your chakra, but that of others as well." It wasn't that he enjoyed interrupting his former student, it was just that he had such a headache over the entire mess and really wished he wouldn't have to hear the same question fifty times. If he cut him off, it would be more like hearing it a stunningly infinitesimal twenty-five times.

"But how-"

"Kyuubi's chakra is kind of like a cannibal."

"What's that gonna-"

"We don't know. Nobody knows. I don't think that this has ever happened before."

"Why just Sasuke and Kakash-"

"The Sharingan takes a lot out of them.

"And is Sasuke-"

"I'm fairly certain that Sasuke will live, all right?"

"And I can't-"

"No, I'm not letting you go over there until Tsunade's revived him, got it?"

As Iruka was steeling himself for another question, silence washed over them rather abruptly. Across the table, his former student rested his forehead in the palm of his hand, arm propped up against the wooden surface. After Tsunade had left with Sasuke, the dark-haired chunnin had turned on some lights and righted the furniture displaced during the...scuffle. He didn't want to think about it; he really, really did not want to think about Sasuke and Naruto doing goodness knows what in the darkness of Naruto's apartment on goodness only knows which surfaces. He was glad that Naruto had come to him when he was uncertain about his feelings, but even that had left Umino-sensei with a blush that could light up the room.

"Iruka, you're blushing again," the blond observed calmly.

And darn it if he wasn't! "Yes, Naruto. I suppose I am."

Naruto managed to grin widely. "I don't see what you're so embarrassed about. You and Kakashi do it all the time!"

Iruka's eyes went wide. "Naruto!" he squeaked. "You didn't!" He couldn't bare it. His little Naruto...That Sasuke! Sasuke the sex fiend! He should be locked up! He'd defiled poor little, defenseless Naruto! They probably didn't even use protection. Iruka hadn't had a chance to really talk with him about protection. It was almost definitely his first time! He wouldn't know any better. He had probably contracted several STDs over the course of the day! A sex fiend like Sasuke would almost definitely have had many previous partners!

Iruka would have yelled all this, or made a big show of standing up to preach against underage, unprotected sex. He would have thrown himself across the table and counseled him through the entire post-traumatic experience. He would have done this, had his face not been so red, and had he been able to make any noise at all apart from a slight, high-pitched humming that he issued somewhat erratically through his nose.

* * *

Admittedly, it took a little longer than it normally did for comprehension to dawn on the fair-haired chunnin. Immediately after Iruka's exclamation, the teenager found himself staring, slack-jawed, at a man barely recognizable under all those layers of panic. His next reaction was to scan their surroundings with his eyelids peeled right back, his pupils contracted to black pinpricks, trying to find the source of the problem. When the humming noises started soon after, however, Naruto was beginning to get an idea of what it was about, and was quickly on the defensive.

"Iruka-sensei! I did _not_-... Well, I didn't do _that!"_ His throat constricted, and he felt his face grow warm as he stood up, both literally and figuratively, for his virtue. "We-" Oops! Wrong word! Sasuke was a total sex-fiend. "_I_ would never-" he corrected. "I mean, I don't even really know what you'd-... I mean, I just didn't, okay? We didn't. Nothing happen, I _swear_!"

There wasn't much of a reaction from the dark-haired man across the table. Well, unless one counted the cessation of that – very nervous – humming noise. Naruto hoped that that meant that he was getting somewhere. He forced a little chuckle, and joked, "No way I'm letting Sasuke steal my virginity."

Something about Iruka's expression suggested that he didn't find the joke funny, or even any good at relieving the tension in the atmosphere.

"Nothing happened, eh? Naruto, when we came in, you two were- Well, you two were on the floor, and-!" At a loss for words, the man sighed wearily and dropped his weary head into his palms. "Fine," came the muffled voice. "I will say I believe you on the condition that you promise to stop asking questions, and that you swear to me that you will use condoms next time."

Scandalized, the boy drew in a gasp. "But-!"

"Please," Iruka drawled, "Just do it, okay?"

Hiding his own eyes in his complete humiliation, Naruto muttered an "I promise."

Silence prevailed for several seconds before the blond lifted his head. "So, how do you even know that Sasuke's-"

"Naruto! You swore there would be no more questions!" he quipped. "And I already answered that one. You and I both know that, if things were serious, Kakashi would have come and gone already. You know how quick he can be."

At that, Naruto gave him a funny look. "I put him in the hospital. I'm responsible for two of his comas. Isn't he still in there?"

Sipping his tea with a still slightly shaky hand, Iruka paused before replying, "Yeah, that's what I mean. He'd be one of the first to know, and he'd be over in a flash. They know where we are."

"No, no." Naruto insisted. "I thought he was still _in_ the hospital!"

Umino-sensei screwed up his eyebrows in confusion. Then, it seemed to dawn on him. "Oh! Yeah, he's in the hospital, but he's pretty much fully recovered."

"Then why," the student wondered aloud, "Is he still in the hospital?"

Pouring them each another cup, Iruka allowed himself a very small grin. "Kakashi's a felon. We decided that Konoha, as well as the rest of the continent, was safer with him behind... I guess they don't have bars at the hospital, but you know what I mean. Behind those separator curtains in hospital rooms, strapped to the electronic bed."

"What'd he do now? And how do you even know he could get free in time to warn us that Sasuke was dying?!"

Iruka's eyes flashed. "I told you: no more questions." The stern message was ruined when he coughed a bit of a laugh. "Anyway," he continued. "He woke up really quickly this time – Tsunade's learning how to purge people of the Kyuubi's chakra sooner. You got a pretty good view of the end of his joyride, didn't you? He completely destroyed that poor girl's wheelchair. He needed to be...quarantined."

Naruto felt a nearly immediate rush of empathy at the word.

* * *

Strapped into his – rather hard – hospital bed, Kakashi had been musing about the all the pros and cons of a relatively mission-free lifestyle. It was really something to be able to hang about and cause trouble whenever he felt so inclined. Having caused lots of trouble very recently, he imagined that he could identify with everyone's favorite pest on a much deeper level. Thinking back, some of Naruto's latest escapades had been rather brilliant, and his current mess was pretty hilarious. As he stretched against the restraints to try to reach his porn, he couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. He'd always found both Sasuke and Naruto amusing, and, as of late, found that he felt significant glee whenever he thought about them at the same time. The fact that the two horny teenagers couldn't touch each other without one of them falling into a coma was pretty priceless, he thought.

A frown clouded his features, very briefly, when the little orange book that had been sitting on his bedside table gave a suicide leap and went "thump" on the floor. Peering out the door and into the hallway, and cursing the fact that they had left his curtain open _again_ (couldn't a guy get some privacy around here?), the jounin ripped his way out of the left side of his restraints, fished around on the ground with his hand, and came up victorious. He had then been returning the straps to their positions and feigning innocence.

That was just about the time that Sasuke had been wheeled in on a gurney, transferred to his hospital bed, and tucked in with some of his own restraints. Kakashi's eye moved to Tsunade, who was making sure everything was nice and tight.

"Why are you doing that?" he asked in his classically bored, trademark tone. "You know everyone you strap in can pop out with any rudimentary replacement jutsu."

Tsunade gave him a tired glare. "It makes me feel better when people are strapped in, okay?" Her voice was harsh and gravelly, so Kakashi just gave a shrug and picked up his book.

Once Tsunade had left the room, he lowered his reading material. Apparently, Sasuke had gotten a hold of Naruto again. His eyes zeroed in on a pinkish bruise marring the boy's pale neck, and the jounin smiled devilishly beneath his mask. Or maybe Naruto had finally gotten a hold of Sasuke? Oh, it was just too good to be true. He'd have to ask Iruka about it later – it seemed like it would be a good story. Chuckling to himself, Kakashi flipped through his most prized possession, and then closed it when it seemed that he couldn't concentrate on that sort of porn at the moment. Instead, he swung over to the table again, this time returning with Iruka's ball of yarn. It was a very calming tactical stimulus to have while he daydreamed. As he unraveled it, he thought of all of the possible situations that might have taken place, and imagined all of the delightfully cruel ways in which he could bring the hickey up in casual conversation as soon as possible.

It really was satisfying to be on this vacation-of-sorts. The lull in activity had filled with all sorts of interesting issues!

* * *

Tsunade could not believe the way the day had gone. All she had wanted was a great game of solitaire, and maybe a small nap. Okay, so her games of solitaire had a history of being really awful, boring, lose-lose endeavours – she had really been looking forward to that nap. Stupid Sasuke, escaping, then needing rescue, then needing medical care. Could he not stay either unconscious or conscious somewhat consistently? Could he not just pick one and go with it? And Naruto! Stupid Naruto would have to do the very thing she had expressly told him not to do.

And that awful mental image! Moronic teenagers, mauling each other on the floor. She had not needed to see that – their hormone-ridden bodies moving together in a sickeningly sensual dance in Naruto's kitchen, looking almost like they were-

And maybe they were!

Ew. Too much information. Too much thought about that information. If only she could clear her mind, totally rid it of that, and any related knowledge. Meditation might have helped, except that she had that highly sexual image burned into her retinas and did not want to risk closing her eyes for any long period of time.

Which meant no nap. Damned teenagers!

* * *

When he left, Iruka imparted a few words of advice:

"Now, you can't go over there right now. Nobody will let you in. What I think you should do, is go to sleep. I know it's early, but it's pretty dark already, and you've had a big-" Iruka stopped himself, blushing. "I mean, you've had an exciting-" He cut of again, this time clearing his throat before continuing. "It's been quite the day. I don't want to hear about you trying to break into the hospital, or anything of the like."

"I could totally do it. _'Try,'_" Naruto mocked, obviously having recovered fairly well from the events of the day. "A superior ninja like me does not 'try.' 'Do or do not,'" he recited. "There _is no-_"

"There is no try, I know, I know. Just don't do it. I mean it." Iruka finished putting away the washed mugs, and the rest of the dishes he'd done while he was over. Then, he gave Naruto a quick pat on the back, thankful that he could be on his way, but still worried about one of his favorite kids.

At the door, he gave a little wave before swinging it open and calling his parting words across the room: "And for hevean's sake, Naruto, use a _condom_ next time! Thank goodness your male, or we'd be worried about a pregnancy."

And the door swung shut.

Rolling his eyes, the blond shook his head. He still couldn't believe that Iruka-sensei had thought that – _did _think that! How awful. At least, he consoled himself, Iruka wasn't the type to go telling people about it. As he settled back into his seat at the kitchen table, he felt his stomach give an uncomfortable twist. Kakashi was very much the type of person to go telling people about it, and Iruka would almost definitely spill the beans sooner or later.

He let his head drop, and it hit the grainy surface with a resounding "smack." Then he let out a groan. Maybe he'd eventually get used to the all-encompassing embarrassment. Maybe he'd eventually get used to the completely altered relationship he and Sasuke now shared. However, at this point, he wanted nothing more than to go hide under his covers and hope it goes away. Taking his teacher's advice, Naruto turned off all the lights and rolled into the comfort of his bed, giving no thought to his clothes, nor to his usually-hygienic bedtime routine.

In the span of a day, he's both made out with, and beaten, his best friend of four years. Then he'd nearly killed him. His mentor had accused him of having unprotected sex, and the hokage had given him shit for ignoring instructions that hadn't even been fully explained. It had been a bad day, he concluded, with the exception of the making out part. That was an experience he would always remember, and not just because Kakashi would taunt him about it nearly every day. The way they had connected that afternoon had been more intense than any other incident he could remember. It was like the rush he got during a true fight, only better. There was less animosity, and more sexual tension, he figured. It had been one of the most adrenaline-charged rushes he'd ever had, and he was a ninja. It was really hard to thrill a ninja who'd been active for any measure of time, and that had truly done it.

As he neared sleep, Naruto, who really should have been adrift in a sea of confusion, finally made sense of everything that had gone on in the last few weeks, and was elated to find how completely he accepted himself. Despite this, his nerves remained – more important than his own reaction to the series of events was Sasuke's.

He shut his eyes tightly against the possibility of imminent rejection, and eventually drifted off.

* * *

**Let me know what you think, and please pray for Christopher.**

- Sarsaparilla


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry dudes. My first year at university ended - it was, as my boyfriend insists that I call it, the shiz. I guess this gives me time to fiddle around with this and learn how to write sentences that are mildly amusing once more. For those who prayed for him and didn't know, I'd just like to let you know here that my friend Chris passed away a day or two after I posted the last chapter. Thanks again.

* * *

When Tsunade finally finished speaking, Sasuke couldn't help letting out a small sigh. It made sense, he supposed. When people got reckless, Tsunade's lectures were elongated. The more someone messed up, the longer the lecture tended to be.

"What's more," she said after a pause. "If I hear so much as a _whisper_ about you risking your life in a _make-out_ session again, I will have the entirety of Konoha on your ass." Then she narrowed her eyes considerably. "And I will _not_ be held responsible for the bloodshed, got it?"

Sasuke's only response was to look out the hospital window again, which was feet away from his bed on his left side, as he had done for every (assumed) rhetorical question thrown his way for the past hour and – he checked the large round clock whose ticking was surprisingly silent - ten minutes? Really?

"Actually, Tsunade-sama, I'm feeling…" Sasuke considered his verbal options given the syntax he'd started with, and almost cringed when he realized where it left him. "I suppose one could say I'm feeling faint," he choked out.

As soon as the dreaded F-word passed through his lips, the hokage immediately halted her marathon lecture and almost recoiled before launching into a concerned verbal assault on his ears. In a flurry of words, she checked him over, giving his chakra levels what amounts to a cursory glance. In no time, she'd deemed him in stable condition and fled the room, leaving him alone in the semi-darkness with a seemingly sleeping Kakashi in a bed on the opposite side of the hospital room.

Well, that was quick. If only he had said something pathetic to begin with!

A few minutes after the door closed, Sasuke allowed his head to fall back to the pillow. Apparently strapping ninjas into hospital beds made it harder to escape? It was a ridiculous notion, but for someone who just wanted to hang out where he was, it was hindering. In fact, he couldn't even pull himself into a sitting position. At this point in his recovery, though, the Uchiha wasn't in the mood to sit or escape, so it didn't bother him much. He truly did feel a little…tired. Not faint. However, he reflected as he heard a commotion from Kakashi's side of the room, he may have to pretend to pass out if the jounin in question started talking.

"Yo," he said. "I can see that gleaming hickey from here."

Death by make-out session truly seemed to beat out living with the embarrassment this experience promised to cause. Sasuke turned his head towards the window yet again, trying to escape. Where were out of body experiences when you needed them?

"Was there any biting? Or would you say it was all sucking? I feel like Naruto would get in there with teeth – he's a pretty predictable kid, really," Kakashi rambled.

Sasuke tried to turn all the way over on to his side, but the gurney straps seriously restricted that kind of movement. Please let it just stop.

"I'm guessing it was pretty hot, hey? The sexual tension has been anything but subtle," he went on in a very conversational manner. His voice then gained a perverted edge: "I always knew you wanted to bang him."

Sasuke snapped his eyes shut in horror, and wished fervently that the silent, round clock hung in the room was making any kind of tick-tocking at all. He wished that he really was passed out, or at least closer to it. Nothing bothers you when your consciousness is floating like a dead body in a river, freed from responsibility and deathly embarrassment.

"I did _not_ want to bang him," he muttered angrily. He didn't want to give the jounin anymore ammo, but Sasuke just couldn't help it. He'd never really gotten along with the pervert.

In a poof, Kakashi popped from his bed and its restraints, and approached the chunin, who lay exhausted, bound, and helpless. He nearly giggled in anticipation of the torture that was to come, one eye crinkling in joy. "Not until a few weeks ago, eh? I saw it coming a mile away." When Sasuke made a sound of denial, his sensei crouched next to the bed, holding up just one finger. "Love-bites don't lie, kid. Very few ninja let anyone, friend or foe, get that close to the jugular." His visible eye gave a poignant stare before crinkling back up. "I've always preferred a different sort of sucking action myself," he stated with what could only be described as pride.

Sasuke wanted to pass out. He could make it happen, and would do it if this became an emergency and his mental safety was put at risk. "Get the hell back to your knitting, Kakashi," he bit out. Then he clenched his jaw instinctively and hoped the menacing Uchiha look he'd inherited from his sombre, angry ancestors would ward off the rest of the torture. He'd been practising this glare most of his life.

Casting a glance back to his bed, another pleasant look crossed Kakashi's features. "Really, it's Iruka's knitting. Do you know what he's going to do to you? If you really _did_ bang Naruto, there's no going back now." Sasuke made garbled choking noises in the back of his throat. "Even if you didn't, Iruka now knows that you have Intention to Bang, and what with his Naruto-complex, it's practically the same thing."

The Uchiha's eyes were getting buggy. "I _didn't_-!"

"Sexy rendezvous don't lie either," he sang, his voice melodious with true, unrestrained joy. "And to think that my blushing Iruka found Sasuke the Sex-Fiend trying to hook up with his innocent student on some kitchen counter!"

Dark eyes glared in the dimming light. "It was _not the kitchen counter!_" he muttered, outraged. "And I am _not _a sex-fiend."

Kakashi's expression was beatific under his mask. "Sasuke the Sex-Fiend had poor, innocent Naruto pinned to the table instead?"

"No!" Well, yes. At one point. Until things had gotten so heated and electrifying that he'd sunken to the floor, taking the other boy with him. Among the things Sasuke remembered most about the encounter upon waking up was the smoothness of his best friend's skin, the intensity as their teeth and lips and tongue eagerly releasing years of frustration and anger, and the thrill at feeling Naruto fingering the waistband of his boxers – only the very edge, smoothing across the slick sweat that had gathered at his lower back.

It made him itch for a fix just thinking about it.

* * *

As Sasuke contemplated just how he could escape from Kakashi's company and sneak into Naruto's, and as his sensei contemplated the many exciting implications of Sasuke's silence and expression, Iruka entered the room and turned on the lights. Before their eyes had adjusted to the brightness, the pony-tailed man was wheeling in their direction.

"_Sasuke!"_ he breathed venomously, proceeding to stand in silence for a few seconds that stretched on forever.

When it didn't look like his partner was going to say anything, Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Sasuke the Sex-Fiend decided to take this opportunity to avoid another lecture. Locking his eyes with Iruka's, he said disdainfully, "I've already gotten this from Tsunade, thanks."

The man, instead of backing off, seemed particularly affronted and looked like he was preparing to elongate the original lecture, so the Uchiha thought quickly. "And I feel very tired," he declared, adding when the position of Iruka's angry eyebrows didn't change, "in a faint sort of way."

That seemed to do it. Iruka felt attached to all of his students, current and former alike, and this attachment, no matter how slight, definitely prohibited him from antagonizing a former student who had been just recently on the brink of death. He sighed, and turned to sit on Kakashi's hospital bed. That attachment business could really take the wind out of your sails.

The jounin in the room seemed immediately disappointed with the events. "Wait," he said. "You're just going to let him get away with violating Naruto? Sexing him up? Sasuke the Sex-Fiend has messed your precious up so dearly that he's given the scoundrel a hickey!"

Iruka covered his burning face with both of his hands. "I don't want to hear about it, Kakashi! I don't want to hear, talk, or think about it."

You're not the only one, Sasuke mused. If he could have, he might have had his face buried much like Iruka's. Curse Tsunade and her obsession with strapping people in.

Obviously, Kakashi was having none of this stick-in-the-mud-esque behaviour. "Sasuke's been getting high off of Naruto's innocent body, and you're willing to ignore this travesty of justice? Look at this boy's neck," he intoned in an only mildly interested voice. Out of pure habit, Iruka looked in that direction and frowned at what he saw. "We know that Naruto likes to suck necks. What do _you_ think will come next?" Then Kakashi raised his eyebrow slightly in order to push Iruka that much closer to mental turmoil. Nothing this fun had happened since his joyride, which felt already as though it had been years ago, and he had sworn to himself long ago that he would, when the time came, milk this opportunity for all it was worth. His years of suffering because of the boys' sexual frustration were finally paying off in an exciting drama that was sure to be drawn out for at least a year or two, if he knew Iruka. And boy did he know Iruka.

The man in question bristled a bit as the colour rose even further in his cheeks. "Kakashi. Stop it."

"But he was sexing him up!" Kakashi popped over so that he was right next to Iruka's beautiful golden face. "Sex. -ing. Him. Up," he drawled slowly. On the other side of the room, Sasuke could feel his throat trying to make those choking noises again.

Flustered, Iruka clenched his fists. "Shut it, Kakashi."

One eye beamed at him. "What are you going to give me?"

Probably sexual favours, thought Sasuke, but he sure as hell wasn't going to say anything. If one good thing were to happen to him in his life, he wished it were a magical blessing with enough energy to escape this God-forsaken hospital room and its two resident kooks.

"Kakashi, I'm not doing _that_ again." Sasuke really didn't want to know what _that_ was. Unless, of course, Naruto was the one suggesting it, in which case he would, of course, only consider it as a means to access the boy's powerful and seemingly limitless chakra supply.

"No, no," Kakashi insisted. "Better than that. I want…" He let the pause become dramatic. Iruka couldn't help himself, and leaned forward a bit, half hoping for something exciting and fresh, and half dreading the inevitable. Contrarily, Sasuke tried his hardest to lean away from the ordeal, and into his pillow. His eyes were a little worn out, and at that point they seemed to close of their own accord.

"I want your soul," he finally said. Kakashi's one eye and voice combined to pull it off in perfect deadpan style, and if he was trying to be romantic, at that point, Iruka's frazzled brain resembled scrambled eggs too closely for him to resist.

* * *

When Sasuke woke up next, the light was coming into the room from an odd angle. That was the first indication that he had not woken up in time for morning. A quick glance at the big taciturn clock revealed that he had slept straight until 4:32PM. As a general rule, Uchihas didn't sleep in, but as he had been a victim of his best friend's stupidity and shiver-inducing touch, he supposed that it really wasn't his fault. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as things began to come into focus, and the first thing he noticed was a very ugly card sitting on the nightstand next to him. The picture on the front was ugly, as was the chicken-scratch that read "I'm sorry for almost killing you." It was probably worse that Naruto's childhood work. Next to the card was an ugly vase full of grey knitting needles.

Sasuke closed his eyes again. Screw it. He didn't care what was in the card. It wasn't like he was all attached and lovey-dovey. It had just been a good time, or whatever people called it these days.

He lay there for a while, contemplating the amount of chakra he would need to use up in order to return to the comfort of his coma. Then he contemplated what life would be like once he was free of the Konoha Hospital for good. Then he came to the hard realization that the disturbing symptoms he experienced in withdrawal would result in him back at the hospital one way or another, be it after a failed mission – withdrawal, he assumed, put a damper on one's fighting ability – or after another heated visit with Naruto that might leave him half dead. Sasuke contemplated this reality far longer than he contemplated his briefly imagined freedom from the hospital.

It was looking a lot like a lose-lose situation. He opened his eyes and they settled back on the really, truly, very ugly card. And it's friend, the ugly vase filled with knitting needles. Whatever, he thought. He could do what he liked. It was _his_ hospital room to begin with. With that vehement thought, he snapped his attention towards Kakashi's bed, but the irritating ninja had disappeared, and there, as if by the work of clever replacement jutsu, lay Iruka, asleep. His right foot was bare and dangled from a loop that attached to the ceiling in a complicated arrangement of hooks and pulleys.

Frankly, Sasuke didn't really want to know what the issue was – he was much more interested in the homeliness radiating from the display on his nightstand. Even from here, though, his opposing vantage point allowed him to read the bold kanji borne on Iruka's sole – "Property of Hatake Kakashi."

Oh for crying out loud.

Without so much as a shake of his head, the Uchiha moved the moronic concept to the rear of his consciousness, focusing his attention on the wax crayon portrait marring the front of the construction-paper card. It was of him, that much was certain, but there were exes in place of his eyes, and his tongue was lolling out of his mouth at an odd angle, as if it were defying gravity. Typical. Inside the "I'm sorry for almost killing you" card was another picture in wax crayon, this one depicting a cartoon Naruto stabbing his cartoon self in the nostril with a knitting needle. "These are a reminder of how a true bastard should be woken up, Teme!" the card declared crassly. Underneath that note was another, smaller one, written in a crayon that had a colour quite similar to the construction-paper.

"Meet me at the bridge tomorrow night, around midnight. If you're not there, I'll find you and make mince meat out of your face. I dunno what that is, but you better believe that I will make it happen."

It was signed, "BETTER THAN YOU."

Well. Huh.

Sometimes aggression could be pretty sexy, if the feelings he was experiencing now were anything to go by. And if this message was anything to go by, it seemed as if Naruto was behind Sasuke's first plan of action – do it again, don't get caught, and try to crash at home instead of at the hospital. Sneaking around was also pretty sexy.

There hadn't really been any need for threats – Sasuke never turned down a challenge, especially not one from the likes of the dobe.


	14. Chapter 14

**Yay! I really enjoy the mental image the last line of this chapter gives me, because I could so see it happen. Now I have to go to work. Let me know if you like it!**

**

* * *

**

Iruka's foot still hurt. The part of it that actually touched the ground when he walked had not been marred by the tattoo covering the sole of his foot, but most of the skin around the mark felt sympathetic pain strongly enough to wake him in the night when he'd flexed it involuntarily. He heaved a long sigh. It was close to midnight. Just after. Where was Kakashi? He found the jounin lying next to him on the small bed, squished up against the restraining side bars of the hospital bed.

Why am I even here? Why are _we_ here? We should just go home.

Iruka was uncomfortable, and he waited for the answers to his questions. He knew his groggy head could find them as soon as it stopped lingering on his aching foot.

He became a little more alert upon remembering. He had to watch Sasuke. Keep him here. Keep him in a safe place. Keep him in a place where he would not run into Naruto. Lead him not into temptation, but deliver him from the evil that was his own addicted mind. Iruka raised himself up on his elbows and looked. There was a bump in the bed over there. It was Sasuke-sized. He almost got up to check for sure, before thinking better of it. After all, Sasuke was still probably too weak to manage a replacement jutsu that could lend such incredible lifelike bunchiness to the covers. Plus, his foot hurt. He'd sold his sole to that devil with the silver hair.

* * *

Sasuke was at the bridge, and it was 12:49 in the morning. He'd left his bed an hour ago, with only some pillows to bulk up into a Sasuke-esque shape. The Uchiha was pissed to say the least, but had been torn as to which course of action to take for over half an hour. He finally sat down on the bridge with his back to the railing. He could leave now, he reasoned. Return to the hospital bed. No one needed Naruto if this was the kind of hassle he was now. He could slip back into the room with the crazy ninja and his flushing boyfriend, and try to seem apathetic when he looked into the eyes and soul of that ridiculous, god-awful card. He could grab that stupid vase and go up to the roof of the hospital and dump its contents out over the edge of the building. Maybe that blond idiot would just happen to walk past at just that moment, and Sasuke could achieve a quick revenge. At that moment, nothing sounded better than his best friend's impalement by knitting needles.

Alternatively, he could go searching for Uzumaki and risk missing him completely. Who knew what went on in his head? Given the numerous stupid things Naruto had said and done over the years, he wouldn't be shocked if he learned later that the dobe believed midnight to mean one in the morning.

Because he didn't want to miss Naruto if he did eventually show up, and because he didn't want to go back to that dull hospital room with nothing to show for his trouble, and because he _hated_ that stupid card, Sasuke stayed. What else could he do? He was confused, but he barely acknowledged it. It was no good if word got around that he was confused. But seriously, if they were going to have a heated make-out session (he had thought about it, and that really was the only explanation for a late night rendez-vous), then why not do it on time?

"Stood up" was a phrase he had heard and read before, but it had never applied to him, and so it had never had quite the taste it did now. He was no conaisseur, but it was fairly bitter. He had been stood up. By the dobe. By the _dobe,_ who had the gall to think that he was _man_ enough to-

The pale boy tensed in the moonlight, and his breathing stopped for a moment. Had he heard a _rustle?_

Crickets chirped somewhere far off. The breeze played in his hair, tickling his forehead. It made it itch, but he still didn't move. His pulse quickened in anticipation, but he didn't let his hopes rise. He couldn't, however, stop the biting words that leapt to his tongue, ready to slash at the useless moron the minute he came within range. In some ways, those words were like hopes. He hoped to reduce the dobe to angry tears with his sharp tongue (which hadn't happened yet, but might one day), before goading him into a shoving match and wrestling him down on to a nearby lawn, at which point he would rip that stupid orange outfit to smithereens, whatever those were, and push him down into the grass, and pin his legs with his own, and trail his hands down that tan skin, and feel every perfect jolt of pure power that poured from him (preferably with his lips, which seemed to be that much more sensitive that he'd previously thought), and then just _grab him-_

Another rustle. It was suspicious to hear two rustles sounding so close together in the night. These rustles probably weren't small animals – they sounded bigger, and clumsier. More human. More ridiculous.

Sasuke didn't turn his head to look at the dobe when he rounded a corner and stepped on to the bridge. He tried to appear calm, as if he hadn't been waiting for nearly an hour. As if he hadn't been contemplating the connotations of being stood up, or the exact colour of the boy's golden skin. As if he didn't want to taste it right this moment.

"You're late, Usuratonkachi." He tried not to give anything away, but he could feel Naruto smile easily and felt like he had spilled all of his secrets with just three words.

* * *

Naruto grinned. Sasuke was here. He knew he'd come, but hadn't been so certain that he'd stay. This definitely proved it, though – Sasuke wanted him.

"You sure I'm not early?" he sang out. He had spent all day revamping his carefree persona. What good _was _a carefree persona if it was totally out of commission when he needed it? Sasuke was one of the reasons it developed the way it had. Sure, Naruto had been pretty goofy before they'd met, but, over the years, experience had taught him that he had to add a suave element to his class-clown attitude. He was pretty sure it made him more endearing and more likeable, and Konoha ninjas their age had to have something extra going for them when they had to compete with babe-magnets who were also skilled and proficient.

Said babe-magnet had his eyes tilted suspiciously in the moonlight, trying to find the angle, before they relaxed enough to give their owner a nonchalant appearance. "I knew you thought midnight meant one," Sasuke said, a biting lilt to his words. "Hn. You would, wouldn't you?" Naruto _hated _that he could do that. Even after they'd become friendly towards one another, Sasuke had kept up the habit of saying his words in a way that got under his skin. With every sentence, it felt like he was displaying Naruto's idiocy to the world.

Thanks, but he was pretty sure he didn't need any help with that. The blond tried to keep his tone light and taunting when he replied, "You're sure I said midnight?"

It was obviously the correct response. He could tell because, as soon as he'd finished the question, his friend's eyebrows returned to their previous position. Naruto tilted one side of his mouth while he waited for the retort – it was looking as thought this was going to be a good meeting. Sure, they weren't acting exactly like they had been _before, _but at least this was a start. He had to wonder what the chances were of resolving this thing before it got too out of control. If they smothered this situation now, there was a much smaller chance that other people would hear about what they had been up to in the apartment that day. Maybe he could get the girls off of whis back. He and Sasuke could be cool with each other, instead of hot and sweaty, which would be an improvement, he was pretty sure.

Pretty sure, pretty sure, pretty sure, but not positive. It felt like everything _could _be pretty sure, but nothing in Naruto's life at this moment was truly and irrevocably _sure_. For instance, he was pretty sure he wasn't gay. Then again, he was pretty sure his pants had been tight when he and Sasuke had had their…incident-thing. Then _again_, he was pretty sure that had just been some good ol' rivalry tension getting mixed up with unfortunate experimenting and teenage hormones. Then _again_, he was pretty sure Sasuke had _liked_ their incident. But, then again, he probably really just wanted to make sure their friendship was on solid ground, which explains him showing up to the bridge at all, let alone on time. But, then again, Naruto was pretty solid on the fact that he'd felt something pretty solid in Sasuke's pants.

Naruto's thoughts screeched to a halt, and he gulped, hoping he wouldn't have a panic attack right there.

"Dobe," the dark-haired chunnin's voice cut into the stale silence of Naruto's non-thought. "I know what you wrote on that stupid card." It sounded slightly irritated. This was good. Things were normal.

"You don't have a single doubt? Not a single doubt?"

"I'm obviously more mentally capable than you are, Usuratonkachi."

Naruto allowed a sly expression to creep over his face. "You musta paid that 'stupid card' some serious attention."

At this, Sasuke's expression clouded and he issued a scoff, but he didn't say anything else right away, just stared at him in a way that was pretty odd given the forgive and forget type of meeting they were having. The glare coming his way was definitely verging on hostile.

Naruto stepped forward. "Why don't we just get on with this?"

Sasuke took a step towards him, his dark glare intensifying. "Let's."

While Naruto was raising his right arm in a gesture that was to aid in the peace-making process, Sasuke stepped way into his personal bubble and began knocking it away rather violently. Alarmed, Naruto's first response was to kick at the other boy's legs. One knee buckled and then they both went down.

* * *

After all that, you would think that the dobe would have finally figured it out. And had he? It really didn't seem that way, especially with the way his face was looking as they both fell to the ground. Whatever. It wasn't like he was the brightest little light bulb around. It was probably just taking a really long time for the signals in Naruto's brain to figure out what was going on. Sasuke took advantage of the shock the fall brought and jumped on top of his friend, who then began trying to pry him off. They tumbled and twisted, rolling off the bridge and on to the sharp gravel and dewy grass, both sensations sharp and unpleasant, jolting him. It was a good thing, really. He had to stay alert. They'd been together for a few seconds and already his mind was clouding over, his consciousness trying to float away on him. He couldn't allow this to happen.

He allowed himself to be rolled under his friend, but not quite pinned. His shoulder blades dug sharply into hard earth. There. He was intoxicated, but awake. He gazed upwards and met his teammate's confused blue eyes. It wasn't an unfamiliar, except for the fact that the expression was a result of Sasuke's abrupt advances. Now that Naruto had retaliated, he didn't seem like he knew what he was going to do next, so Sasuke resolved that problem by pulling the blond's face to him by his hair. Naruto make a sort of a "gak!" sound as his head snapped forward, and then Sasuke pushed their lips together.

Just like last time, their kiss was rough. However, unlike last time, Sasuke was sensing little participation from the other boy. In effort to force a response, the Uchiha worked his lips harder, his tongue reaching out, trying to prod and push its way into the hot cavern of Naruto's mouth. His body was on fire, and electricity coursed through his veins. He was getting lost in the moment, which was why it came as such a shock to him when the heat was suddenly torn from him.

* * *

Naruto gasped. His brain had stopped function while they had been touching like that, but now that he had separated himself from Sasuke, he felt snippets of rational thought begin to return to him. Everything was quiet, save for their heaving breaths and the sound of the blood pumping past his ears.

"You," he heard himself say, "want me."

Sasuke's eyes were wide and bewildered, but his voice was steady. "Yes."

"No," Naruto said. "You _want _me."

"Yes," Sasuke repeated.

Naruto chanced a look down at Sasuke's pants. "No. I mean, you _really_ want me."

"I said yes!" the other boy finally snapped. "I thought you were at least capable of understanding that!" Then he snaked a hand out and snatch a tanned arm, and immediately his face began to relax. Naruto watched the change curiously, and then remembered why he was there. He jumped back again.

"No! Stop touching me, Teme!"

Apparently the lack of physical contact meant a return of Sasuke's irritability. "Stop moving, Dobe," he bit out with a scowl.

"But you'll, like, die or something!" he protested.

He could see Sasuke's jaws clenching. He still seemed animated, but, after that brief period of physical contact, he already seemed to be unsteady on his feet. He didn't respond to Naruto's worrying, and so they stood there in silence again, one of them swaying in the gentle breeze.

Finally, through gritted teeth, the response came. "You're right." Naruto could not recall a time in recent memory when this had happened before, and because the situation was completely new, he didn't know what to make of it.

"I am?"

"Look, Naruto," he began, in a voice softer than usual. "I think I know why you came here tonight." Naruto leaned forward in order to hear him better. "And now I think I know why you came here, too." Naruto took a step towards him, this time to make sure he was all right. That wasn't a very Sasuke-like blunder to make. In fact, very few blunders, if any, were characteristic of Sasuke. "And what I think," he continued, wobbling backwards and plunging himself forwards in order to keep his body upright. "Is that we should really consider…" he stumbled forward a bit, and Naruto instinctively stepped towards him again, his arms raised as if their position in the air would steady him. "We should really consider…" Sasuke nearly whispered. Naruto moved his ear even closer, so that they were inches apart.

Suddenly, Sasuke's right hand clapped around his left wrist in a vice-grip, and Naruto made another, "gak" sound.

"Improving our teamwork," the Uchiha finally finished with a smirk.

The blond immediately began shouting and pulling, trying to wiggle out from the hold, but his friend made lightning-fast allowances for every tug and turn, and at the end of almost ten minutes, they were still connect. They were still skin to skin.

"If you make me let go now, I probably will, like, die or something," Sasuke told him in a mocking voice.

"We have to see Tsunade," Naruto insisted, tugging them in the direction of the hospital.

"No, we don't." Sasuke pulled them back towards the bridge.

"Yes, we _do!_" Another tug.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

* * *

When someone finally found them, it was about nine in the morning, and it was Hinata. As she walked up, the first thing she noticed was that the two seemed to be holding hands. A flush lit up her cheeks, and she began to walk away, but then Naruto started calling for her.

"Hinata! Listen, you have to come over here!" he shouted.

"Stay away," came Sasuke's cold voice.

She worried her eyebrows together and chanced another glance at the pair. And that was when she realized that Sasuke didn't have any of his own chakra, and that the stuff that was positively dripping from Naruto was all that was keeping the Uchiha sitting upright on the lawn.

"Uh…I think you should, um, go to see, uh, Tsunade-sama."

They both responded simultaneously with "No!" and "Yes we should!"

"Hinata-san," Naruto addressed her in his most polite voice. "Would you please bring her to us? We've been sitting like this all night." His eyes were wide and earnest, and he was wearing that cheery smile that could still make her heart flutter.

Of course she stuttered out a yes, and for her trouble she was rewarded with an even bigger smile from Naruto, coupled with a wink. Her face flushed further when she realized that Naruto had winked at her, and then that Sasuke was glaring at her mercilessly.

"I-I…I'll g-go do that," she declared, and then she skittered off.

Sasuke turned his steely eyes to the blond. "You figured flirting with her was the only way you could accomplish that?"

"No, but it was kind of fun."

There was a beat of silence, and then they stood up and tugged their hardest in opposite directions, gave up once more, and sat down simultaneously.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey. So in a lot of ways I really don't want to finish this. It's been way too long and I don't know this story, or the Naruto world, as I once did. However, now I know how it's going to end. And having recently gotten back into the Inuyasha fandom and found it full of great but unfinished stories guilted me, and so this is here. It's short, but hopefully I will have the next one up quickly. I love you all. :3

Addicted - 15

"Your hands are sweaty," a mellow Sasuke declared. One look at him and you had to know things were not right. He had a weird sort of smile on his face.

"At least my face isn't sweaty," Naruto retorted.

Sasuke lifted his unoccupied hand and touched his forehead, snorting a little at what he found. "It's not. You really _are_ an idiot!"

The blond rolled his eyes to the sky and fell over onto his back, giving their arms a tug. "This is ridiculous. You have turned into the biggest space cadet I've ever known. And it happened in less than ten minutes. And we've been here _all night_ because of you. Do you realize how stupid that is, Teme? How can you even call yourself a ninja?" When all he got in response to his rant was the sound of birdcalls, he turned his gaze from the light blue sky to the Teme in question. Sasuke was sitting cross-legged in the grass, only touching him at their palms. A light breeze played in his dark hair that was poking up in irregular peaks – not up to the normal Uchiha grooming standards. "Don't you have something to say for yourself? You're being like a kid," the blond harrumphed.

"While you're less and less like a kid, Dobe. That's almost amusing" Sasuke declared, also flipping onto the grass. Except that Sasuke didn't really seem too amused. He seemed frighteningly intense despite his new mellow lease on life, staring (awkwardly) most of the time.

"Gee," Naruto nearly-shouted, his nerves frayed. "Tsunade really seems to be taking her time." Why is it always so hard to be conversational when a conversational tone is just what is needed? Things would be so much simpler if Sasuke would just _reign in_ his eyes!

"Do you ever wonder about things?" Sasuke asked, eyes glassy.

Naruto glanced at him, untrusting. "What kind of things? Like, questions? Like things about people?"

Sasuke tilted his head, the daylight illuminating his pristine skin. "No. Like stuff."

"Are you _high?_ I hope you're just high, and that your brain hasn't rotted. You know, if it _has _rotted, they'll blame that on me, too. And you know how they never believe me," the blond ranted. "They _never_ do. They'll be convinced I made you an idiot, and they'll never listen about you being an idiot already, _before_ I got to you." He cast his eyes back towards his friend only to find him much closer than he had been moments earlier. Their heads were almost touching, blond and black hair mixing in the grass. "Well, before you got to me," he amended, a little wary.

Sasuke took in a long, lazy breath. "I sometimes think about stuff. Wonder about it, you know. How you can be friends with everyone so easily? How can you let them be friends with you? That's something I kinda won-"

"Wonder about? Yeah, I got it, I got it. Short answer: I'm a sexy beast, and chicks dig my hair," he commented easily, before feeling suddenly awkward. "I kinda wonder why you refuse to make friends with people so easily. You must feel bad sometimes. I mean, you've probably been a huge jerk since before you were born." Naruto didn't really feel any remorse for anything he said to the Uchiha anymore. It was pretty much the way things went between them, normally. Normality was good. "A really huge jerk," he added for good measure.

"Like," Sasuke seemed to pause, thinking, before he went on, "They just like your hair? _Everyone?_"

Naruto closed his eyes in despair, edging away a little to regain some personal space. "You're so _stupid_ when you're like this. It's _embarrassing._"

The other boy followed him as he edged along the grass, clinging to his lifeline. He rolled around and propped himself up

"I used to think my hair was all right. What do you think? Maybe it's too black, or…spiked wrong?" Sasuke mulled.

Naruto rolled his eyes.

* * *

The reason Tsunade was taking so long was not only because Hinata had never reached her, but also due to the fact that she and her fellow ninjas were a little busy. At least that's what Iruka would have told Naruto had he heard him wondering about it. Late that morning – just before lunch, in fact – Konoha was seized by an invasion that was, mostly, silent and subtle. Soon after that, the village and its surroundings fell eerily quiet.

When the Iruka woke up that morning, there was little action in the hospital. Kakashi had scampered off somewhere and there were no sounds from the halls. The numerous ninja that regularly passed his doorway -often moving back and forth from the vending machines at one end of the hallway - were absent. So was Sasuke, Iruka discovered soon enough. He marched out of the hospital into the hot, humid day on his poor tattooed foot, beelining it towards hokage's office. He was ready to raise hell about that damnable Uchiha boy until he was pounced on from behind, stuffed into a dark bag, and clonked on the head. Which hurt.

Quite honestly, any good ninja should be able to keep himself from being stuffed into a sack. Iruka lamented this failure until he woke up for the second time that dreary day to a number of familiar faces. Kakashi was there, which was both reassuring and worrisome, as was the presence of the hokage and the entireties of teams eight and ten. They didn't seem tied up, really. It was more like they were all just devoid of the desire to move. They were strewn like rag dolls about the room, eyes glazed over, some unconscious, and leaning on things: walls, each other, barrels of one sort or another. All those with open eyes appeared relatively aware, but none were talking. The room was dark, a little daylight trickling in from a window, but not quite the amount required to make out the colours and finer textures of the room. The teacher wondered whether they were being guarded, and whether their captors were in that very room, but his body seemed to resist whenever he attempted to move much more than his eyes.

"What's happening?" Iruka tried to question, but his mouth didn't respond, and his voice only groaned faintly. Whoa. He was really tired. Exhausted, even. That groan felt like it had taken all of his strength.

How strange. He'd felt fine this morning, and could remember having been attacked but not having fought much with his assailant. Or assailants? Given the sheer number of accomplished ninja lying motionless in the room, it seemed likely that Konoha had been taken by a large group. Iruka moved his eyes around as much as he could manage, taking in his surroundings. They were in what looked to be a storeroom of sorts. It could have been anywhere, but he could smell food of some kind. Vegetables, maybe, and old cooking scents which were reminiscent of Naruto's clothes a few days after a ramen binge. Which meant they were somewhere near the ramen stand, in the centre of town, in a store house. It was a decent start, he guessed. There was some other smell, too, an herby smell that was not all together pleasant. Try as he might, Iruka couldn't place it. His sense of smell had always seemed dimmer after the blow that had given him that scar.

Why would they be imprisoned in a storage area with little structural security, a lack of restraints and no apparent supervision? Unless they (whoever "they" were), didn't expect their captives to be getting up and walking out any time soon.

Alarmed at the thought, he quickly tried again to rally his strength, struggling to move any part of his body. The chunin felt as though he'd shifted slightly, but had little time to mull over the accomplishment as the drain on his energy sent him back into unconsciousness.

* * *

In the hour following Hinata's departure, Naruto had thought of a number of things. Among them, he'd somewhat confronted his own feelings towards Sasuke, prompted as he was when he'd let him hold on after the intoxicated ninja made a few not-so-subtle grabs for his belt loops. He'd allowed the pale hands at his waist to caress his middle, the fingers, long and thin, dipping below the band of his pants to touch the point of one hip and then to rest on the plain just below his navel. The Teme's eyes were closed, his breathing a little shallow, but slow, and for once Sasuke seemed relaxed. It was as if his hands were moving of their own accord.

On the one hand, the blond found that he was terrified by the implications of his friend's actions. Again, he was even more terrified of the response of his body, and then his mind, to these touches that shouldn't have ever happened. Although his first reaction was to hit him, Naruto uncharacteristically reasoned that he probably couldn't send a punch to Sasuke's pristine face without sending his sorry ass back to the hospital. After that, acceptance began to set in. He liked this, with Sasuke touching him. He wanted to kiss him, to touch him back, to spar with him, to call him names. He wanted their friendship to be more…complete than a friendship. He wanted to believe that Sasuke was truly attracted to him, and not only that, but that he cared for him as well.

The blond decided it was highly unlikely. The safest bet was that all this – the touching, the attraction – was due to the weird chakra thing he was giving off. That the attention being paid to his midriff was entirely due to the seal at his middle. That none of this was real. Despite his conclusions and against his better judgement, he let it continue.

However, after drifting in and out of a pleasurable semi-consciousness for who knows how long, eventually Sasuke's movements stopped and he suddenly remembered that Hinata was supposed to come back with Tsunade. And he did _not _need either of them to see this. More gently than he normally would have, he moved Sasuke's hands his bare forearm (a more respectable place). Shortly thereafter he was struck by the thought that it should not have taken Hinata so long. Not only that, but Naruto couldn't hear anything but wind and the quiet flow of water. There were no birds singing in the trees, and the regular village sounds were completely absent. It was as if everything had stopped.

This put him on edge as much as did the few sounds emitted before an attack, or the quiet milliseconds following a strong blow to the enemy. Something was wrong.

He knew immediately that he had to get up and find a way to approach the village without being seen. This was harder than usual as he was now completely responsible for an unconscious Uchiha who weighed a good amount and might die if he lost skin to skin contact. With the sudden urgency of the moment, the blond hefted Sasuke onto his back and wrapped the pale arms about his neck, pressing the palms briefly flat against his collar bone. Then, muscles primed by the undercurrent of adrenaline outlining his movements, Naruto pushed off toward the village, running as quickly as he dared. He really didn't need Sasuke falling off and dying or whatever.

* * *

Tsunade waded through a haze of semi-consciousness. Although not fully aware of her predicament, she had a vague feeling of urgency. What she could make of her surroundings was a hazy acknowledgement of a nasty smell. It was sweet and fetid, and very like something she might have smelled somewhere once, some time ago. Underlying the primary scent was the unmistakable pungency of an alcohol. Attention to it sharpened her awareness. Peeling her eyes open, her field of vision was filled with familiar shapes, but absent of any evidence of guards or – her eyes fell groggily to her hands – bonds of any kind…

Kakashi was nearest to her, and his one visible eye _looked _ a little open. Forcing air through her larynx, she attempted to quietly question him.

The hokage managed a brief, undignified, "Hrrrnngh?" With that, what was left of her energy left her, and she collapsed back against the wall.

* * *

The usual busy life about Konoha was silent in the morning light. The faces of the Hokage Monument looked down upon empty streets and homes. The village felt dull. That was the only way Naruto could think to describe it. The quietness went beyond a lack of sound, reaching a palpable level of stillness. What he was sensing, the blond couldn't fathom, but it was deeply unsettling. He had never known this level of emptiness in his village.

The sun, still rising to its high point in the sky, shone down unbroken light to the buildings below and cast the world into pallid colours. No, Naruto thought, the hair on his arms standing up. Things are definitely _definitely_ not right here.

One hand over the pale hand at his chest, he tightened his hold on his friend, and headed toward the main street. An instant later, he was glad he'd secured Sasuke while he'd had the chance. Immediately thereafter, a gentle wind brought to his attention two things, one being a sweet stink riding on alcohol fumes, and the second being a sudden and strong feeling of vitality just around the next building. A stark contrast to the deadness permeating the village, Naruto was startled into action, pulling away just before another ninja was able to clobber him with a bat. His first thought was that it wasn't very ninja-like to try to clobber someone with something as unsophisticated as a bat. His second was that these guys didn't seem very threatening; apart from some thick-looking face masks, they looked and acted pretty weak. There were three of them, all looking slightly chubby and definitely unfit. Two were a little too close to him for comfort – one holding a bat, and one a large sack – and one standing off a bit, having just emerged from the same alley. This one spoke without looking at him.

"His senses and reflexes should be slow. Give him a good knock and we'll throw them both down there with the others. We shouldn't have to wait long now."

The ninja holding the sack and the bat nodded, taking steps to make their approach. Naruto hardly paid them any mind. Hopping backwards, Sasuke's face banging against his neck, the blond glared at the man he assumed was the leader. "Give me a good knock?" he bristled, incredulous. Sidestepping a clumsy swing from the bat-man, and hearing the flapping of sack material near by, he demanded, "You're just hoping to get close enough to crack me with a bat? What, or try to put a bag on my head?"

The slow nin holding the bat looked dubiously at the man who seemed to be leading the operation. "Why's he not done in already? I'm not exactly an expert at clocking the quick ones."

His companion with the sack let out a chuckle. "Kenji, we _all _ know you need 'em really slow before you have any hope!" Naruto felt his eyebrows twitch in annoyance as he backed a little further away. He wasn't going to risk being even accidentally taken down by someone with aim _that_ bad.

"Wait," the tall ninja muttered. "Wait. Could he be the one? This kid doesn't exactly seem like what we're looking for, yet he seems unaffected by the poisonous fumes. Jiro! Jiro, is this him?"

Naruto jolted as he felt the quick approach of a stronger presence behind him. Swinging around so as to keep his eye on these fools as well, he sized up this newcomer. Now this guy looked the part of a ninja. Trim and tall, this one was also wearing a thick mask over his nose and mouth.

"This blond kid must be the one I'm looking for. See him?" This new ninja pointed at the blond boy. "He's not even swayed by those fumes, and yet chakra must be pouring from him."

Naruto felt his eyes widen. "This has something to do with Kyuubi's chakra? Who the hell are you? What'd you do to everyone, huh?!"

From the way his eyes crinkled – and, having known Hatake Kakashi a long time now, Naruto knew enough about eye crinkling – the man was smiling. "They call me Jiro, and I'm here to suck up some of that excess chakra for you."


End file.
